Things I gave learned in my 40’s

Things I gave learned in my 40’s:

1. Knee/sciatica pain is a real thing.

2.The handicap bathrooms railings are there for a reason.

3.Urinary incontinence caused by back pain is an actually thing.

4.Chiropractors help reset your well being in a way where modern doctors can not.

5. Maintenance requires surgeries and you don’t need to suffer.

6. Monthly Mani and Pedis and self-care are game changers to how you mentally feel at times.

7. Drink and eat things you don’t like, simply because they are good for you.

8. Learn to have a filter, if you don’t want your words taken the wrong way.

9. Let people be who they are, but remove yourself from them if it changes who you are.

10. Busyness is inevitable if you want to have a productive life.

11. Be still and let things happen, because things always have a way of working out.

12. I’m more confident now then I have ever been in my life, and it feels Amazing!

13, Jesus has never failed me is my rock & salvation.

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Complaining

I have officially grown up. Or have I?

I hate complaining! On either end.

Or, maybe it’s because I don’t have any negative people in my life anymore. 

I grew up with a parent that complained none-stop. I hated it then, but still managed to become an adult and copycat what I knew. I was an avid, daily complainer for years.

 

I then managed to surround myself with friends and family members who loved to complain. Or maybe they didn’t love it, but it was just a part of who they were. 

When I realized this, I started immediately praying about it and came to the conclusion, that for me, and my sanity, I simply could not be around people who complained non-stop.

I realize in this life you will complain sometimes, but it really should not be a daily thing. Negativity breeds negatively.

This brings me to last night.

I complained. A whole lot.

Today I’m questioning whether it was beneficial or not. Probably not.

I can see if you are out to dinner and receive  the wrong order, etc. Then yes, by all means, complain. Bring it to the servers attention.

But this was not the case last night.

My son mentioned to me that someone took his Easter eggs that were filled with candy and money. The church had a egg hunt.

Then earlier in the day one of my daughters was mentioning how some of her friends parents are very racist. She told me a few stories.

Another daughter mentioned that they no longer have prayer requests in her youth group. After I reminded her to add a friend to their prayer list.

So by the time we all got into the car and my son seemed disappointed, while telling me about the missing eggs, I just had enough.

I had been wanting to ask one of the youth leaders (There are four)  if they needed any food donations for the kids anyways. So why not tackle it all.

I went back into the church and found one of the youth leaders and just complained to her. I started with the stolen eggs.

Not that it was a huge deal, but more of a…. Why can’t these kids being watched more carefully. I didn’t say that. But I admit, I was thinking it.

Several months ago my youngest mentioned that it was hard to concentrate on the Bible lessons, due to some of the kids swearing Around her.

I had asked another daughter about it, and she said that pretty much, everyone swears there. The kids I mean.

Kids are cussing at church.

Why has this never been addressed?

I get it, no one likes a tattletale. But I don’t want it around my kids if I can help it. And I was the teacher, I would be saying something to their parents.

So the last time I complained to a youth leader was about the swearing. (Same leader as last night)

I realize, like school teachers, they are limited in what they can say. But why not have lessons about using words that glorify the Lord?! Isn’t there anyway that this can be addressed. I know kids swear, but I’m it not be at church?

Likewise, give lessons about theft and racism.

Getting back to last night, it was late and my words were all over the place. Per usual.

I know the leader wanted to get home herself, and probably did not appreciate me holding her up with a complaint, no less.

I asked her about the stolen eggs, and I think it  came out, more so, as….my kid has no treats now. Which was not my issue at all. She mentioned several times that she’d replace his loss, And she really didn’t think they were taken on purpose.

After that I mentioned about the racism. I mentioned that maybe there should be some lessons on theft and racism, seeing as these kids are our future.

That was taken the wrong way and she thought I was saying that my sons eggs were taken because he was white and is the minority.

Which also is not the case. 😔

It was a mess, and I’m feeling  just awful today, Thinking back on the conversation that was not thought out, on my behalf.

To make it worst, I left without even asking about the donations that I wanted to give.

I texted her after we arrived home  and have not heard back. So here it is, noon the next day and I feel like I me off as the type of person that I try to stay away from.

Had I chosen my words more carefully and waited a few days.. Things nay have been different. I’m not sure what to do next.

Not husband would say… Nothing. Just don being it up again and make it awkward.

 

 

 

 

 

North vr’s South

I have written so many North, versus South, posts in my day, but it has been a while. 

I’ve noticed another difference, so wanted to share. 

Vacations:

Growing up in North, when we took a vacation, we were always allowed to invite a friend with us. After all, The more the merrier! 

Likewise, when my friends would take their family vacations, I was always invited to go. 

Didn’t matter where, aquarium, zoo, circus, across the state, or to a different state. 

Even to Canada! My mon didn’t allow me to go to Canada though. 

Since spending the last 10+ years down South, this is just hot the case.

I have never thought about it until today, when one of my daughters asked me why she is never invited on her friend’s vacation, while we always allow the our kids to invite a friend. 

I asked her to ask her friends. Not in a demanding way… Or making her friends feel weird. Just ask and stop wondering. 

She did, and her friend/s did not mind being asked at all she said. In fact, one told her that she always asks, but her parents say no. 

Just family on vacations. These families are from the South. 

I have another daughter, my youngest, who always gets invited by one family to go on their yearly family vacations. 

In fact, that daughter is at the beach right now, with her friend’s family, on their vacation. 

However, that family is not from the South. 

So in learning, it is not the kids, it’s their parents. 

Kids want to experience life and make memories with their friends. Even on vacations. 

But Southern parents have a rule, family only. 

I suppose this is why there are so many movies devoted to family vacations, where the kids are, in most cases, miserable. 

I’m actually not a fan of these sort of movies. I  that sometimes family vacations should just be that. Family. But why all the time? Especially if the kids would like to invite a pal. 

Personally, I still stand, the more the merrier!

Why not let our kids enjoy themselves and bring friends along too. 

When you have a Cold

I caught a cold last week and it’s hanging on for dear life. The only thing that has been making me feel better physically, at least for a few hours, has been a clove if garlic with raw honey. I’ve been taking five cloves a day. I’m so use to it now, it’s like candy. And my family says I don’t smell like garlic, so that is good news.

I know some people stink if they only have one clove. 😬

I read that of you take enough garlic, it’s a pain reliever, and I believe I’ve taken enough, because my back pain has almost ceased.

Since my surgery last year my back has been a huge ordeal to hassle through. I’ve been having to wear a corset like device when I’m out sourcing for hours on end.

…..

This takes me to feeling better mentally.

There are several things I like to do when I’m almost better, to make me feel mentally better.

It generally revolves around the phrase, “Look Good, Feel Good”.

It starts with a hot shower and shaving. I use Veet or Nair to shave, and I open a fresh bar of soap. (The lemon or rose scented ones from Marshall’s)

I then use my PDM on my face, Or Dermaroll…ending with a pore cleaning face mask.

Makeup is the last thing on my mind when I’m sick, so I just use a brown sugar lip scrub and my Sarah Happ Lux Lip Balm. I then slather a moisturizer on. (Neutrogena Oil Free Day)

This all takes about a hour. Not long at all! But by then I’m ready to get back to napping.

When I wake up I put Nivea cream on my hands and feet. If I didn’t recently get a mani & pedi, then I do one or the other. I generally don’t have the energy to do both, or I would.

I then put jewelry on. I know! Why bother?

But for me, looking down at pretty rings on my fingers or favorite bracelet on my wrist makes me smile. In order to feel better mentally, while being alone, I do whatever makes me smile. 🙂

And whether I am sick or not, I’m a feeler type of woman, so if I take care of myself, I feel better. Mentally of course.

I realize that these things do not work for everyone.

And I can’t imagine doing these things the first couple days of being sick.

Those first couple days are for not showering, sleeping, drinking tons of tea and water and taking whatever you have to, to feel human. 😏

But once I start to feel somewhat Better physically, that’s when I have the urge to feel better outwardly. For myself. I don’t leave the house when I’m sick. I even cancelled a doctors appointment for my RA today. I’m still not 100%, so I’m not going out.

What are some ways that you make yourself feel better when you are sick?

Going Brunette For A Year

This was actually an accident, but I decided to just go with it.

I went off to buy my usual auburn hair color at a discount store, Ollie’s.

I need to cover up my grays every few weeks now. *sigh*

Anyhoo, I noticed the L’Oréal box had been taped up, but paused for only a moment to make the observation, before tossing it in my cart.

I got home and opened it, only to find that it was a totally different brand of hair color. Clairol, Nice & Easy.

I could not find the color name or number on the tube, so decided to just go for it! I mean why not?! I’m adventurous!

As soon as I mixed the color I noticed it was definitely not my usual color. But while mixed, it definitely didn’t look black.

I put it all over my head, and set the timer for 35 minutes.

My kids came out to where I was sitting, and gave me a strange look. My daughter asked me to go look in the mirror..

And then…

Woah! Wowser!

This was different. I began to rinse it out and then noticed that this was not just black, this was Jet Black! I went ahead and blew dry it.

I couldn’t desire whether I looked more like Elvira or the lady from the Munsters…

I panicked before thinking that this could be fun. I’ve been blonde, Brown, before…

Of course most of my life I’ve been Red, so I have never felt like myself with any other color…

I’m on day three. I dyed my eyebrows to match last night. (Picture two) yes, they need to fade some.

Somehow, the red brows were not making me feel like I could pull this brunette business off, as natural.

I still feel not so natural. And getting ready in the morning takes twice as long, because being so white again, requires more makeup with this hair. But other then that, it’s been fine.

I defined feel as people are more friendly.

We will see how it goes…

#thelittlethings 😊

Family Sayings

My oldest daughter recently brought to my attention that our family has too many made up sayings.

I rename a lot of things. I’m not sure why. I know their real names, but since the kids were little I renamed many things, and now that they are older they have went off in the world with all these made up worlds that have everyone confused.

Yes, they know the correct words also, but since they have heard me call certain things, certain names for so long… it’s become hard to drop my cutesy sayings. Or so I’m told.

1. Our SUV is called The Tank.

So when my daughter is walking out of the mall with her friends, or church, she points to our vehicle and says, “There’s the tank!”

No one around her knows what she is referring too.

2. Hand sanitizer is know as Germ Killer.

Again, when my kids ask the teacher or one of their friends for hand sanitizer, they refer to it as Germ Killer.

3. Snacks are referred to as Fun Food.

When the kids ask their friends if they would like fun food, their friends ask what that is?! Lol

3. Then there is coming home and changing into your pajamas.

I have always said, “time to get cozy, cozy.”

And that means get ready for bed.

Again, when my daughters are having sleepovers and they ask their friends if they would like to get Cozy,Cozy….They get some odd looks from their friends.

I think this all started when the kids were toddlers. We had a fire place that I use to refer to as The Hot One.

I would tell the kids to be careful and not play near The Hot One.

It was very cute to see my little girls point to the fire and say Hot! Hot One!

But now it’s not as cute when my teens ask me to pass them their iPad…or drink, on THE HOT ON.

4. Laundry is referred to as Chores.

The kids have several chores. (Dishes, feed animals, vacuum) But laundry specifically, is referred to as Chores.🤔

5. Our House is referred to as, The Fort.

I can think of so many other ones we have, but have shared enough for now.

Does your family have any special names for anything?

December

This year has been life changing.

Spiritually and Physically.

Everything has changed. Some bad and some good.

I have increased my work load so much, but it doesn’t feel like work because I love it so much.

I’ve succeeded and surpassed this years work goals from last year and God willing, I’m hoping 2019 it will triple.

I have all three kids on Computer school which has been a bit of an adjustment, but well worth it. I start working right after breakfast. And twice a week I source. I never thought I’d go back to a routine, but it’s working, so I’m on board.

I’m back to 100% from my surgery and am praying about another surgery or next year. My sons healing from his accident and surgery, and has another month of physical therapy to go. He is planning on getting his first job in February. I’m hoping for it to be at Subway, which was where I started at his age. His 14yr old sister just opened up her online store, so I’ve also been helping her with that. DH has got a side hustle that he’s been very into, so everyone has been busy. One more Birthday to go, and that will be during our Beach trip. My youngest is turning twelve. I just can’t believe it. I sometimes wish I can turn back time. I just want to sit at the table and do crafts with the kids all day… but that ship has sailed. They all have phones and we sit around sharing funny videos and memes instead.

All my Christmas shopping is done and I’m hoping time will allow me to wrap it all this week. I have a couple doctors appointments this week though, so we will see how I feel.

Here is a picture of last weeks Ugly Christmas Sweater party outfit.

Everyone told me it was not ugly though, so needless to say, I didn’t win the $50.

In conclusion

While a lot of things have changed this year, and almost nothing has stayed the same, I know I’m in Gods will and he’s got my back, as well as my families and friends.

My Faith has grown so much, and I simply can’t ask for anything more then that.

Scoliosis

Well, when it rains it pours. Or so the saying g goes.

Besides recovering from my surgery this past month and being diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Degenerative Arthritis this year…. I just received a letter from my doctor that stated I have Scoliosis.

I seem to recall getting checked at school for it in the forth grade, and my mom shrugging it off. I was only checked that one time by the school nurse I think.

Needless to say, had I been given a brace to wear back then, it may have been corrected. From what I’m told now. But what’s done is done, and none of these things are life threatening.

I’m now two weeks into my Celebrex and Cymbalta and feeling better each day.

The most positive thing has been sleeping better. I went from waking six times a night to only waking once a night. I wake up by 7 now, feeling refreshed. I generally turn in by 11, or 12. Opposed to 2 or 3am.

Weekly Meds Update

Weekly Update on Medication:

It has been one week since I have started my Fibromyalgia meds.

The first day I felt no difference, obviously.

Second day as well.

By the third day I had less aches and pains.

Still the same mentally.

By the forth day I woke up at 6am, having went to bed at midnight, and I felt refreshed in the morning. Something I never feel unless I drink three cups of coffee.

I got out of bed with no aches or pains.

I went grocery shopping and felt a bit of pep in my step.

The fifth day I felt all around better.

Physically and mentally. I woke again at 6am.

The sixth day (yesterday) I felt a bit crampy.

I was on the kitchen floor most of the day taking shoe pictures for work. That did my back in, and I felt back and leg pain until bedtime.

This brings me to this morning.

I work again early and refreshed. Pain is gone.

I take both medications in the morning upon waking.

My Cymbalta (30mg) I take with my tea. Then I wait a hour and take my Celebrex (100mg)with a bite of granola bar. I tried twice on an empty stomach and it made me nauseous.

I started intermittent fasting last month, and I am still on that journey, as I am

continuing to lose weight. I am down 30lbs so far.

I thought I’d save you the Google, for those that don’t know what these medications are for. Personally, I’m taking both for Fibromyalgia. But they also treat a few other things.

Cymbalta is used for chronic pain; fibromyalgia; anxiety; back pain, and chronic fatigue syndrome.

Celebrex is a NSAID, like Advil or Aleve. It’s just stronger. It is used for arthritis, acute pain, menstrual pain and all around discomfort.

So there you have it. If anyone else reading this has been on either of these drugs recently, please feel free to comment, or send me your blog link if you have written about your experience. I know Celebrex had a pretty bad wrap several years ago before they changed the formula. I also know that the withdrawals that you can go through from stopping Cymbalta are pretty awful.

Currently, I am not sure how how I will be on these two.

I know out of pocket each run close to a grand a month. Thankfully my insurance is covering them in full.

Fibromyalgia

Since my surgeries I have been having back pain. I mentioned this at my six week post appointment, but my GYNECOLOGIST said that a hysterectomy does not affect your back.

Yesterday I went to see my Rheumatoid arthritis doctor and she told me that it definitely can affect your back. And that it’s tied in with nerves.

Who do I believe? I don’t know. But she sent me off for some back X-rays and I’m currently waiting for those results.(Update: Came back acceptable she said)

While I was there she diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. She told me that it is hereditary and to not Google it because I will read otherwise. This test is not through blood, which I found odd. Your doctor puts pressure on certain body parts and waits for you to say OW! or not. The doctor will also ask you if you wake up well rested or not. (I never do, and haven’t for the past six or so years)

When I was back in the car, I googled it and article after article stated that it is a form of PTSD. 🤔 Seems like everything is nowadays.

I read that stress and life traumas, trigger the pain that is associated with Fibromyalgia.

Again, what is the truth?

We will never know for certain.

Because I am leaving for a trip in a few weeks, that will have me starting my days early and ending late, I decided to treat my new found ailment with whatever means the doctor ordered for me.

I do not want to be the middle age lady that can’t keep with the rest of everyone. Especially on a trip!

So the doctor put me on Celebrex twice a day, at the lowest dose, and Cymbalta. To my surprise!

Cymbalta is generally used to treat depression, but has a side affect for treating pain associated with Fibromyalgia.

Again, she told me to not Google it, because I will read how this medication has made teens and young adults suicidal.

She assured me that teens and young adults hormones are all over place, hence the medication reacting in a negative way.

I said okay. And I told her that because I an generally a happy, go-lucky person, I’m

Pretty sure I’ll be alright. BUT the first negative, mind altering thought I get, I would call her and need to stop taking it.

That said, if it’s going to stop my daily fatigue and pain, and not alter my mood in a negative way, then I will give it a try.

I started these two medications yesterday morning.

I’m intermittent fasting, with my first meal at noon and last at 5:30, so I took the meds on empty stomach yesterday and felt very sick the rest of the day.

Then this morning I took them with a couple bites of a granola bar, and felt a bit better, but still somewhat nauseous.

I think my body will adjust though.

Up until now, the only meds I’ve only taken were for my under-active thyroid. (Armor)

We will see how this journey goes.