As we age….

Disclaimer: This is not a Christian based post.

Resent studies have found, that a husband who supplies his wife with designer bags and shoes, have a much less chance of divorce.
Apparently, they are a more happier couple.
Women feel special and loved, not wanting to look elsewhere, and men flirt less with other women, because “Happy Wife, Happy Life!”

This is NOT my opinion, this is what I caught at the end of a news segment earlier. I thought it was, well, interesting.

I suppose it’s the same as saying, if a man ‘Gets It’ Morning, Noon, and night..he will be happy and never look elsewhere.

However, I  still recall the news story of, Billy Joel, cheating on Christie Brinkley!?
I will never buy into any of this..*shaking head no*
I remember as a teen hearing about them, and thinking…WHAT?!

I wish they mentioned the women’s ages that they surveyed. I have found that women in their 20’s and early 30’s, are very different from women in their late 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. Regarding what they want in a relationship.  I guess I shouldn’t blanket statement ALL women, but generally speaking, using my past friendships, and myself for example..When I was in my 20’s, I was just looking for an fun adventure. Not to be mistaken for a ‘good time’…but more of..What type of guy can take me everywhere?

Gifts were also very important to me, as they made me feel loved, because that was my moms love language She was never around, but would always  leave me presents. I’d wake up and find them on my nightstand. Get home from school and have one on my bed..Get stuff in the mail all the time. You get the idea.

I did take this somewhat with me into adulthood…So I may have fit into this study back in my younger years. Many of my girlfriends also followed suit.

That shared, in the past 8-10 years,  I’ve really changed, as do most people.

There is something different that happens to you between age 30 and 40. Not just for women, either. Men too! They change, drastically.

You think differently about life and people. You become more accepting. You pick and choose your battles more wisely. You mature.  You change in certain areas, yet realize things that use to be important to you, simply fall to the back burner.

And things that were important to you, that you placed on the back burner long ago, suddenly take center stage.

It is somewhat confusing, yet liberating at the same time.

Then you have men… who mature a whole lot slower,  then women.

They spend their teen years and 20’s..looking for a ‘Good Time’..not too be confused with, ‘Adventure’.
They want a pretty girlfriend or wife. AND a good time!
I have always said, that a boy does not fully become a MAN, until he reaches his 30’s. He then has had his fun, spent all his earnings on boy toys, and is now looking for genuine love.

If a man is in his 30’s, 40’s, or 50’s and has not grown up yet, and is still the same guy he was in his 20’s, then he has issues….More issues then, “I don’t wanna grow up, I’m a Toys R’ Us Kid..sorta issues.

I had this conversation with my mother a while back.

She’s  60, and has been married twice, and has had several long term relationships.

She said that when she married my father, she was looking for security and a way to leave home.

THIS happens many times in overly religious families.

I know many young ladies who have fallen prey to this…and are now just miserable.

My mom was 17 when she married. She told me, had she waited just ten more years, which was when she divorced my father..At age 27, she would have never married him. She was young, and clueless. (Her words.) Then she dated a much younger man, who was not looking to be in a long term relationship. And like most men in there 20’s, he did not want an already made family..So after 4 years, he broke it off with her. She was so heartbroken..I still remember passing her the tissue box for all those tears.

Then she married someone the polar opposite of my father, and found out that it was a different kind of worst. And boy was it!!

That is when she started dating ‘older men’.

She said they have already been around the block, and know what works and what doesn’t, regarding women. They are very seasoned! They will treat you like they treat their mothers.. I have always said, that the way a man treats his momma, is the way he will treat you. I tell my daughters this all the time…

Getting back to my own mother, who like I said, is now 60…She is currently dating her best friend, of four years. He treats her like no man has ever treated her, she said.

He has ten years on her, I think. A widower.

They have no plans to ever marry, because they are more full-filled in having each others friendship, then moving in together, or getting married and everything that goes along with that.

They are truly a delight to be around, and very happy.

It has to do with age, in my opinion.

 

My father whom I love deeply, is still in his 20’s, relationship wise… He has never had a good relationship, and most likely never will.

He has always needed to have the prettiest girl on his arm…and nothing more. He has always placed way too much emphasis on looks, and still gets on my case, with the phrase, “If the barn needs painting, Painter up Michelle! ”

So anyways….Interesting topic, huh?

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4 thoughts on “As we age….

  1. Designer bags for happiness, huh? Wouldn’t work around here but neither would candy or flowers. Just clear the table and make sure you return your library books on time and we’ll be just fine.

    I do agree that the way a man treats his mother is the way he will treat other women. Which to me means that you should listen to him at least call his mother on the phone a few times before making an emotional commitment. I know a guy who actually answered a phone call from his mother “hello sh**head”. Guess what–he’s still in his teens emotionally, divorced at least once with a child he claims to care about but never bothers to visit. Of course, the mother is to blame for this behavior too–at what point did she ever tell her son he needed to treat her with any kind of respect.

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  2. I agree with all that. One of my Love Languages is acts of service, and it really makes me feel loved if people offer to help out. Both of the young men that are involved with my DD’s treat their mothers well. As far as the men I know my own age, non of them have good relationships with their moms. I wonder if it’s a generation thing. Or perhaps just falls back to the mothering style that was given, back in the days.

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  3. I would think they would have a better relationship with their moms than the younger set but maybe not if the mom worked and spent her time thinking more of herself while they were growing up. My husband had a wonderful relationship with his mom. Of course his mom was a wonderful woman loved totally by all three children and her husband who burst into tears when he saw her in her casket because “she was just so beautiful.”

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