I was recently having a good conversation with someone about the loss Art of fellowship and community with one another in real life, outside the institution. (church).
It triggered me to take it a step further, and ask ten people, their thoughts on this lost art.
I have been trying to figure out, for a good amount of years, why the community and close friendships that I once had before moving down here, have some how ceased. At first, I was told the old saying, “out of sight, out of mind”, and this may be true, as I have family that I am super close with, if I am living in the same zip-code, same goes for friendships, but when one of us moves, we just stop talking, except for the occasional Holiday or Birthday greeting, to wish the other party Best Wishes!
In my mind, I always like to think of those old 1950’s black and white TV shows that portray the happy homemaker, stopping in on her next store neighbor for coffee and a danish, while talking about the kids, and swapping recipes.
Or maybe you’d see Jan hanging out her clothes, and swing on over to say hi! Maybe extend a dinner invite for the following weekend. You get the picture.
Was this all for TV ratings? A mere, and utter illusion?
Well, 8 out of the 10 people that I asked, seem to think so.
Most said that having this type of closeness between friends, was not even possible in say, the 1950’s.
A little graphic, but to be able to give you a clearer picture of this illusion, This was shared with me, in a nutshell, & paraphrased.
In the 50s, Jan is was regularly beaten and raped by her husband each day when he came home for lunch break and had no place to hide. This was before there were any domestic abuse shelters, or domestic abuse laws were in effect. She never dared complain, or tell anyone about it, except maybe her mother, which scolded her for being a whiny brat, convincing her daughter~ to grow up, be a women, & submit to her husband!
And regarding those Friday night BBQ’s, that the TV programs seem to always be having….where Bette, across the street, brought over her famous Ambrosia salad, while Peggy brought her one and only Peach cobbler…with Ted at the Grill, and Miss. Mary serving up her freshly squeezed lemonade. Ahhhhh, the Good life. Right?
In one conversation, I was quickly given a Reality Check!
~People who invited you to their Friday night BBQ’s I was told…. owned small diners, where they would not even allow “black people” in the front door, and the owner of that said, diner…. regularly forced poor poverty bound single mothers, to work there as waitresses…while forcing them to have sex in the back room with him, in order to keep their jobs.
He knew the social disapproval of their situation meant that no one else will even hire them, so he had the upper hand, before returning home to his own wife, who he then forced himself on , 1/2 drunk!
SO, what has changed?
I’ll be exploring that question in Part 2, of this installment called, “Community, The Lost Art”
Feel free to comment, and share your thoughts on this topic.