Love, Lust,Marriage, Puppy Love, Honeymoon Phase
How was that all on the same line?!
I have been thinking about relationships lately.
Mainly, because I was made aware that a former pastor and his wife had divorced and the pastor is already remarried. While the wife is playing the field. Sort of speak.
They were asked to step down from their positions, naturally.
I met the two of them over a decade ago, and from that very first day I couldn’t help but be enamored with them both.
They were about the same age as my husband and I, and yet they had these unique playful qualities that I always called, the honeymoon phase. Or puppy love.
I remember watching them across the room one day…playfully flirting with each other; as if they were still teenagers.
Another lady noticed me watching them, while casually smiling.
She leaned over and said, it’s hard to believe that they have four kids and have been married since their teens…
So they were far from being newlyweds.
Yet, while looking at them.. it seemed like a Hallmark movie come to life.
I only knew them for four years, in which nothing changed.
They seemed like the most perfect couple.
In every way!
And despite everyone telling me that THAT simply doesn’t exist. (The perfect marriage.)
Being a hopeless romantic, I’d like to continue thinking differently..
This couple had a reputation of admiration among all of us married folks… for having it all together. They seemed to have the perfect balance of, well, everything.
So even though they both have moved on and are happy apart, I’m still somewhat saddened.
Which is why I’ve decided to write about it. It feels good remembering them together.
And while I didn’t know them all that well, I did see them at church several times a week, and at monthly dinner parties at the monthly, couples dinners.
And yes, I know it is not right to place anyone, or any couple, on a pedestal. I’m just sharing my memories here. ☺️
I remember a good friends husband once telling me, or perhaps warning me… to not think so highly about his wife, because she will let me down eventually. And that we are all imperfect humans, constantly letting one another down. I remember how depressing that sounded tone at the time. As I’ve grown up, I realize how true that statement really is.
As stated, I was never all that close to the pastor and his doe eyed wife, but I had always wondered what their magic antidote was for sustaining a marriage that clearly remained in the honeymoon stage.
Was it because they both worked a lot and so that the time that they did spend together was valued.
That’s what I’ve always thought, up until now.
Sometimes I think about arranged marriages, and how they choose to love someone.
Naturally, they do not marry for love.
I once knew someone who had an arranged marriage. It really fascinated me because that would have never been something I myself, could have ever partook in.
I always enjoyed lengthy conversations with her on the phone telling me how love should be a choice, not a feeling. That the feeling part was called lust.
And the choosing to love your spouse, was much like our love for Christ.
It was a beautiful thought..
I remember asking her about sexual relations. Yes, We had a very open conversation one evening. *blush*
Does this mean that love and sex are two separate things, I recall asking her opinions on.
Is this why so many couples cheat, yet still claim to love their spouse, because sex has nothing to do with love. And vise Versa.
And the answer was, from the religious stand point, No.
But for the rest of the population, Yes, that is precisely what it means.
People have sex all the time that are not in love. We all know this.
Then there are people that love each other, but don’t have sex. She shared.
It’s an interesting topic, non the less.
So even though the former pastor and his now ex, are both very happy with their new lives…I will always remember the fire in their eyes when they looked at one another.
Because In my personal opinion, it was, and is the definition of a special kind on love.