Dreams

I have been having some very vivid spiritual dreams these past few months, which has totally transformed the way I have always viewed dreams.

That said, I had a dream a month ago that really frightened me. It made me question in the back of my head a certain friendship that I have…so I started praying about it. Long gone are the days of casual school-day friendships where we could just take things as they may. People are manipulating and have their own agenda. And THAT sucks! :o(

 

Fast Forward to the other afternoon when I took a nap and had a dream about something completely different. Not connecting the two. This dream was about cats and fleas. Weird, I know! 

I then had someone share with me that fleas and cats generally represent someone who is an enemy in disguise. Someone sneaky and controlling….

This instantly brought back to mind the dream I had last month! But now what?

Isn’t this just like if we were to know the time and date of our death? What now? Do I cut off the friendship in question, or just wait to get burned.

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Friendships–Are they worth it?

Renew the spirit of your mind (Eph 4:23)
~Once you began removing the stones from the fortress of your mind–change will abound.~<3

I’ve been spending lots of time reading. A friend recommended 3 books to me. I have many people recommend books to me, sometimes I will look for them, but I’ll be honest, most times I say to myself..I have enough books on my nightstand!
This time it was different.

When you have someone recommend a book to you, then several weeks/months later you have another friend recommend that same book….you start to wonder..
This is what happened- Four years ago I had a friend ask me if I’ve ever read a particular book, then a year ago had another friend, who out of the blue, mentioned that same book…She said she’s never read it, but felt like I should. I thought that was a really odd statement..:o/
A few weeks ago I was going through some issues and had ANOTHER friend recommend that same book. So I ordered the book! Didn’t tell anyone about it,started reading it, then had the first friend mention it to me again…4 years later!
THAT IS A GOD THING!! Amen!?
 
Not novels. Stuff on the spiritual nature, which has really impacted my life.
For the first time ever I’m finding myself pleading for discernment in regards to my relationships with other people.
In the past I’ve always taken people at face value. I pretty much just go with the flow…
Which means, I can easily adapt myself to how each person is, without getting offended.
For example: I don’t cuss, yet most my friends do. The ones that know I don’t cuss, generally will not cuss in front of me.
However, do  I really want them not cussing for my benefit?
If I had my kids around at the time, then Yes, Please do not cuss in front of little ones, but I’m an adult and don’t want people, let alone friends, walking on eggshells in front of me.
Just as much as I want to be able to be myself with my friends, I want it to go both ways.
This prompted me to cuss in front of certain friends a while back (the ones that never heard me swear in front of them?) I guess by me coming over to them, in like manner, it made them feel more comfortable around me. I found that interesting!

Throughout my Christian life (which just marked 15 years this past month. <3) –I have been rather dogmatic. People and certain groups have seen me as prudish in my ways and not very much fun. I’ve even had people tell me that they wanted to befriend me in the past, yet were afraid. *sigh* They were afraid that I would be judging them..and several years ago, they would have been right. It has taken lots of heartache to reach a balance.  A balance of of who I am and who everyone expects me to be.

It never bothered me in the past, having come out of a religious bondage experience several years ago, THAT in itself was eye-opening.
I feel like with my Type A personality I invite chaos into my life sometimes, then just grin and bare it when the walls come crashing down.
I’m then able to generally take it to the cross and instantly gain peace once more.
I’ve always liked that gift. I call it a gift because I have friends who ask me why I never seem upset for more then a day or two. Why do I forgive easily and move on?
Isn’t that a gift?
I don’t know for sure, but in my mind I’ve already labeled it a gift.
That shared, I’m now reevaluating my mind. Let me rephrase that–through ongoing prayer, The LORD is renewing my mind.(Eph 4:23)

In this latest book I just finished. It told a story of a man who felt over taken by a group of people in his circle of friends. He went on to say…“Why should I pray for these people lord? Why suffer so much for them, when on any given day I don’t know who will be turned against me?” And I’ve done only good to them.
He said his mind became a quagmire of discouraging thoughts.
I had to reread his words several times before stopping and realizing.. that I AM IN THE SAME BOAT! I just have been ignoring it. Of course it doesn’t help matters when people keep whispering it’s gonna happen..*sigh*
Currently I live my life not doing anything, without first knowing what the outcome would be.
Not exactly a risk taker or gambler, even though I have been told otherwise…It’s simply not true. I live my life, and act according to my instincts.

I like to know what happens next, which is why I fall under that morbid group of individuals that read the last few pages of a book FIRST, just in case I die before finishing the book. Silly, I know. I’ve been doing that since I was 12 though.
Getting back to spending time on others….

Now what? Is this suddenly all some major burden to me?
Not really…As I believe the Lord softens peoples hearts for certain people throughout their life-path.
If we find we can help them, fine! If we can not help them, then we are called to take it to the cross and pray for them. THIS has been VERY hard for me to do.
I feel so helpless most of the time, yet I’m constantly reminded that Gods word does not come back void.
It’s so easy to know this, yet I’m so weak  applying it to my life.
~feeling short and weak has never been my strong-suit.
 
I look around at friends who seem to have the world at their beckon call. They are active in their church. Great mothers, great wives, great friends. They have the whole white picket fence…They seem to be so busy, yet still have time to spare.:o/
I can’t help but feel a little jealous.
It makes you start questioning what you are overlooking, or doing wrong with your life?
I’m quickly reminded that God is not the author of confusion, so I stomp those thoughts… as Satan’s trying to bring me down..Lift myself back up again, only to have people constantly pull me in a thousand different directions.

Conclusion: We can not be successful in  the heavenly war if we are not victorious in the battlefield of our minds.
What’s left?
~Love~..Love is always left, yet L.O.V.E = T.I.M.E
I’ve said it a million times..But the questions remain..
1.What happens when the clock stops ticking?
2.How much is time? :o/

Evolving OR dissolving?

Relationships–what is it that keeps people connected on a regular basis?

 We are all taught that relationships take time, and you can not expect to be in someones life 24/7.  And that is perfectly fine….but what can, and what should one expect? If anything, that is.

I have a new mind frame when it comes to relationships recently.

It may actually surprise you, as I do not know anyone that is on the same page with me, and that’s OK!

You see, I believe that people out grow each other. In all areas. That not all relationships are meant to last forever. I believe that people place to much emphasis on friendships, hence, lacking the knowledge that people evolve, and become…Well, different..

People change, and while you may click with one person for weeks on end, you may suddenly wake up one morning realizing, that there should be a period at the end of the relationship. And it’s nothing  neither of you did…it is what it is, and that is perfectly fine….

However,  most people are under the mind frame that things need to last forever, and if they don’t, then you must not be trying hard enough! And perhaps in certain occasions, this may be right on…

However, I believe things  need to go with the flow more…. more-so, on the organic nature.

We all have wants, needs, and desires..and I am not talking about marriage per-say, just to clarify. I’m talking more-so about relationships.

Using myself for an example..I can count up to about 30 friends that I have currently. DO I talk to them all the time? NO WAY! That would put me over the edge! I probably talk to about a dozen people regularly, and even that is time consuming!  I would much rather have a couple of good friends then dozens upon dozens. But like I’ve been told many times in the past, I attract all walks of life. And no, I’m not complaining.

Currently, I  have someone who I do click with, however at times, it feels like more of an illusion….One never truly knows! This is what I am getting at. It is OK not to know. Life is happening all around us, and we ought to train ourselves to not place so much emphasis on our thoughts, because we do become what we think about the most.  It is best to be carefree..carefree can be very soothing regarding relationships.

Let’s face it! Life is time consuming, and I think once we take off the coat of many friendships..and just let things lay as they may, things will happen in a more organic manner.

We should have the freedom and liberation to accept people at face value. Not expecting anything in return….Just L.O.V.E people!!!

Even if we end up getting hurt or feeling left out at times. There is no need for hissy fits all the time in the adult world of friendships!

 And the old saying, we get what we give? That’s a LIE!  And the sooner we all realize that, the better we will all be.

When we learn to take the focus off ourselves and realize that there’s a much bigger picture to our life cast of friendships…

Only then can we fully maximize and nurture the ones that we hold extra dear to us…

Are relationships like Vines…

 

A tall oak tree reaches to the sky..

Many vines start growing around its trunk…

Slowing  choking it, while others shrivel up and die down.

Mr. Oak looks down and shrugs, still aiming for the sky.

More vines, stronger then the first ones, are tightening around the bottom of his trunk. Intertwining with one another to gain more strength..

 

Persistent vines keep trying to wrap around powerful Mr. Oak, yet continuously fall back to the ground.

Only the strong survive and reach the top.

 

Why are they so persistent?

What do they want?

Mr. Oak continues to shrug, aiming for the sky, until one day…..

A huge tree service parks its truck, and cuts it all down!

Down it falls…

To the ground… as all the intertwining vines shrivel up and die..

….like a bunch of angry snakes.

 

 

So many started blogs

I have started over a dozen blogs over the Summer, yet still have not finished one. Ugh! I use to be such an avid writer on message boards and my blogs..Now I feel like Face-book has over taken ‘real writing’ with mere silliness.  And yes, I am truly placing myself in this category. I look back on things I once  use to write about… . pictures I use to take to share, and suddenly see that I have evolved into a bubble of like-minded abyss! Not that, that makes any sense what so-ever…But I know what I mean….SO anyways, what to do with this blog? My desire is to get back in the swing of things. Only time will tell.