Holiday Edition: It’s not only you.

It’s not only you.

Sometimes it helps knowing that you are not alone regarding circumstances within your family.

Having not seen or spoken with one of my daughters in nearly two years has had me thinking about how many families across the nation have, or are in this same circumstance. Yet, never talk about it.

I miss my daughter terribly. I miss her voice. I miss her smile. I miss her jokes. I miss her! We disagree on pretty much everything, but I still love her to death.

I’m open about all of this because I want people to know that they are not alone. Even though sometimes it feels as though we are the only one with a broken family. I use the work broken, because broken can be fixed.

After spending this past year asking some friends who seem to have all their ’ducks in a row’ sort of speak, I have not found one family that has no dysfunction within it.

I hate using the term black sheep of the family, as that is the term I have always heard it called when I was a child. 😐

Often times during the Holidays there would be that one person that was very much part of the family but had decided to distance themselves from their family at some point. Coining the term, Black Sheep of the family.

I have a cousin that has traced our family back to the 1800’s and has kept many notes. She knows all our skeletons in closet.

She says that there is not one family where there has not been one person that has left.

It’s an ongoing cycle. One that I really believed I would break. But nope!

When I think of my parents and their siblings, I can think of the one on each side who stepped away from the family.

My mom and my dad each have estranged siblings.

I have an estranged brother myself.

And now my kids have an estranged sister.

Both of my best friends each have estranged brothers.

During prayer recently a Sunday school teacher was asking for prayer for her estranged son.

He left her family at age 20, and is now in his 30’s she said.

He has not come back yet.

She said she still sets out a dinner plate each Christmas for him and the whole guest room of unopened Birthday and Christmas gifts from the past decade.

Getting back to my cousin who knows all about our distant family….her son is estranged from her. Her daughter is not, but just remains on speaking terms with her so that she had someone to cook and clean for her family.

A matter of selfishness. We all seem to have that one family member that sucks us dry too, and just uses us.

I have an aunt that has three kids. She has one son who doesn’t speak to her.

I have an uncle who has only one daughter, and she foesbg speak to him. Both of my grandparents didn’t speak to their parents.

I have another close friend who has a sister she never speaks with and her hue and also has a brother and a sister who never co es around.

So many broken families with people not fighting for what is important in life, and that is family.

I imagine that the ones that walk away from us, are also the ones who bail on their marriages and other relationships, instead of seeking counseling and working through the good times and bad. It’s just so easy to quit and give up. Sadly, It’s a throw away world.

So you see, life will never be a Hallmark movie. (But I still love watching them)

The news recently said that watching Hallmark movies increases your serotonin levels because they comfort us during the Holidays when what we want most of all, is to be with our loved ones.

Watching all these happy endings makes us feel good. And we all gave that, at least.

You are not alone this Holiday season…. Missing some e who has walked away.

November 11, 2019

Two more gifts to buy and I’m done with my Holiday shopping.

It’s been a hectic year but the Lord is turning things around for his glory. As he always does.

•This past week has been a lot of family fun. We started baking and watching Christmas movies together. We see also going through the Under the Dome series with my three teens. They are so in to the storyline.

•We will be heading to the Mall tomorrow to check out what’s new and then find it cheaper online. 😁 It’s just fun to browse.

•My best friend is coming back from Texas at the end of the week. She’s been gone for a month. Then In two weeks, we will be off to Pennsylvania for a Thanksgiving get together with some old friends. We have not been up that way in years and are really looking forward to it.

•The weather here has now dropped to the 20’s. We got some flurries earlier but that is about it.

Time to break out all the winter coats and attire. I bought myself four new sweaters this season and a pair of cashmere gloves. I’m really making an effort to look put together again. I feel as you age, you tend to slack off with whet you wear, and in return, it makes you feel lazy in other areas of your life. Working at home does not require me to get dressed up, do I generally throw on some yoga pants and a tee. No shoes or makeup. I’m trying to find a balance.

•I have been so much more productive since changing my ADHD medicine. My doctor doubled it completely. It has been a full month now and I have pleasantly surprised. It is hard to believe that one can feel this good.

I was taking one that just took the edge off and made me tired all the time. But after much prayer, I decided to give something else a try and I’m so had that I did.

I remember in third grade a teacher told my mom that I definitely had ADD, but my mom disagreed, and that was the end of that.

That said, I’m glad that I was not put on this medication at such a young age.

I think that is when the body has more side effects. Not to mention that a child’s brain is still developing and then adding a medication that messes with the brain…

So I’m happy to have made the decision myself as I’m adult.

What else?

That is basically my life update for this week.

Everything happens for a reason, and I’m trying to focus on the bigger picture to see what the Lord has planned next.

A Day in my Life

With Thanksgiving now approaching us I have decided to start focusing on all of my daily blessings.

My daily routines, that are seen to many people as mundane, are very much blessings in my life. As we age we care less and less about how others view us. I remember my friend Carnie telling me this back in 2003. Of course my young inexperienced self could not imagine this ever being true, but Praise the Lord that it is.

Below are two verses that have been close to my heart.

Psalm 5:3

“In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”

I don’t generally wake up and kiss the morning dew, sort of speak, as I’m not a morning person. After all, it was noon when Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well. Not the crack of dawn. 😉

I do cherish my nights though.

Being a ”feeler type” (Empath) of person, there are certain feelings that attach themselves to almost everything I do.

So much so, if I’m having a bad day and wearing a red sweater during that day, the red sweater become associated with the bad feelings of the day.

This means that the sweater will either get thrown to the back of the closet for a season or get sold on one of the selling platforms I use for work. Thankfully there are more good days then bad.

Getting back to my basic day….

By the time I climb into bed my mind feels very content and my heart fills with much love on most nights. I feel a mental sense of peace. A peace that I would never be able to achieve without God in my life.

John 14:27 ”Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled.”

I have become very happy with the nightly process I go through to get ready to go to bed each and every night.

Yes, I have many steps that have become my own solid routine. One in which brings me much JOY!

After dinner, I spend quality time with my kids.

I’m currently going through a couple of series with them.

Full House and Family Ties, along with the occasional Gilligans Island. Sometimes we play Scrabble or RummiK. I leave it to you them to choose.

After a couple hours they go off to bed.

Then my oldest and I shop talk and share our Poshmark closets, and watch Either, The Love Boat or Golden Girls.

Yes! Lots of entertainment. But I have found it to lead to many of good conversations with the kids.

My husband goes to bed early because he takes do early, so we have quality time when he gets home from work.

Sometimes we all go for dinner, othertimes the movies, over to a friend’s house or out for a hike, or like today, we all went swimming together.

Around 11pm I start my nighttime routine that I look forward to each night.

Night Routine:

I close all the curtains and drapes in the house. I make sure the doors and windows are locked.

I give the kitchen counters one last wipe down.

I check the stove to make sure it’s off and wiped down.

I peek in the laundry room to see if there are any clothes that need to be transferred.

I pour myself a glass of water and prepare a tea.

I take the water and tea and place it next to my bed table.

I take a few sips of the tea, and then save the rest for the morning.

I don’t care that it gets cold.

I place my thyroid medicine next to the water, because at some point when I wake in the middle of the night from a dream, or to use the restroom that is when I take the thyroid medicine.

This medicine needs to be taken on a completely empty stomach and you can’t eat for a couple hours afterward.

So in the middle of the night is what works.

I then head to my bathroom and take down my hair and brush it.

I remove my makeup if I’m wearing any.

I wash my face with Dr. Bronners or Soap & Glory face cleanser.

Then I use a face mask of some kind.

Currently, it’s one by Kate Somerville.

Last week it was Glam Glow.

I change them up on the weekly.

Then I use a toner my face and put eye cream and vitamin C serum on it. Currently it’s all by the brand Sunday Riley.

I then use a lip scrub made by Sara Happ. Nothing else compares.

And lastly, a healthy dose of Sara Happ lip slip lip balm.

After that, I change into my nightgown and spritz myself with rose water, which makes me feel cozy and fresh after a long day.

By this point it is generally midnight.

I climb into bed and fluff my two pillows, after deciding which two to use that night.

We have eight bed pillows on our King size bed.

All different levels of firmness to softness.

Having so many pillows is also a blessing to me. They add to the nightly experience. My kids also have many on their beds. My youngest has said that she feels extra cozy with do many too. 🥰

I then decide which comforter I want to use that night.

Yes! Another blessing.

My husband is fussy with blankets and uses the same one each night. But have three.

One is a lightweight cotton quilt, one is a heavier afgan, and one is one of those weighted blankets that weighs 15lbs.

I like the variety.

After deciding, I feel a sense of ultimate comfort and settle in for the night.

I try to not wake hubby so I leave the light off during all of this.

I then settle in with my headphones and watch a couple educational YouTube videos while rolling my eyes over which videos are trending. Why I ask? Why?

This weeks trending videos have been about a guy who planted 20k trees in mind craft. Apparently, it was a spoof of another video of a guy who actually planted 20k trees.

Then we had someones baby shower video trending, a couple K-pop music Videos, and some life mistakes videos that were trending.

I rarely watch the trending videos. I just read the titles after catching up on the videos that I subscribe too.

After this, I put my phone to charge for the night and pray specifically for my family and friends.

I also use this time to talk to God.

God speaks to us in a whisper but is clearer when we are suffering and going through trials it seems.

I ask the Lord questions and then remain quiet to hear answers.

During this one on one God, I sometimes have visions but not every night. I then pray over the visions.

I generally fall asleep sometime between 1am-2am.

Yes, I started this blog backward, but that is okay. My ADHD always has my mind starting at the end and working my way back.

I generally start my day at 8 am.

My kids are much older now, so they are capable of getting themselves up and starting their day without my help.

When I wake up..I start my morning prayers. I also turn on my sunlight that was prescribed by my sleep specialist.

Then I use a electronic back massager that resembles a power drill but works amazingly on my sciatica.

I finish my tea and water that was placed by my bedside the previous evening.

I use a jade roller on my lymph nodes and face while in bed. I’m not actually sure if this does anything beneficial but it’s relaxing and it feels good do why not. Then I check my nightly sales, answer emails/texts and scan Twitter. I also get random strangers messaging me on my selling platform asking me how to start up.

Many people would not bother answering and just ignore, but I take the time to help. Over the Summer I actually led one of the women that messaged me to Christ. We talked for over a month, as she was ill, and eventually passed away. I’m blessed to have had the opportunity to have talked to her.

Okay, so I do lay in bed for almost an hour, before heading to the bathroom to shower, shave, and brush my teeth.

I keep a tiny refrigerator in my bathroom, as shown below. This homes my digestion/probiotic shots, Along with some kale and lemon-ginger juice. I choose one each morning!

I always have praise & worship music on during this morning bathroom routine. Sometimes I use Spotify.

Other times I play from my churches website, or just through the Klove APP.

After my shower, I self-tan if I feel the need too, and put my Retin-A, Tumeric oil, Vitamin C oil, and a bit of makeup on for the day.

For some women, so many little tasks seem meaningless, or maybe tedious to do on the daily, but for me it is self-care. Something I enjoy.

As well as a blessing to have the time to do all these tasks each day.

It was not always this way though.

When my kids were younger I was lucky to get a daily shower and shave.

But taking these steps and making them into my own self-care routine has made them into something I look forward to doing each and every day.

After the above, I go choose my outfit according to what I think I may be doing that day. If its out sourcing, I go for yoga pants and a graphic Tee and sneakers.

If I’m going to be home, it’s yoga pants and a blouse.

After that I head out to start my morning.

I check on the kids, who do Computer School.

I then sweep the kitchen floor and tidy up the kitchen.

I start wash if need be, and open up all the curtains.

Sometimes I’ll step outside and breath in the country air.

I then make sure the cats have food and water.

Then I either eat breakfast, or pull my nightly sales.

Presently, I sell about 5-10 things a day.

I sell on three different platforms.

If I pull my sales first, I put them on the table to wrap later, and then eat breakfast.

Breakfast is either eggs & toast, Apple oatmeal, Plain Greek Yogurt with raspberries and honey, Avacado & Tomato Toast, or a protein shake.

Whichever I feel like each morning. Again, a blessing to have so many options.

After breakfast my oldest daughter and I exchange any work related videos or news reports that we have come across since last speaking.

Then we decide who will work first.

Work involves washing, drying and steaming all the clothing items we resell. We also use at-home dry cleaning kits for all the coats and wool items.

It also involves polishing handbags, shoes and boots with mink oil.

Basically, giving old things that most would consider no good, and toss out, a brand new life!

It is the ultimate recycling business that keeps thousands of things off our landfill each year. Another Blessing!

I just checked my bookkeeping. I have sold just over two thousand things this past year!

And my daughter sells more then I do. That is a lot of recycling!

I generally let her work first.

We have one room that is set up with a professional backdrop and photo lights. It’s a tight squeeze, but it works and I’m blessed to have it.

We also both have mannequins that we use.

We also have started selling hardwoods these past few months, so use a card table with a backdrop to take our pictures on.

Hard goods consist of Fine china, silver, coffee cups, picture frames, etc.

Three of us cook now, so who’s ever turn it is to cook a hot meal that day starts around 1 or 2.

If the kids finish school before DH comes home, we do reading together and talk about life.

Today we read a few chapters of Moby Dick and talked about why the world keeps trying to emasculate women and feminize men.

Also, why feminists are not really about women‘s rights but seem to shame us women who really want and desire to be a stay at home wife or full-time mother. Or even choose to work at home. Why must we be shamed?

I really dislike all the division.

The kids have daily time to play on their Xbox while I journal or blog.

While doing so, I count my blessing once more.

How much of a blessed life that the Lord has given me, and how at times I have been blinded to his blessings whilenoff doing my own thing, leaving my eyes glued shut..

All because of selfishness.

Praise God that as we grow more to his likeness, our selfish tendencies start to melt away. At least this is how I’ve been experiencing it all.

Thinking about these times makes me feel grateful.

And knowing this sort of peace is rewarding.

When my life is enlined with Gods Will, there is a remarkable Thanksgiving that shines.

Darkness and Light will never be able to coexist.

And lately, when I feel hurt or sad the Lord himself lifts me off the ground and helps me to stand again. Brushing me off and renewing my spirit.

And each time this has happened to me I feel stronger and stronger. I feel as though I’ve really become intuned with the actual feeling that is attached to each episode.

Another wondering Blessing!

James 4:8 has always resonated with me.