Many people can look around at everyone in their life, and realize that the people that give them the most attention and ‘appear’ as friends are in it for themselves. I’m not sure how this works for men, but for women you are only as valuable to someone by what they can get from you. Generally speaking of course…
People have a tendency to tolerate you as long as you are valuable to them. Whether it’s baby sitting their kids, buying them stuff, letting them use your car, taking them shopping and out to eat, etc.. (Pampered Chef buyer, Avon buyer, Home parties, you get the point.) When you support someones bussiness they are generally nicer to you. It goes without saying..Money Talks! Even if you are an invester, you are of value to the company in which you have invested in. Pull out, even on good terms..and you are no longer valuable.
That said, when and if these things disolve and fade away, you will only then realize that the friendship you thought you had dissolves too. Take certain churches for example. As long as you are tithing and have become a member of the ‘team’‘ — you are valuable to them. They will support you, give back to you when and if you fall short…They will pray with you and call you, if you are MIA for a couple weeks.. It truly and honestly appears that they LOVE you and genuinely care about you. Right?
For those of you that have been there before you know where this is leading…As soon as you leave the church you’re cut off 100%. I have not only expirenced this first hand before, but tend to hear this story a whole lot from friends that have left their churches. It doesn’t discriminate, and happens all over America. All those friends that you ‘thought’ you had , was nothing but a mere illusion. Why? Because you are no longer valuble to them. They are not getting anything from you. You are no longer part of the click! You are no longer supporting the cause. Yes, this is depressing at times..because churches should not be this way…but this is life and can be seen even at the work force. (I’m not just picking at churches.)
I was never one for clicks, but even in grade school I remember watching the girl that brought candy and cough drops for everyone, recieve the most attention. Then while in the bathroom, I’d hear her state how much she disliked the girls who she just shared her treats with earlier. Go figure!
Was she sharing and loving from the very depth of her heart? Did it come natural? Nope! But it sure the heck made the popular girls like her a bit more! SHE was valuable to them..In which case–Candy talked!
This stuff starts young too! I will even use myself for an example, as very few of us are immune to it..*sigh*
I was in 5th grade and Valentine’s day was right around the corner…. I saved up my allowance and bought one of those big Chocolate Hersheys Kiss’s for a boy that I thought was insanely cute! I was excited to bring it to school the next day and give it to him..My best friend at the time told me to just leave it at his desk with a note, but never being the shy type, I walked right up to him and handed it over. He smiled, thanked me, and brought it over to his desk. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen next, but imagine my surprise when during recess he handed it over to the popular girl!
I started to cry and my best friend told me the usual..Don’t be sad, he’s not worth your tears… But I was crushed! Every time I see a Hersheys Kiss, big or small…I think back on that crazy day. Some things just stick with you I guess! *G*
…After recess we all went back to class and I had to sit through the torture of listening to the popular girl tell everyone how she and him were a “thing” now…
….And that was all it took to make him become popular the remainder of the year. I guess I could have ratted on him and told her that I was the one that saved MY allowance and bought the gift, but I didn’t. They ended up being a thing for only a few months, but he did remain popular… And being the human that I was, I put plan B into motion. I saved up my allowance once more, walked up to him before class one morning and gave it all to him. What did he do? He took the cash, placed it in his pocket, and asked me if I wanted to sit next to him during lunch for the whole week! Pitiful, I know! But the important thing is that I can now look back and laugh! And yes, his popularity made me popular, and it didn’t cost much. See how that works?
Regardless, These things have been good life skills to learn early on… They have aided me to accept people as is…. And now with Christ by my side, it has become easier and easier to love people. ALL people! Sure, I still occasionally vent and have days which I complain about this person or that. But the important thing is that after the complaining and venting I am free! Free to have patience with people just as Christ has patience with each one of us.
I’m often told that this person is using me and that person is using me, and I should cut ties with people that are in it for themselves..But Why? I have had enough real life relationships to be able to know who is using me. I don’t need to be told, I’m not ignorant to it. Some people have told me that to willfully allow people to use me makes me just as sick as they are…But I disagree! People use each other for different reasons… And I believe that not everyone is out to get you..and I don’t believe trading skills and gifts are using people, while other do.
Yes, there will always be a few people who go out of their way to attack you but I believe most people want to be good…. but it’s a battle against Self. Sometimes things happen in ones childhood which shapes adult views on all future relationships. If people have been hurt time and time again then most will grow up having trust issues. It’s Classic, and happens all the time. But Christ can deliver us! All we have to do is ask. (James 4:2)
I also believe that having a personal relationship with Jesus will be the only way to transform ones-self into a selfless, kind,caring and loving person. It’s not about money, religion, social status, etc. Having money may buy you attention, affection and the illusion that you are greatly Loved…. But strip away everything that you can possibly offer someone materialisticly, and then decide who REALLY loves you. It will surprize most!
There is NO money or religion that will get you to love others and your neighbors as yourself. As stated in… (Mark 12:31)
And if you have found a way (outside of Christ) to love your neighbor as yourself, then please share!
Not everyone you meet will be honest and upfront with you…. Are they all guilty and out to get you? I think not! However, I believe that the world is large enough for us all to Coexist together. Forget about each others differences, and ask Jesus to make you start seeing people the way that he does. Hurt when they hurt, love when they love. Share each others burdens and have enough Grace & Mercy to move mountains with them..Have Compasion…
If these are areas that you fall short, ask! (Ye Have Not, Because Ye Ask Not. Matthew 7:7) And YES! This scripture needs to be lined up with Gods will but I assure you that Christs will IS for you to not only have a everlasting relationship with him, but to LOVE one another.
It takes so much effort to judge and shake your head at people..Once you allow the Lord to transform you into his image of love it will come easily. You will began loving the very people that you thought were unlovable. You will start seeing that we really are ALL the same. There is no Black or White, North/South,Yankee/Rebel, or Christian/Muslim.
YES! You read that correctly! Christianity is a religion just like Islam is a religion. Religion breeds hate! Even amoung believers… Why do you think we have so many denominations and worship centers to begin with? Division..Division!
The only way to not hate, is to love…. And the only way to TRULY LOVE is to have a real one on one relationship with the father. Jesus shouldn’t be some empty void that you pray too only when things are not going good…Christ should be someone that you talk with daily..Whether you’re having a good day or a bad day.
Recently I had a chance to be around some folks that were pretty well off…They were Atheists, and were living the American dream sorta speak..and while listening to them talk I realized that they had no interest in hearing anything to do with God… Should I have shunned them and not dined with them? Many would have, and to be truthful several years ago I would have shunned them myself. However..I accepted them with no effort on my part. I treated them as I would have treated my best friend. I know that I am uncapable to have done that on my own..But with Christ, all things are possible…(Philippians 4:13)
If God hates the same people that you do, then you are worshipping a false God.
God is Love…(Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love…. 1 John 4:8)