Complaining

I have officially grown up. Or have I?

I hate complaining! On either end.

Or, maybe it’s because I don’t have any negative people in my life anymore. 

I grew up with a parent that complained none-stop. I hated it then, but still managed to become an adult and copycat what I knew. I was an avid, daily complainer for years.

 

I then managed to surround myself with friends and family members who loved to complain. Or maybe they didn’t love it, but it was just a part of who they were. 

When I realized this, I started immediately praying about it and came to the conclusion, that for me, and my sanity, I simply could not be around people who complained non-stop.

I realize in this life you will complain sometimes, but it really should not be a daily thing. Negativity breeds negatively.

This brings me to last night.

I complained. A whole lot.

Today I’m questioning whether it was beneficial or not. Probably not.

I can see if you are out to dinner and receive  the wrong order, etc. Then yes, by all means, complain. Bring it to the servers attention.

But this was not the case last night.

My son mentioned to me that someone took his Easter eggs that were filled with candy and money. The church had a egg hunt.

Then earlier in the day one of my daughters was mentioning how some of her friends parents are very racist. She told me a few stories.

Another daughter mentioned that they no longer have prayer requests in her youth group. After I reminded her to add a friend to their prayer list.

So by the time we all got into the car and my son seemed disappointed, while telling me about the missing eggs, I just had enough.

I had been wanting to ask one of the youth leaders (There are four)  if they needed any food donations for the kids anyways. So why not tackle it all.

I went back into the church and found one of the youth leaders and just complained to her. I started with the stolen eggs.

Not that it was a huge deal, but more of a…. Why can’t these kids being watched more carefully. I didn’t say that. But I admit, I was thinking it.

Several months ago my youngest mentioned that it was hard to concentrate on the Bible lessons, due to some of the kids swearing Around her.

I had asked another daughter about it, and she said that pretty much, everyone swears there. The kids I mean.

Kids are cussing at church.

Why has this never been addressed?

I get it, no one likes a tattletale. But I don’t want it around my kids if I can help it. And I was the teacher, I would be saying something to their parents.

So the last time I complained to a youth leader was about the swearing. (Same leader as last night)

I realize, like school teachers, they are limited in what they can say. But why not have lessons about using words that glorify the Lord?! Isn’t there anyway that this can be addressed. I know kids swear, but I’m it not be at church?

Likewise, give lessons about theft and racism.

Getting back to last night, it was late and my words were all over the place. Per usual.

I know the leader wanted to get home herself, and probably did not appreciate me holding her up with a complaint, no less.

I asked her about the stolen eggs, and I think it  came out, more so, as….my kid has no treats now. Which was not my issue at all. She mentioned several times that she’d replace his loss, And she really didn’t think they were taken on purpose.

After that I mentioned about the racism. I mentioned that maybe there should be some lessons on theft and racism, seeing as these kids are our future.

That was taken the wrong way and she thought I was saying that my sons eggs were taken because he was white and is the minority.

Which also is not the case. 😔

It was a mess, and I’m feeling  just awful today, Thinking back on the conversation that was not thought out, on my behalf.

To make it worst, I left without even asking about the donations that I wanted to give.

I texted her after we arrived home  and have not heard back. So here it is, noon the next day and I feel like I me off as the type of person that I try to stay away from.

Had I chosen my words more carefully and waited a few days.. Things nay have been different. I’m not sure what to do next.

Not husband would say… Nothing. Just don being it up again and make it awkward.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

North vr’s South

I have written so many North, versus South, posts in my day, but it has been a while. 

I’ve noticed another difference, so wanted to share. 

Vacations:

Growing up in North, when we took a vacation, we were always allowed to invite a friend with us. After all, The more the merrier! 

Likewise, when my friends would take their family vacations, I was always invited to go. 

Didn’t matter where, aquarium, zoo, circus, across the state, or to a different state. 

Even to Canada! My mon didn’t allow me to go to Canada though. 

Since spending the last 10+ years down South, this is just hot the case.

I have never thought about it until today, when one of my daughters asked me why she is never invited on her friend’s vacation, while we always allow the our kids to invite a friend. 

I asked her to ask her friends. Not in a demanding way… Or making her friends feel weird. Just ask and stop wondering. 

She did, and her friend/s did not mind being asked at all she said. In fact, one told her that she always asks, but her parents say no. 

Just family on vacations. These families are from the South. 

I have another daughter, my youngest, who always gets invited by one family to go on their yearly family vacations. 

In fact, that daughter is at the beach right now, with her friend’s family, on their vacation. 

However, that family is not from the South. 

So in learning, it is not the kids, it’s their parents. 

Kids want to experience life and make memories with their friends. Even on vacations. 

But Southern parents have a rule, family only. 

I suppose this is why there are so many movies devoted to family vacations, where the kids are, in most cases, miserable. 

I’m actually not a fan of these sort of movies. I  that sometimes family vacations should just be that. Family. But why all the time? Especially if the kids would like to invite a pal. 

Personally, I still stand, the more the merrier!

Why not let our kids enjoy themselves and bring friends along too. 

When you have a Cold

I caught a cold last week and it’s hanging on for dear life. The only thing that has been making me feel better physically, at least for a few hours, has been a clove if garlic with raw honey. I’ve been taking five cloves a day. I’m so use to it now, it’s like candy. And my family says I don’t smell like garlic, so that is good news.

I know some people stink if they only have one clove. 😬

I read that of you take enough garlic, it’s a pain reliever, and I believe I’ve taken enough, because my back pain has almost ceased.

Since my surgery last year my back has been a huge ordeal to hassle through. I’ve been having to wear a corset like device when I’m out sourcing for hours on end.

…..

This takes me to feeling better mentally.

There are several things I like to do when I’m almost better, to make me feel mentally better.

It generally revolves around the phrase, “Look Good, Feel Good”.

It starts with a hot shower and shaving. I use Veet or Nair to shave, and I open a fresh bar of soap. (The lemon or rose scented ones from Marshall’s)

I then use my PDM on my face, Or Dermaroll…ending with a pore cleaning face mask.

Makeup is the last thing on my mind when I’m sick, so I just use a brown sugar lip scrub and my Sarah Happ Lux Lip Balm. I then slather a moisturizer on. (Neutrogena Oil Free Day)

This all takes about a hour. Not long at all! But by then I’m ready to get back to napping.

When I wake up I put Nivea cream on my hands and feet. If I didn’t recently get a mani & pedi, then I do one or the other. I generally don’t have the energy to do both, or I would.

I then put jewelry on. I know! Why bother?

But for me, looking down at pretty rings on my fingers or favorite bracelet on my wrist makes me smile. In order to feel better mentally, while being alone, I do whatever makes me smile. 🙂

And whether I am sick or not, I’m a feeler type of woman, so if I take care of myself, I feel better. Mentally of course.

I realize that these things do not work for everyone.

And I can’t imagine doing these things the first couple days of being sick.

Those first couple days are for not showering, sleeping, drinking tons of tea and water and taking whatever you have to, to feel human. 😏

But once I start to feel somewhat Better physically, that’s when I have the urge to feel better outwardly. For myself. I don’t leave the house when I’m sick. I even cancelled a doctors appointment for my RA today. I’m still not 100%, so I’m not going out.

What are some ways that you make yourself feel better when you are sick?

Going Brunette For A Year

This was actually an accident, but I decided to just go with it.

I went off to buy my usual auburn hair color at a discount store, Ollie’s.

I need to cover up my grays every few weeks now. *sigh*

Anyhoo, I noticed the L’Oréal box had been taped up, but paused for only a moment to make the observation, before tossing it in my cart.

I got home and opened it, only to find that it was a totally different brand of hair color. Clairol, Nice & Easy.

I could not find the color name or number on the tube, so decided to just go for it! I mean why not?! I’m adventurous!

As soon as I mixed the color I noticed it was definitely not my usual color. But while mixed, it definitely didn’t look black.

I put it all over my head, and set the timer for 35 minutes.

My kids came out to where I was sitting, and gave me a strange look. My daughter asked me to go look in the mirror..

And then…

Woah! Wowser!

This was different. I began to rinse it out and then noticed that this was not just black, this was Jet Black! I went ahead and blew dry it.

I couldn’t desire whether I looked more like Elvira or the lady from the Munsters…

I panicked before thinking that this could be fun. I’ve been blonde, Brown, before…

Of course most of my life I’ve been Red, so I have never felt like myself with any other color…

I’m on day three. I dyed my eyebrows to match last night. (Picture two) yes, they need to fade some.

Somehow, the red brows were not making me feel like I could pull this brunette business off, as natural.

I still feel not so natural. And getting ready in the morning takes twice as long, because being so white again, requires more makeup with this hair. But other then that, it’s been fine.

I defined feel as people are more friendly.

We will see how it goes…

#thelittlethings 😊

Family Sayings

My oldest daughter recently brought to my attention that our family has too many made up sayings.

I rename a lot of things. I’m not sure why. I know their real names, but since the kids were little I renamed many things, and now that they are older they have went off in the world with all these made up worlds that have everyone confused.

Yes, they know the correct words also, but since they have heard me call certain things, certain names for so long… it’s become hard to drop my cutesy sayings. Or so I’m told.

1. Our SUV is called The Tank.

So when my daughter is walking out of the mall with her friends, or church, she points to our vehicle and says, “There’s the tank!”

No one around her knows what she is referring too.

2. Hand sanitizer is know as Germ Killer.

Again, when my kids ask the teacher or one of their friends for hand sanitizer, they refer to it as Germ Killer.

3. Snacks are referred to as Fun Food.

When the kids ask their friends if they would like fun food, their friends ask what that is?! Lol

3. Then there is coming home and changing into your pajamas.

I have always said, “time to get cozy, cozy.”

And that means get ready for bed.

Again, when my daughters are having sleepovers and they ask their friends if they would like to get Cozy,Cozy….They get some odd looks from their friends.

I think this all started when the kids were toddlers. We had a fire place that I use to refer to as The Hot One.

I would tell the kids to be careful and not play near The Hot One.

It was very cute to see my little girls point to the fire and say Hot! Hot One!

But now it’s not as cute when my teens ask me to pass them their iPad…or drink, on THE HOT ON.

4. Laundry is referred to as Chores.

The kids have several chores. (Dishes, feed animals, vacuum) But laundry specifically, is referred to as Chores.🤔

5. Our House is referred to as, The Fort.

I can think of so many other ones we have, but have shared enough for now.

Does your family have any special names for anything?

December

This year has been life changing.

Spiritually and Physically.

Everything has changed. Some bad and some good.

I have increased my work load so much, but it doesn’t feel like work because I love it so much.

I’ve succeeded and surpassed this years work goals from last year and God willing, I’m hoping 2019 it will triple.

I have all three kids on Computer school which has been a bit of an adjustment, but well worth it. I start working right after breakfast. And twice a week I source. I never thought I’d go back to a routine, but it’s working, so I’m on board.

I’m back to 100% from my surgery and am praying about another surgery or next year. My sons healing from his accident and surgery, and has another month of physical therapy to go. He is planning on getting his first job in February. I’m hoping for it to be at Subway, which was where I started at his age. His 14yr old sister just opened up her online store, so I’ve also been helping her with that. DH has got a side hustle that he’s been very into, so everyone has been busy. One more Birthday to go, and that will be during our Beach trip. My youngest is turning twelve. I just can’t believe it. I sometimes wish I can turn back time. I just want to sit at the table and do crafts with the kids all day… but that ship has sailed. They all have phones and we sit around sharing funny videos and memes instead.

All my Christmas shopping is done and I’m hoping time will allow me to wrap it all this week. I have a couple doctors appointments this week though, so we will see how I feel.

Here is a picture of last weeks Ugly Christmas Sweater party outfit.

Everyone told me it was not ugly though, so needless to say, I didn’t win the $50.

In conclusion

While a lot of things have changed this year, and almost nothing has stayed the same, I know I’m in Gods will and he’s got my back, as well as my families and friends.

My Faith has grown so much, and I simply can’t ask for anything more then that.

Scoliosis

Well, when it rains it pours. Or so the saying g goes.

Besides recovering from my surgery this past month and being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Arthritis this year…. I just received a letter from my doctor that stated I have Scoliosis.

I seem to recall getting checked at school for it in the forth grade, and my mom shrugging it off. I was only checked that one time by the school nurse I think.

Needless to say, had I been given a brace to wear back then, it may have been corrected. From what I’m told now. But what’s done is done, and none of these things are life threatening.

I’m now two weeks into my Celebrex and Cymbalta and feeling better each day.

The most positive thing has been sleeping better. I went from waking six times a night to only waking once a night. I wake up by 7 now, feeling refreshed. I generally turn in by 11, or 12. Opposed to 2 or 3am.

Weekly Meds Update

Weekly Update on Medication:

It has been one week since I have started my Fibromyalgia meds.

The first day I felt no difference, obviously.

Second day as well.

By the third day I had less aches and pains.

Still the same mentally.

By the forth day I woke up at 6am, having went to bed at midnight, and I felt refreshed in the morning. Something I never feel unless I drink three cups of coffee.

I got out of bed with no aches or pains.

I went grocery shopping and felt a bit of pep in my step.

The fifth day I felt all around better.

Physically and mentally. I woke again at 6am.

The sixth day (yesterday) I felt a bit crampy.

I was on the kitchen floor most of the day taking shoe pictures for work. That did my back in, and I felt back and leg pain until bedtime.

This brings me to this morning.

I work again early and refreshed. Pain is gone.

I take both medications in the morning upon waking.

My Cymbalta (30mg) I take with my tea. Then I wait a hour and take my Celebrex (100mg)with a bite of granola bar. I tried twice on an empty stomach and it made me nauseous.

I started intermittent fasting last month, and I am still on that journey, as I am

continuing to lose weight. I am down 30lbs so far.

I thought I’d save you the Google, for those that don’t know what these medications are for. Personally, I’m taking both for Fibromyalgia. But they also treat a few other things.

Cymbalta is used for chronic pain; fibromyalgia; anxiety; back pain, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Celebrex is a NSAID, like Advil or Aleve. It’s just stronger. It is used for arthritis, acute pain, menstrual pain and all around discomfort.

So there you have it. If anyone else reading this has been on either of these drugs recently, please feel free to comment, or send me your blog link if you have written about your experience. I know Celebrex had a pretty bad wrap several years ago before they changed the formula. I also know that the withdrawals that you can go through from stopping Cymbalta are pretty awful.

Currently, I am not sure how how I will be on these two.

I know out of pocket each run close to a grand a month. Thankfully my insurance is covering them in full.

Fibromyalgia

Since my surgeries I have been having back pain. I mentioned this at my six week post appointment, but my GYNECOLOGIST said that a hysterectomy does not affect your back.

Yesterday I went to see my Rheumatoid arthritis doctor and she told me that it definitely can affect your back. And that it’s tied in with nerves.

Who do I believe? I don’t know. But she sent me off for some back X-rays and I’m currently waiting for those results.(Update: Came back acceptable she said)

While I was there she diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. She told me that it is hereditary and to not Google it because I will read otherwise. This test is not through blood, which I found odd. Your doctor puts pressure on certain body parts and waits for you to say OW! or not. The doctor will also ask you if you wake up well rested or not. (I never do, and haven’t for the past six or so years)

When I was back in the car, I googled it and article after article stated that it is a form of PTSD. 🤔 Seems like everything is nowadays.

I read that stress and life traumas, trigger the pain that is associated with Fibromyalgia.

Again, what is the truth?

We will never know for certain.

Because I am leaving for a trip in a few weeks, that will have me starting my days early and ending late, I decided to treat my new found ailment with whatever means the doctor ordered for me.

I do not want to be the middle age lady that can’t keep with the rest of everyone. Especially on a trip!

So the doctor put me on Celebrex twice a day, at the lowest dose, and Cymbalta. To my surprise!

Cymbalta is generally used to treat depression, but has a side affect for treating pain associated with Fibromyalgia.

Again, she told me to not Google it, because I will read how this medication has made teens and young adults suicidal.

She assured me that teens and young adults hormones are all over place, hence the medication reacting in a negative way.

I said okay. And I told her that because I an generally a happy, go-lucky person, I’m

Pretty sure I’ll be alright. BUT the first negative, mind altering thought I get, I would call her and need to stop taking it.

That said, if it’s going to stop my daily fatigue and pain, and not alter my mood in a negative way, then I will give it a try.

I started these two medications yesterday morning.

I’m intermittent fasting, with my first meal at noon and last at 5:30, so I took the meds on empty stomach yesterday and felt very sick the rest of the day.

Then this morning I took them with a couple bites of a granola bar, and felt a bit better, but still somewhat nauseous.

I think my body will adjust though.

Up until now, the only meds I’ve only taken were for my under-active thyroid. (Armor)

We will see how this journey goes.

Surgery Recap

I had my surgery on August 6. 2018

I went into my surgery very optimistic, having been through a half dozen natural childbirths… I was told that it would not be as painful as a natural childbirth.

This was music to my ears.

Six months ago when I was told that my bladder and cervix were falling out of me, I was pretty shocked.

I didn’t even know that was possible.

And since I was not in any pain at the time, I was very confused by this news.

I knew something was wrong. After all, I saw something hanging out of me one morning and tried to push it back up.

Sorry for the TMI, but it felt like how I’d imagine a penis to feel. A heavy hanging feeling. I don’t know how other to explain it.

I had two doctors diagnose me with prolapse of the uterus and bladder.

Yes, I had a second opinion just to make sure.

After that, I knew that I needed to make a decision.

During that time, I had my menstrual cycle for seventy-two days. And I knew THAT was not normal. I made a GYNECOLOGIST appointment for the following week.

The first question the doctor asked me, was whether I was done having kids.

Dh and I knew our family was complete for the past ten years. So that was an easy question to answer.

I went home and prayed about it.

I instantly felt at peace.

I called the doctors office to let them know, and the following week they gave me my surgery date. It was really that easy.

I was told to not eat after midnight the night before my surgery, and to wash TWICE with dial soap the morning of the surgery. (The yellow bar)

I didn’t have this Dial soap, so needed to go buy some.

I was told to not wear any deodorant, perfumes, jewelry, etc. the morning of my surgery.

I then had a nurse call me to ask me if anyone was forcing the surgery on me, and how I was handling myself mentally.

I felt like I was on the phone for thirty minutes trying to convince her I was fine. Perfect in fact!

But I suppose that they need to make sure.

I packed for a whole week. Just in case!

I Arrived bright and early!

There was no one in the waiting room except for me.

The receptionist called us in to take the payment. Which by the way, in case anyone was wondering… $129,000

Yes! That is how much the cash payment is for this surgery.

Mind blowing!

Praise The Lord that my insurance covered 80%.

The receptionist asked me why I was there to make sure I knew. I guess?

Then she took my ID, insurance information, and my picture, and sent me back to the waiting room.

Now there were two men out there.

One was a husband of another lady having a hysterectomy. And the other was his pastor.

We waited for about thirty minutes. Then I was called in.

The prepping part was a bit awkward.

They had me undress and put a hospital gown on. Then they gave me a cap for my hair.

They took my glasses…and bagged up all my clothes.

Then I heard what sounded like an electric razor.

I asked what the sound was, and sure enough….

You can guess what came next?!

I asked why they couldn’t have told me to take care of matters at home. The nurse said that it needed to be gone a certain way, and there was no need to be shy.

Thankfully that took only a few minutes.

After that, the anatheises came in to talk about putting me under. He was a barrel of laughs. And I mean that!

Very personable, and made me feel right at ease. He told me that hospitals are nothing like the TV show ER. And that he’s been doing his job for nearly thirty years.

I’ve never been under before, so I had no idea what to expect. I began to feel a little nervous.

After our chat, a nurse came over to hook up IV up and check my stats.

Then DH said Good-Bye, and away I went.

I remember them rolling me into the operating room.

I remember bright lights, and being lifted to another bed/table. And then nothing after that until I found myself in a completely different room with nurses calling my name to wake up.

I kept hearing, “You did great, time to wake up, it’s time to wake up!”

Opening my eyes, I felt nothing.

Mentally or physically. Nothing!

It was an intoxicating feeling.

My mind was not thinking at all. Nothing!

My OCD brain was completely disconnected.

I was now in a private room. It was all very nice.

A nurse asked me if I wanted to eat anything.

I told her that I’d eat tomorrow.

I just wanted to go back to sleep.

I slept for a couple hours and woke to DH and my oldest daughter in my room.

At this time I started to feel a whole lot of pain.

I was told that the catheter needed to stay on until the following morning.

The pain was intense and they gave me some morphine through the IV.

However, It wore off very quickly and I couldn’t have any more they said. They then asked me whet my pain level was. On a scale from 1-10.

13, I said!

A nurse told me that they may be able to get my pain level down to a three, but to expect some ongoing pain for the next few hours. I started crying and worked myself into a frenzy, then I passed out. Maybe fainted, but I was in be, so I think I passed out from the pain.

I remember a nurse trying to wake me back up.

I do not remember how long I was put, but when I woke back up I was in pain still. I had a nurse checking my blood pressure, which was fine, but that is what I think woke me back up.

I started to cry, and the nurse called another nurse.

The new nurse that cane in started telling me all about her hysterectomy that she had, and how it was the best decision that she’d ever made. Next to weight loss surgery. She said.

She was very sympathetic to my pain, and prepared me what she called, a cocktail.

She said it was her husbands favorite mix for pain and nerves.

At that point, she could have given me OX Blood and I would have taken it.

Anything to dull the pain and pressure I was feeling.

What was this mystery cocktail:

2 Benadryls

2 Tylenols (white circle ones)

1 Ibuprofen (800mil)

2 Vicodins (I think these go by weight.)

2 stool softeners, because narcotics make you constipated they said.

Within ten minutes, I was relaxed as a cucumber. I was shocked how good this combo worked. Mentally, and physically.

Once again, I felt nothing.

Pain went from 13 to 0.

Of course it did not last very long.

And It was a song and dance each of the six times I took this cocktail.

They had me repeat my full name and birthday each time. Then they checked my wristband to make sure it matched up with what I was telling them.

I fully know that this combo would probably kill my liver long term… it worked so much better then any meds distributed in the IV. Including the morphine.

I was pain free for around six hours each time.

This all takes me to day two in the hospital. They had asked if I wanted to be discharged.

I honestly did not. I told them that I would stay as long as my insurance allowed. I did the same when I had each of my kids.

Day 2 was painful, but bearable. I had the cocktail again. I had my first meal since having the surgery.

Day 3- I went home at noon, after having the cocktail one last time.

I Slept all day.

Day 4- My appetite was back, but since my stomach had shrunk, I only had two small meals.

Day 5- I was constipated, so I decided to triple up on the stool softeners they gave me. I also had a strong coffee. (It had been a week since I had any coffee or caffeine)

Day 6- I was no longer constipated.

I felt good upon waking, so I was on feet a lot more.

Day7-I overdid it and was back at 100% bedrest in substantial pain. Lots of pressure.

Day 8-Still in bed with pain.

Day 9-I woke up feeling good once more, so I started back up working.

Day 10-I over did it the previous day, and had to take it easy in bed again.

Day 11- I woke up feeling a bit better, so went out to pick up some furniture with DH for the kids.

Day 12- I woke with a bit of pain.

Day 13- Felt good enough to go out to dinner and a movie. Was getting antsy in bed.

Day 14 post surgery until today.

September 17th, I have been up and about. Grocery shopping, working, etc.

During the past few weeks I’ve had to pass on the zoo, a hike, and a fair outing.

I feel like I’m missing out on all the fun.

Currently, after being on my feet for two consecutive hours, I need to sit down and rest.

And even now, I feel like I’ve been overdoing it. Last week I started to bleed, which concerned me. I no longer had tubes and a cervix, so couldn’t imagine where the blood was coming from.

I called the doctor and they asked if I was in pain, but I was not. So they told me to wait till my check up, which was only four days away.

This all brings me to today.

I had my six week check up to check the stitches.

Turns out I bursted some. Most likely from lifting things more then five pounds.

For my work at home job, I handle with moving mannequins and Rubbermaid bins full of shoes and clothes. Not to mention a full photography back drop and lights.

I have been lifting bins of clothing for work.

It was nothing too bad, but he did a quick repair in the office and sent me on my merry way.

He said to take it easy for the next two weeks, and come back in three months.

I’m going to try to take it easy, but I’m leaving for a trip in exactly three weeks.

I’m excited, yet anxious.

People keep asking me would I have the surgery again, had I known how painful it was. And honestly, I do not know. It was 10x worst then natural child birth. In my opinion.

Yes, I’ve dropped a lot of weight, and after a couple more weeks, I won’t ever have to worry about my period ever again.

Ten years earlier then waiting for menopause to kick in.

So that’s a positive.

I would say the pain was the only negative.

I’ve been reading story after story or how many women feel less then, after having a hysterectomy. But I have not been able to relate to any of the stories that I have read.

I really do not feel any different, mentally, then I did before.

And I keep getting sympathy from people telling me I’m going to be. okay. And then they start sharing how hard it is, mentally, to adjust, and fine peace…

But I’m fine. I do not feel any less of a women. REALLY! I don’t. I feel just as much as myself as I did a year ago.

It surprises me at how many women have had a hysterectomy. Young women too, early 30’s.

You see, After I decided to go through with it, I started telling my close friends. And it turned out that more then half have had hysterectomy.

And all my nurses at the hospital had their own stories to tell me.

Six different nurses!

A couple of times (this past month) when I was out shopping, and felt like I had to sit down and rest, I had complete strangers walk up to me to ask if I was alright. (This warms my heart)

I did not feel shame or weird, telling them that I’m fine, but just recovering from a hysterectomy, so I’m tired.

And then that sparked their stories too.

This includes ubur drivers who have seen my exhaustion and have asked me if I’m okay.

Honestly, I guess I better start looking at myself in the mirror when I’m tired, because I’m apparently looking like death. Maybe I look different now.

I am currently sticking with the short and sweet phrase, “I’m fine. I’m just recovering from a hysterectomy. Thank you for asking.”

I’m not sure why this surgery is such a secret imo get the female population.

I guess because women feel shame. I’m not certain.

I know that the very first time I’ve heard the word, hysterectomy, was back in 2004.

I was at church, and had asked a friend where a mutual friend of ours was.

And my friend whispered.. “Hysterectomy. Shhh!”

I had no idea what that meant and had to look it up online.

I still didn’t fully understand. But I had another opportunity back in 2009 when a friend told me that she’s never been the same after having a Hysterectomy. She broke town in tears and told me that she regrets it everyday.

Other then those two occasions, it wasn’t until my doctor asked me six months ago whether or not I’d be interested in having one, had I ever fully educated myself on the word.

The other two options that I was given, was to be on birth control pills and a Strong progesterone pill, or, have my cervix burned.

I forgot the medical name for that procedure, but I recall having a lady back home tell me about it in detail. And that, sounded just awful at the time.

So. Would I have gotten a hysterectomy had I known how painful it would be the first few days afterwards. I guess yes!

I was bleeding for weeks on end, and my cervix and bladder were literally falling out of me.

That all shared,

Everything feels brand new now, so I’m good to go!

I do not feel shame or disappointment, whatsoever.

I don’t feel anything negative at all.

And I really think more women need to open up and talk about these things with one another.

Sure, some things are to remain private, but if you go through something that can benefit and help another, why remain quiet about it.

Women are so much more then their Uterus’s. So much more! 💕