Part 4 or 5 –Southern Living

When we finally got in to look at our current home…we loved the open floor plan. It had a bonus room in the back that was not mentioned online and I thought it would be a great place for mom to live. The only thing was it did not have a closet. It only a built in book case. Later I ended up going to Home Depot and bought her  one that I put together in 30 minuets flat. I am not so sure mom liked it, in fact she expressed that she didn’t but we couldn’t afford a wooden one and with the low  ceilings it probably wouldn’t have fit anyways. Her cats loved sleeping in it though and that was the most important thing!


The extra room didn’t have any doors but there was a man at the church we were attending at the time offered to charge us for materials and put some French doors up for a bit over a hundred dollars.


Given I had never lived in a double wide.. I had no idea that the walls are not solid concrete and that the laminate floors were not real wood. I was clueless on so many levels.:o/


I did not like the small closets because we had large ones back home, but it was a small price to pay for all the extras that we would have.


We did not even sleep on it..We made an offer and then the agent told us he was sure that we would get it because no one ever moves to this area and the place had been on the market for 2 years already. The owner had moved out of state  back then. He said that if we offered 10 grand less then the asking price..he felt we would get it.


The offer was accepted and we got it and moved in September of 2005. The problem was we had already paid a 6 month lease on the apartment that we were in and prayed that we would get the funds back. They told us that they needed to keep one month but would refund us the other 2 months. It took a few months but we did end up getting it back..PRAISE GOD!


In October, DH drove down to Florida and got a U-haul to pull back for all moms stuff and she moved in with us for 3 months. She hated it here. She felt isolated and in her line of work they only pay $2.10 an hour. There was also no state assistance for her. Her job had no benefits and making such little money there was no way she would be able to afford insurance on her own. She was already diabetic and had high blood pressure so needed meds sooner rather then later. Evidently in the state of North Carolina you had to have a disability, not speak the language, or be over 62 to qualify for state help.


My MIL had no problems moving here and qualifying because she does not speak the language. This really irritated my mom, so along with much drama….she moved back to Florida the week after Christmas that very same year.


Months passed, and I made her room into the school room but since then made it into a nursery, and the school room is back where it started. Things did start getting to me about living here in the country. For one comes to visit and back home in the subdivision that we lived, the majority of the neighbors were my church friends and it was really easy for them to swing by for coffee or tea. I  also use to throw dinner parties all the time and down here I only heard the reply..(If you were closer dear….I’d be there.) That along with not finding a church where when you walk in the door it says “YOUR HOME” became very depressing for me. I really began to sink deep in a depression, and  then I found out I was pregnant again. This time with number five and it cheered me right up!! For a while anyway.

I started longing for my DH to say to me..Pack up..we are moving home..


Instead….DH would spend time outside on the deck, in what I witnessed as pure awwwwe. He loved it here and made sure I knew it each and every day. He would carry on about how great his job is and how much he loved the drive home from work, even though is it a good 35 minutes.


I  started verbalizing how unhappy I was down here, and my sour expression each day sure was a clue.


I started breaking down in tears almost nightly and telling DH that I need Jesus to rapture me up soon, because I’d rather be in heaven then live this misery of a life.


I felt I was just going through the motions of life, and I wasn’t finding any joy in anything I did. I abandoned all my hobbies and really felt like a sinking ship!



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