I don't want to compete anymore! There's nothing to Gain!

  I know this may sound like a broken record, but I am so tired of the SAH/HS movement. I suppose it’s really not much different then the working moms/public school parents who compete in materialism, regarding their children each year. Same thing, yet different. Ya know?

If you are a stay at home/home school parent then your TRUE worth will forever be, how smart your kids are and how many bible verses they can quote on que. Why the competition?

If you are a working mom and have your kids in the public school system then your worth as a parent will be how popular your kids are in school, and whether of not they have the latest fashions and fads to keep them top dog. Throw in whether of not your kid has made high honors–and that just gives more fuel to the fire during the ladies socials.

I do not understand what has happened.  I don’t think these things mattered on the Little House on the Prairie days..I didn’t get it when I was a teen either… Why can’t we just be ourselves as kids and carry it over into adulthood…being ourselves? Why is being ourselves never good enough?  It really makes me nuts, so loopy in fact, that I have to read self-help books on not being good enough..and I AM AN ADULT! Ugh!


 I found myself up against the wall a few weeks back by my Uncles wife. I like her and appreciate her advice, but did she really need to pull me a side at a party to ask me what was on my kids reading lists this year?  She is a retired high school Principal, and is now a super-intendent..She told  me that once you have a job as a Principal you never truly leave that role regarding children. She has seen a lot, heard a lot and has wiped many student  tears, she shared..

That said, she started rattling off a long list of books, asking me if my kids have read them yet. I think I actually have the same list she mentioned in fact, somewhere.  A few I have heard of but to be honest, many I hadn’t.  I only recalled about 6 that I had to read in high school myself. 

I just don’t think we should be forcing certain books on any of our children. Isn’t life about choice?   I know if I start a book that I find extreamly boring after the first couple chapters, I simply put it down.  There has been about 15 books thus far, that I have started in the past and never finished because they simply did not hold my interest. 

Early on there was Funny Farm,Catcher in the Rye, Joy Luck..something…Gerald’s Game, the  good ol’ drivers manuel(<Yes,it’s true.)and any books about war, books that go back and forth in time periods…Deathly boring to me. My opinion of course.

I won’t speak for every child, but had I been forced to  read certain books in my youth I don’t think I would have the love for reading that I have today. And I certainly would be fumed  if I had someone forcing a book  on me that I found boring. Same goes for movies, hobbies and the alike….There are a lot of things that I wish i was interested in..and many things that I pray that I will find appealing some day.

Getting back to the moral of the story…because there really is one. :o)

As I  listened to my Aunt question my book list, or lack of…which seemed to be the case.  (My kids actually do have a book  list.  However they take bits from many lists that we  have found online and cator them to fit each of their interest.)  Yes, They know that if they were in public school or college, that  they would not have this option. Just like if I am serving a food for supper that I know they do not like. I am not making them eat it. However, if they were at a friends house they would have to bite the bullet and eat what is placed in front of them. This happens many times with myself even.

She asked me why they haven’t read them all yet and began questioning their grade levels, which she was basing on their reading lists.. *G*  I then explained that WE, as homeschoolers, are NOT required to read the same books as public schooled kids. She did not believe me, as in the state of Florida it must be different.

Then came all the state test questions. You would think that I’d have a nice trusting stand-by sentence to rattle off by now but it’s been a while since I’ve had to defend my choice to home school and curriculum.

After all that, the night went rather well…

I had a couple weeks to breath…

…Up until yesterday at church..which was when Round Two rang in…


We don’t belong to a church, but do frequent a non-denom congregation in the next town over.  We are recovering IFB Baptists..

There I was after service when approached by THE FAMILY. I had instant flashbacks to my Cecilia days….Except this women only had 8 kids,  not 12. I am not really sure why I still attract these ladies, as when I was one of them, I would have never approached a lady such as myself. ( being honest!)

Don’t get me wrong I do not dress/act/ like a heathen… I still wear long skirts, and blouses…I still have certain convictions….BUT  I wear make-up, nail polish and toe nail polish.  EVEN….and this is a HUGE secret so let’s keep this under lock and barrel…..I even wear open toed shoes…THERE!!  My secrets out! :oP   

People will  judge us on our appearance. I am still guilty of this myself. Certain people that I classify as potentially dangerous, do dress a certain way IMO. Much like prostitutes.  You can judge them by their apparel in many cases. I don’t like it, but it is what it is….


 I was told recently that I fall somewhere in between the line…The line of Religion and Mainstream. That said, I do not attract the mainstream what-so-ever. I only attract religious people,  even though..I am NO longer the poster child of a SAH-HSM…. And let me just add, it was NOT worth the price tag and lable,  that was placed upon me during those years.

That said…

The Lord had me walk the road for a purpose and for that I am not only grateful, but count it all Joy! 

There is something to be said about being liberated and truly having the freedom that Christ fullfilled on Calvary. Amen!<<and yes, I still have many of my good Baptist Girl traits. Somethings never die… And I have a few friends who are not Baptist that I drive crazy with all my Amens! *G*

 I will forever smile at the women I use to be…Therefore, I always smile and make eye contact to ladies, that at one time in my life would have been my only BFF’s.

Perhaps this is why they still come to me.   But as it doesn’t bother me that they approach me..It does bother me that they want to play the game…..And yesterday was no different….

 There she was..it was as if I was looking in a mirrior a few years ago.


Very simple in her over sized floor length denim jumper with boat style neck-line. Her hair neatly pinned up in a bun. No outter forms of self adornment. Practical tennis shoes shoes and dark hose.

Yes, she was pretty!  I glanced over to her proud husband who looked to be dressed normal by todays modern wardrobe. NOT to say what SHE was wearing wasn’t normal, because to her it was very normal. It was her uniform. A uniform that spoke out so loud to all those around her…it was down right blinding!

However speaking from much expierence– When I see a couple such as this family…. I instantly know much about the ladies life by just taking one glance…. yet when looking at the husband,  he looks just like any other man in the room.  I think you get the picture. 

 She asked if my kids would be intrested  in competing with her kids in a bible-thon. She then lined her 8 children and started asking then bible questions. This went on for the next 20mins. They were one of the best versed group of kids that I have ever met, not counting my own that is….*Grin*

  I am not upset or saddened by the fact that her Quiver could quote the whole book of Acts .. OR that  they knew how many sons Gideon had, and what Isaiah’s father’s name was…AND what book and verses talk about the upcoming Antichrists… No, that was not what was making me feel uncomfortable..

What WAS upsetting was the look in the  kids eyes, that said their only worth, was how much scripture they could memorize and rattle off on mom and dads que.   I also noticed the all to familiar look in her daughters eyes while she was looking at my  outward appearance.  I was being judged before I even could speak one word to her.  Therefore, what ever I spoke would be discredited as pure evil. Yes, I know all about this game of self rightous judgment.

She then asked me if I wanted to go up against her crew…. I said no, as I declined putting my children through the game. For they too, know how this game is played and are only 13 and 15 years old..They remember, and still have some friends that try to outdo them from time to time. This stuff starts young and carries on into adult hood. The other way around it would be to become a nun, or a monk!


   I  don’t  mind if  anyone disagrees with me on this observation..As I know the outcome first hand, and have seen it triple-fold in religious families in such a negative way…. Teaching your children bible memory verses is not the issue here…But pining them up against each other is wrong!  Being proud of how smart your children are is fine, but bragging and comparing them against every single kid that comes their way is very wrong.

As far as Children go…

I would much rather my children learn what these verses MEAN then have them be able to rattle off an entire book of the bible, resulting in Pride. Our self worth should not depend so much on what we know, but rather on what we do with said knowledge… How are we blessing others? How are we giving ourselves in acts of love and TRUE selfless kindness. Truly making a difference in other peoples lives…which in essence, brings God Glory!!

And I will close with a great big…..

 PS-Round 3 hit already hit me today….There is a lesson to learned in all of this…and it begans with a capitol P….


One thought on “I don't want to compete anymore! There's nothing to Gain!

  1. Oh boy I hear you about your aunt! I’ve had that experience many times too. I came across this article on a website that revolutionized how I dealt with “helpful” people who seemed to be overly concerned about our schooling: Bean Dip Once I realized the benefits of boundaries and that I really was not obligated to try to reason with people, wow it made such a difference!


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