RIP Auntie. You are forever loved.

Oh Aunt Edie! Where do I began?
I loved you so much.
You filled in so many gaps in my childhood and teen years.
You were always there for me. Always!
Especially as a teenager when I needed someone the most.
But I don’t want to think sad thoughts right now, only happy times, and that is what you always brought to my life.

I’m so happy I had the chance to go to Wisconsin last year and have the kids meet you and spend the day with you.

You taught me everything I know about women hood. And in return, I taught everything that you taught me to my girls.

You were indeed, a free spirit. Everyone thought so.

I know you always wanted to have a daughter, and I filled in that gap for you just as much as you filled for me.

You taught me about homemaking, fashion, Jewelry, nails and makeup. All things girly!
You taught me how people see you, depending on how you present yourself.
First impressions. Making people feel loved.

My first memories of you are when you were pregnant with Aaron, your youngest son.

I hope you are finally reunited with your two Angel babies.

You gave of yourself unconditionally.
So many people did you wrong, but you never held a grudge. Ever!

You were so easy going and didn’t sweat the small stuff. Oh! How I try to be that way.

You loved hard, and passionately.
You had a charisma that attracted people to you. Maybe too much. People left your presence happy, and more alive though. You always made time for everyone that crossed your path and made everyone feel special around you. You never loss your temper. You spoke kindness. You were humble. You loved being a full time mother and friend.

You loved life! Despite all the losses life threw at you.

You were a massive collector of all things that made you happy. You didn’t care that no one understood how you loved so many things.
Regardless of what people thought, you were simply, you.
You found the beauty in every thing.

Some of your collections that I can recall as a child were your baby reborn dolls, sewing cabbage patch kid clothing.
Oh, and your cabbage patch collection. I remember the walls in your living room covered with State Bells, State thimbles, snd State spoons.

Your kitchen was filled with Fiesta ware, Bone China, Blue and Ruby glass. And Tupperware that could fill a store. I remember all of your table cloths, and the day you taught me how to set a proper table. I remember you eating one jello pudding pop a day, and using your Bill Cosby voice, when BC started making those commercials.

Your dining room was filled with vintage linens, baskets, Silver tea sets. I remember how happy you were when your husband installed the swinging wooden bar doors. You didn’t care if anything matched. You liked what you liked.

I remember how magical I thought your bedroom was as a young girl. Old books stacked against the walls. Beads and bead magazines lined up and future projects. Indian memorabilia that you’d collected from the Indian village. Going to the Indian village with you in the Florida Everglades.

Avon jewelry, Scarabs, stacks of stickers, vintage aprons and fabrics, Barbie’s, genuine turquoise, old Merl jewelry boxes filled with brooches and rings. I recall all of your plushes, and AVON colognes lined up on both of your vanities.

Lucky rabbits feet filled in old glass vases. Garfield Memorabilia, and vintage quilts galore! The 19” black and white TV playing your soap operas throughout the summer days.
I know there was so much more!

You were more then an aunt to me Aunt Edie. You were a girlfriend and mother figure as well.

I remember you outside catching lizards with me and teaching me about them, in detail.

I remember when we had our families living together in the big pink house, which you officially named The Pink Mansion.
I remember going to school and telling people that I lived in a big pink mansion!

I remember the day that you taught me how to do laundry. And how you don’t need to separate the whites from the colors if you buy second hand, you said. Why? Because all of the dye had already left.

I remember your laugh. I remember you telling me that the laundry soap ALL, was the best, and superior to Tide. But it was nearly five dollars a gallon. Very expensive!

I remember home work you helped me with after school. Paper mache’.
Playing dress up with me and doing my makeup.
Teaching me to braid my hair, and yours!
Letting me brush your super long hair and putting it up in that one and only barrette you had.

Then not getting mad at me when I stole your barrette at age 9, and gave it back to you ten years later. Silly me, thinking by wearing it, I would become you.

I remember your gold puffy heart necklace that was your favorite. I remember you telling me it’s better to love a thousand times, then to remain reserved and alone, for fear of a broken heart. I remember the look in your eyes.

I remember calling you and asking you how you get your hair so blonde, and you telling me that you bleach it.

I remember buying Clorox bleach and going home and pouring it over my head in the sink while mom was at work, and having my hair fall out. Calling you crying, wondering what I did wrong.

You told me that it is hair color bleach, not Clorox, and telling me how much fun it’s going to be wearing wigs to school. And for me to rinse my hair at the sink for a hour. I did!

And yes, It was fun wearing a wigs to school until my hair grew back.
I remember hearing mom on the phone yelling at you for not explaining the difference.

I remember you sneaking me special snacks that you reserved for yourself, but shared with only me. Chocolate covered Caramels, Jelly beans and Slim Jim’s.

I remember how you’d make grocery shopping fun! And telling me that it is an honor to shop for your family. I remember when you bought me that animal print bikini that mom wouldn’t buy me and letting me wear it at the community pool when mom was at work. I remember onlookers asking me if I was Debbie Gibson, and me feeling so shocked that they thought I looked like her.

I remember watching The Shining movie, and you telling me I may have nightmares. I did. And I still occasionally do…

Staying up late on school nights watching Green Acres , Patty Duke, and Father Knows Best.
Teaching me to make my own jewelry.
Shopping for broomstick skirts and cowboy boots.
Walking around the mall for hours upon hours.
Reading romance novels to me.
Teaching me with Uncle B, to fish for Bass in the lake, and telling me to not disturb the alligators while they were sunbathing, just six feet away.

Teaching me about breeding animals.
Calming me down when I use to be scared of all the iguanas that lived under your place. I remember your love for motor cycles and bad boys!

Giving your doves a shower before the magic shows.
Performing in a magic show.
Playing hide and seek in the dark.

I remember how you would get up early to make me fried egg sandwiches before school, and they were the best in the world. The cheese always melted to perfection.

I remember you
talking me out of having an Abortion as a teenager. Oh that was an emotional day!
I will always remember Your love for animals and babies. Just like Grandma.
Being there for me during my teen pregnancy, when no one else was.

I remember how much you loved paper mache , and taking ceramic classes and making mom that big black panther and 3-D looking lion planter.

I remember the large macramé, plant hanging things you would make. They were so beautiful!

I loved watching you create beautiful things Auntie.

I remember the year you forgot about Christmas! You were always so busy doing things and living life to its fullest, right where you were planted. Even through all of the storms.

I remember your record player set up in the hallway and you singing to country music, while dancing in your broomstick skirt and cowboy boots.

Always, always, telling me how proud you are of me. And how special I was to you. And had you had a daughter, you wanted her to be me.

I remember the day I asked my mother if I really was her daughter because I felt like you were my mother. I remember mom telling me how you use to date my father, but no, I was not your daughter, sorry.

I remember going to Hollywood with you to a fancy macrobiotic seminar, and you telling me that you had cancer and had to eat clean from now on, so no more chocolates. I remember not knowing what that meant, but asking if you were going to die. You said of course not honey.

I remember you always buying a bag of ice each day for your husbands bar. I remember asking you why he didn’t by his own ice.

I remember you getting out of your green Vega car in the pouring rain to make everyone sandwiches, because you were not going to let a thunderstorm ruin our Memorial Day Picnic.

I watched you from the car window and can remember how your long blonde hair was drenched down your back..over your pink, terry cloth romper…Never complaining about, well, anything.

At 21, I remember you raiding my closet and trying on my dresses, because you had lost weight and were able to fit in all my clothes. I remember you dancing to Madonna with me wearing my clothes. I remember you making a Madonna, Halloween costume and having it win at the party.

I remember you telling me the cancer was back, but it wasn’t your time yet. And for me to not worry.

This time I knew what that meant.

I remember moving to Florida later that year. I remember the day you took me to your church, and were wearing a prom dress that was mine, wanting to sparkle that day, not caring what onlookers would think of say.

I remember you pointing out your boyfriend in the church choir, and then a moment later you fainting next to me. Someone called 911 and I rode in the ambulance with you frantically scared.

At the hospital I thought you were going to die, and I couldn’t control my emotions. I remember crying over you, while someone saying that they will have to cut the blue prom dress off of you and you mumbling, “NO! It’s too pretty to cut” And that it belongs to your niece.

Aunt Edie, I still have that dress. And I have pictures of all my girls in it.

Oh Aunt Edie, the list can go on and on.
You meant the absolute world to me.
I only wish we had lived in the same state during my marriage and mommy of many years. I just know that my kids would have bonded with you just like I did.

It has been four days since your passing. I’ve been reflecting on everything you taught me on what was really important in life. People and giving them your time. Making everyone feel special.

I will cherish you the rest of my life and I hope I have become all that you were and more, as a Christian.
Until we meet again….

I love you Auntie. ❤️


Turning 50 next week!

What do you want for your birthday, DH asked.
New bag? Perfume?
Fancy dinner?

I didn’t need to think about it.

“No, none of the above. I replied.”

The truth is, I’d LOVE to be sitting in my living room with my five children for hours on end, playing Monopoly with them. Just like when they were younger.

THAT, is on the very top of my list. My heart.

Maybe on my 60th?”

Hmm, so Instead,

I’d take a….

  1. A lingering stroll in a park for fun, not exercise.
    Stopping to examine Gods creation.
    3.Sitting at Pilot Mountain, breathing in the fresh air and watching the birds fly by.
  2. Maybe, wading in the waterfalls. But it’s much to cold this time of year.
    5.Sitting on my porch rocking chair, and just staring off in the distance.
    6.Reading into the night without watching what time it was, or worries about the next days tasks.
    7.Sleeping until noon. Coffee and a Western omelette in bed.
    8.Waking to a clean house because it was clean the night before.

These are the little things that bring me Joy.
And the best part is, you can’t put a price tag on them.

I have experienced so much heart break in my life, and at fifty, I have come to realize it’s made me who I am today. I love hard, and feel all the feels, and had I not given my life to Christ when I did, I know I would have never seen fifty. So when I wake up on my birthday I will be praising the Lord wholeheartedly.

Conversations October 10, 2022


Cashier to me:
“How are you doing this evening?”

Me: “Good, and you?”

Cashier: “Amazing! My husband finally left me. I’ve been waiting fifteen years. Finally, at 62, he’s gone. I wake up happy every day now.”

Lady behind me: “You too huh? Mine asked me for a divorce and I screamed YES! I was hoping he’d leave for years. So much better being single at 56.

Cashier: “I’ve beat cancer twice, and now with my husband gone, I can really start enjoying life and not having to put up with him. Life is amazing!”

Lady behind me to me: “Yes, life is much better in the later years being single.
How old are you? Are you married? Happily?”

Such an odd conversation. 😳

Is it 2023 yet?

Or maybe 2020 again? Can I stay home and do nothing please? What happen to my slow living journey? I want it back. Oh yes, life! 😅

My daughters wedding is in less then two months away. The wedding shower is a month a way. So much planning is involved, and I want it to be perfect. It will not be Pinterest perfect, because that is out of my means, but I’d at least like it to be something that takes her breath away.

Honestly though, I had no idea how much goes into an actually one hundred guest wedding. Who knew? I certainly did not. And when I think about other countries wedding customs and partying for a week straight, it’s exhausting to think about. Slow living will do that to anyone. You get use to taking it slow and easy. Handling one thing at a time. Slowly. Carefree.

Next week we will be moving my daughters things into her new house. The house closes next week. And they really did get the house of their dreams. It is just perfect.

There are so many changes happening at once and I thing I’m going a bit stir crazy. I really want to have a couple weeks of not leaving the house or working. I guess this is what happens in mid-life.

Actually, I take that back. While it’s not empty yet, I see the next five years, and while most people who become empty nesters look forward to a life of going here and there. Perhaps doing everything they had put on the back burner to raise a family…

Ha! No thank you. I do not care about going here or there. I’ve found my contentment in life.

Currently, I just don’t want to leave the house. I want to do, well, nothing. Maybe doing nothing would get boring after a few months, but I’m up for the challenge.

I always assumed that life would become easier when my kids got older. It doesn’t! It just gets busier. Life was easier when all the kids were younger. Go figure?!

I think it could do with my midlife lack of energy. I feel my energy levels dwindling by the month. Having to still cook so much, I’ve managed to get off Keto again and I’m guessing that is making my mind grouchy and foggy.

It really sucks! And when we are home, all I want to do is sleep, because quality sleep seems like a luxury my age.

Okay, I guess my semi-rant is over. I’m just so tired and don’t want to burden anyone with my feelings.

Nothing is New

Written a while back but just posting now.

I woke up in such a better mood then I have been this past week.
I was praying last night before I fell a sleep for peace of mind.

This morning I felt the urge to start the book of Ecclesiastes.
I just read the whole book in one sitting.

This time in the Contemporary English translation; that is not word for word, but phrase by phrase. I am still a KJV reader, but I had never heard of the CET, and wanted to see how it read.

What I was reminded of, is nothing is new just forgotten.
And the more we know, the more we suffer.
Hence, why I stay away from certain platforms and broadcasts.

It made me start thinking about a documentary that I bypassed a few months ago while channel
surfing. I watched the first few minutes, in shock.
It was about a resort in New York for the more colorful people to party.
I think it was called Cherry Grove. It first opened in the 50’s. I am not sure why, but that shocked me. I guess I have lived a more sheltered life then I thought.

Stuff like that is completely out in the open nowadays, so this is why it appears to be everywhere. Online, TV shows. Each time you leave the house, you are bombarded with all the Notice me! See me! Type of individuals. I truly believe these people just love the shock value.

But, what if it’s not everywhere? What if that is the illusion of it all.
What if it’s just that nothing is new, and it’s just all we notice nowadays because people are loud, and want attention.

Nothing is private. Nothing is shameful.
It appears to all be new, but it is not new. It is just out in the open.

Scripture says that nothing is new, and the more we know, the more we suffer.
Why? Because we have morals and DO feel shame when sin is glorified.
People say we are living in the days of Noah. But I bet we have been in the days of Noah since the fall.

Just thinking out loud today.

Life Update

Living with Chronic Pain has become so much harder lately. I know, many people live life, on the daily in chronic pain. It’s no wonder we have an opioid pandemic here in the USA. 22% in the USA alone, apparently. With modern medicine the way it is, why do we not have any other choice, other then masking the pain with a pill that tells our brain that we have no pain.

I started feeling pain throughout my body back in 2016. It started after I was diagnosed with thyroid disease. I don’t remember if it’s the hypo or hyper, but it’s the one where it’s nearly impossible to lose weight without starving myself.

That said, since Covid, I had lost 80lbs. Recently, I have gained 10lbs back. It’s very frustrating. Back to carb free living. I will be able to get back on track after the wedding.

For the most part, I suffer silently. The last thing people want to hear about is your pain. Mental, or physical. It has never bothered me personally listening to people share their pain, but I am aware that it’s not a topic people feel comfortable listening too, so I just don’t bring it up. Right up there with Politics, Money, and Religion. Also, topics that I don’t mind hearing people discuss.

I think having worse knee pain then before my knee surgery now, eight months later, along with back pain, I’m just at a point where I’m upset over it. Hence talking about it…

I just joined the gym again last week, and I am trying to force myself to swim and exercise 3x a week. It’s insanely difficult.

The hot tub always feels amazing for body pain (while you are soaking), but they never reopened the steam room, since Covid.

Speaking of Covid. I have had it three times now. All my kids have had it except for one of my daughters, which seems to be immune to it. She’s around it almost on the weekly. Her BF and friends have all had it, and she hangs out with them and just doesn’t catch it. Amazing!

I have recently hung out with someone who had it, and also didn’t catch it.

What else has been happening?

My slow living has for the most part, ceased. Not happy about that at all!

Something else I want to get back on track. I swear the Art of slow living should be a priority for everyone. There is something so life altering about living at a slow pace, doing things unbothered and Unrushed. Living in Slow motion. Maybe it’s because I’m turning fifty this year, but age is beautiful! A realization and feeling that this life is just temporary. Enjoying the grass under your feet. The sun on your face. The bird that flies by. Speaking of birds. I bought a ring that is a hummingbird feeder. I’m on the porch each day waiting for the hummingbirds to trust me. I have so many in the yard, and I know that one day soon, one will trust me enough to hand feed it.

I am Currently reading the book, The Art Of Rest.
Apparently they have this book in all the hotel rooms in Bali.
I was intrigued, so I bought it. It’s just taking me longer to read, due to lack of time that I have to read.
I don’t remember the last day that I didn’t need to leave my house. I long for the olden days… days upon days of being home.

Planning a big wedding has been amazing, and exhausting at the same time. If that makes sense.
I really had no idea what was all involved, having eloped, myself.
Still a huge fan of people eloping I think!
I think it’s because of my lack of organization skills that I once had.
If I was not working from my house and I had a supersized outdoor building I think there would be less chaos, for sure.
Having an online store of five thousand items, is bound to be chaotic. Everything is in bins, but is around me.
Not to mention my three daughters online stores and all of their belongings.. that said,
I would never want a brick and mortar store though. Nothing beats working from home. I just miss things being pretty, and orderly. Once my daughter moves in a couple of months, I will have a free bedroom to use as a work room. I see order in the near future.

Lastly, I plan to get back to funny conversation blogs soon. I have heard some interesting ones lately. And have been involved in many myself. Maybe it’s with age, or just because of how I dress and my goofy smile, but I’m still approached on the daily, while out and about.. I left social media to not have so many peoples conversations in my head space, but they really are all still there. Just in person now. Lol

Living through Three Generations

Living through 3 Generations

This has been on my mind over the past year.
Somewhat exciting, as I’m still alive, but also depressing, as things are changing so fast.
I am reminded that the days are long, but the years are short.

Are we all just more in tune with the rapidly changing world, or did our ancestors also feel this way, but they didn’t voice it.

Personally, I refer to the Good Old Days as growing up in the eighties. Alas’ I am sure the generation before me thinks of their generation as the Good Old Days. And so forth.

The nineties were also good.
Raising kids through y2k was also good, yet this new world that has produced this current generation is not so good. In my opinion of course. Many people think it’s great!

I hear phrases such as, Look how far we gave come. It’s so wonderful! And I silently think, REALLY?

I have now been a mother more then half of my life. My two oldest kids are very different from my three youngest, growing up as Gen Z. They are not as worldly as most, but they are a product of this current, wreck of a world we are all now in.
Times have really changed.
People have changed.
This world has changed.
It has become so foreign to me.

Despite removing myself entirely from social media seven years ago, I see how different this world is, even from seven years ago.
They say that nothing is new and history repeats it self. But having lived through three generations, this has been by far, the worse one yet.
No one cares about anything or anyone.

There is no right or wrong.

Anything goes.

Heck, people do not even know what sex they are.

This new world demands for us all to accept everything and everyone, and yet; it is void of all Love. God is Love.
The demand for acceptance has breeded a world full of hate, confusion, and disorder.

It sometimes makes me sad and depressed to think about, to be honest. But then I am quickly reminded on how it ends. God allows everything to happen for his purpose and glory, so I will continue to praise him in the storm.

Travel Time Again

It’s that time of the year again. We are planning a road trip. South Carolina, Savannah,Georgia, and then to St. Petersburg and Tampa Florida.

I have no clue why hotels have nearly doubled, so we are looking for a cottage to rent. Much cheaper.

I plan to do some Thrifting along the way, so hopefully I will have some more interesting conversations to share. Yes. Yes. I know it’s wrong to be sharing other peoples conversations for entertainment. 🤪

What else? We are off to try to find my daughter some prom shoes today, once the exterminator leave. She has two proms this year. Hence, two gowns and two pairs of shoes. She already bought two dresses. One is an ANTHROPOLOGIE and the other is a Ted Baker. Both pink!

I thrifted these really cool Nikes last night.

Size 8.5 I can’t wait to list them! They even came with their dust bag. I guess everyone is getting new tennis this time of year, as I’ve been finding so many good ones. Last week I found some mens Nike Air Force 1’s. I also found some Women’s Tods, that already sold. Lots of Cowboy boots with the Good year tire soles. Too bad no prom shoes.

I have started sourcing from Jomar this past month.

When I first started reselling, back in 1999, I sold toys and antiques. There is still a high demand for both, but my interests have changed, and I need to enjoy my work.

It’s so nice to find a source that delivers, that’s actually good. Currently I’m waiting for a hat box to arrive. When I thrift locally, I’m looking for bras, swimwear, nightwear, purses, quilts, and designer items. I’m fading away from hard-goods, as they are harder to flip and take up too much room. Not to mention wrapping breakables and hoping that they arrive in one piece.

I guess that is it for now.

It Has Begun

Construction 🚧

The eighteen acres smack in front of our house has been sold off to builders and they are ripping up the trees to build thirty-Seven houses.

The noise feels like city life. I expect there too be construction noise for the next year.

They can’t take six of our trees, which looks super weird. One big oak, and some smaller pines.

We had several persimmon trees that my kids grew up with, now gone. Feels sad, but life must go on.