I spent three hours at the nail salon yesterday.
I thought it would be a nice relaxing visit.
I was wrong.
Man talking to the lady giving him his pedicure:
“I went to school with the lady but never met her. Found her in my year book though. We had a virtual high school reunion a while back and got to talking. I flew here to meet. We are going out tonight, which is why I’m getting my feet in shape.”
Lady: “So nice. You will have a good time. You going to move here?”
Man: “I don’t know. I have been in Tampa, Florida for thirty years now.”
Me: “Tampa is beautiful. I was just down there visiting my mom a few months ago.”
Man: “Where does your mom live?”
Me:” St Pete. I took my kids to Tampa to site see. We went to the aquarium and the battle ship. And I was able to point out those mega mansions over on the island. That is where the Buccaneers live, supposedly.”
Man: “Yes, my neighbors. I live on that island.”
Lady working on his feet: “So you have mansion too?”
Man: “I did well for myself. Retired five years ago and mostly travel now.”
Lady:”Maybe you will marry this lady you went to high school with and you bring her to your mansion. Or you sell and move here to be with her.”
Me:”Don’t sell your house. If it works out with your friend, she will want to move there.”
Then we all laughed.
Two very loud women walk in with a little boy.
Lady 1: “Is there someone in this joint to fix my dam* nail?”
Worker: “You sit and we take care of you in a bit.”
Lady 2: “I want a gel set!”
Worker: “You sit too.”
Lady 2:”This candy free?”
Opens container on the counter to take a full size Twix candy bar out to give to her grandson.”
Worker: “No $1 for candy.”
Lady 1: “Nah, it’s free. Where’s the dam* remote control. No one wants to listen to The Voice in here!”
Turns to the row where I’m soaking my feet.-
“You wanna listen to the Voice?”
Me:”I don’t care what’s on.”
Lady 1: “Okay, let’s put my password in and hook up Philo. There. Imma gonna leave my information in your TV so you can have something good playing.”
Lady doing the man next to me feet- “Sorry”
Man: “They are not from here I bet.”
Little boy runs up to where we are sitting and says hello.
Both ladies scold him.
Lady 1 to boy:”I know you miss your mom baby, but she’s dead and never coming back.”
Me: “What???”
Lady 2: “His mom killed herself a few months back. Drugs. My oldest son Is doing the best he can.
Moved here to get away from the drama.”
Me: “New York?”
Ladies: “How’d you know. I’d move back in a hot minute, but our two bedroom that was only $1500 a month in 2020, went up to $2800 a month. Hate this place! Mainly the schools. They don’t let you fight it out like back home.”
Lady 2’s phone rings.
“What the H*** do you want me to do about it? Let them fight!”
Lady 2 ends the call.
Lady 1: “The school again?”
Lady 2: “Yeah. Just let them fight. What a bunch of sappy whimps they have at these schools down here.”
Lady 1 to Lady 2: “Are we getting drunk tonight or should we wait until Saturday again?”
Lady 2: “ I think we should wait until Saturday, but start earlier then last week because I was still hung over last Sunday at church. Don’t remember anything the preacher talked about.”
Lady 1: “You didn’t miss much. They mostly talked about giving. They took money for the building fund. I was asking what building fund? It’s a new church. But you know who, told me that you should always tithe to a fund so the preacher can’t get his hands on it.”
Lady 2: “Truth right there. I tell you it’s culture shock down here. I just hate it!”
Lady 2: “That’s my phone again. The school. Leave me the H*** alone!”
Lady 1: “ You are too nice. Forget about our nails, let’s go to the school and get him. Let me talk to the teacher and principal and straighten them out. Kids need to learn to fight it out for themselves.”
Lady 2 turns to me: “What do you think? Also, where you from? New York too?”
Me: “I’m From Massachusetts.” “Is he in high school?”
Lady 1: “No. across the street right over there. Middle school.”
Me: “ So fighting in middle school?”
Lady 2: “This one boy called my son a N**** and then spit on his Nikes.”
Lady 1: “So her son punched him and he gets suspended!” “Let’s leave right now so I can go take care of this once and for all!”
Ladies and little boy get up and say they will be back in a hour.
Workers all apologized to the rest of us, as the ladies that left kept cussing, too.
Then one changed the TV back to The Voice.
From North to South 