The Last Time I…

The last time I went thrifting for work was on March 22, 2020

The last time I went out to eat was on March 3, 2020

The last time I went out to the mall was on February 24, 2020

The last time I went to a Walmart was March 16, 2020

The last time I was at a church building was on March 4, 2020

The last time I did a grocery shopping order was on March 27, 2020

Your turn….catered to places you normally go..

Behind the Scenes

I’m feeling so torn over something that happened at Church last Sunday.

I’m not sure why it’s bothering me so much. I’ve been trying to pray it away, but I’m still torn.


During baptism I was standing at the alter with a bunch of others. Prayer and worship was happening and songs we’re being belted out.

In the mist of worship, the assistant pastor passed along the side of where I was standing.

He was tring to motion to his wife, who was doing the baptizing that morning.

The motioning of his hands to his wife broke my attention to the band that was singing on the stage.

He told his wife to ”HURRY IT UP”

I read his lips.

Then his wife said, ”I’m trying”

I am sure I’m not the only one who noticed. Or perhaps I was the only one who was bothered by it. 😔

I generally never stand up by the alter, but the past few times that I have, I have noticed how everything is never random, like I have thought all these years.

It feels very orchestrated and planned out. Right down to each song and things people on stage share at particular times to get people to let go, feel, etc.

An example of this would be a sadder song being sung and then a louder upbeat song sung.

Once some of the people start shouting or verbally praising out loud, that is when someone on the stage says that God has now entered the room and is asking for everyone to let go and praise the Lord louder and not hold back.

Again, I’m not NOT happy with our church. I’m getting fed.

But ever since I’ve sat in the front it’s been hard not to notice these things. The things that the majority of folks are not witnessing/seeing.

Lots of hand motions to everyone on the stage. Sometimes motioning to say another line to a song. (I have noticed this when the congregation starts to get extra loud)

And by repeating a song line or two, it seems to get more of a reaction by the members.

I never noticed any of these things sitting farther back.. I am now upset that I’ve witnessed so much.

This has me wondering if the families whom I was once close too, but have now left the church, noticed these things also, and then could not remain blinded.

It now feels like at the weekly church meetings, all this is planned out ahead of time.

Like someone starts the meeting with, ”What should we do this Sunday?” ”How should we make people feel?” ”Whats going to be beneficial for us?”

And that is just speculation of course.

And if that’s not enough, they brought back our senior pastor this past Sunday, who is currently on an overdue personal leave until mid October.

He came back this past Sunday, only to get up on stage and tell the congragation that offerings have been down by almost half, since he’s been on personal leave, and that he needs people to give a couple hundred more that day.

Then thanked everyone. And left! 😳

Again, everyone loves the senior pastor, so coming from him instead of one of the other pastors, would possibly move the people to give more.

I don’t think he felt good about it, but since he is employed by the church, it was most likely asked by the higher-ups to come back to say this.

Has anyone else ever experienced any of these things? Advice?

I’m not naive, I know every church has it’s politics, etc.

But that said,

How do people that work for the church turn a blind eye to the manipulation parts?

Today’s Testimony

I woke up this morning feeling, well, like a hormonal mess!

My head was foggy and I kept waking up last night with a backache. I felt horrible! We’ve all been there before.

Dh asked me if I wanted to stay home from service and he’d just bring the kids.

I thought about it for fifteen minutes while laying in bed.

Then I started to pray. Asking the Lord to get me out of my funk. Especially mentally. It’s one thing to feel physically tired. That’s never fun first thing in the morning. But when your head feels foggy, and not clear. It’s just awful.

After another fifteen minutes I was up showering and getting ready.

Yes! Prayer works..
However, On the way to church I started feeling like I wanted to go back to bed again. But remained quiet, praying again; for Jesus to breath new life into me and give me a fresh dose of the Holy Spirit.
We arrived at church and everyone took off to their classes. Dh got a coffee and sat down in the foyer area with a bunch of others.

I decided to go in the chapel and sit by myself.
As soon as I sat down the pastor started asking us if we have ever had a Sunday where the Devil was just kicking your butt, and telling you to stay in bed.

It was odd, because this generally doesn’t happen to me. At least it hasn’t happened to me in servers years…So had I heard this message prior, I wouldn’t have been able to relate.
She went on to say that we have the authority to kick him to the curb, and claim our energy back. Physically AND mentally!
Then she mentioned that we were all here today for a very reason. Well, or course, I thought to myself. I could think of many reasons right off the top of my head.

That said…right then and there, I got up and decided that I’d go join dh for a coffee, and sit with the others. (The introverts)

When I left the chapel I saw dh sitting in his favorite chair drinking his cofffee. But all the sofas and chairs outside the chapel were already occupied.

There are also several big screen TVs where you can watch and listen to the mornings  message.

So I decided to walk towards the front entrance and sit in one of those stairs chairs.

I was only there for about fifteen minutes, when dh walked over to me and asked me if I wanted to go sit on the West wing of the campus. Apparently there are also sofas, chairs, and TVs showing the message over there he said, and oftentimes it’s quieter.

We have been at the same church for several years. But it’s so large, I have never actually seen it all. It has a school and a college too. Quite massive.

My daughter, who is employed by the church,  has recently mentioned to me an art wall in the West wing. So having that in the back of my mind, I decided to gather my belongings and make the walk with dh to the West wing.

As we arrived I noticed a large leather couch up against the wall, and we both sat down. It was very nice, and I don’t know why I’ve never ventured out.

And then, as I looked up at the at the TV screen on the wall, continuing to hear this mornings  message,  a younger lady that I’ve never seen before reluctantly walked through the side door entrance.
She walked over to where we were both sitting and looked up at the tv screen. Right off the back unnoticed how beautifully she was dressed. And I knew I was going to want to tell her, as that is something I always compliment people on, because in this day and age I feel like no one puts any real effort to the way they look anymore. Not just for church. But anytime. Everything has gotten so casual. But that’s a whole other topic. So getting back to the real one…..
She asked if church just recently started, And was she late?
I told her that they were half way through with the first service, but another service would be starting soon and to sit down if she wants.
She looked back to the door in which she came through. Then we told her if she likes coffee, that there was a coffee bar around the corner and she can just have a latte’ while she waits for the next service.

Then she smiled, sat down next to me, and we started chatting up a storm.
I am not going to share any of that, because it was personal.
But the testimony IS, I am so blessed that the Lord revived me enough to drag myself in this morning. I know without doubt, that I was meant to be there at the very moment this lady walked in.

You know, It’s not always about us and our needs. I know we all, self included, think it is,most of the time.

Truth is, it’s about others.. and how we can be the hands and feet of the living Christ.

What we can do to bless those around us. Daily!

Even if we feel down and out, ourselves, at times.

The Lord will always restore the faithful. He’s so good like that.

Something the pastor did mention at church today, was how we are all like a mosaic painting.

 The Lord finds us at our ends rope. In pieces! Broken. And when we except him as our personal savior, trust and delight in him, he restores us. Completely!  He makes us whole again. 



So Beautiful! 
Oh! And I never did see the new art work in the West wing. Perhaps next time.

Or perhaps I will wander off to the East wing to see the new paint. I hear it’s lovely too. 😉

Blacks, Hispanics, and Whites 

This may be a bit of a controversial topic. It is not to make anyone feel bad. It’s just something that has been on my mind for some time.
These are just some observations I have personally noticed.



Does a certain race determine how family oriented you will be as an adult?

Does a certain race determine how helpful you will be as an adult?

Does a certain race determine how much genuine love you will have for your community?

Does your race determine your future?

Does your zip code play a factor?

Do people make their zip code, or does your zip code make you?
After asking around..this is what I have found..

It appears that Blacks and Hispanics are taught from knee-high a sense of community.

Whites, not so much.

At least this is what I have been told and what I have personally noticed.

Apoligies for such “blanket statements”

I am white. Btw.

And…I married a Hispanic man.

After marrying into a Hispanic family
I noticed the sense of community that Hispanics have.

I have also noticed the same type of community within the black communities.

One that I have never witnessed in my own life, or in other white communities growing up.

I didn’t grow up with much diversity.🤔

That said, I have been surrounded by diversity these past few years. And I Prefer it.👍
I’m really not sure how community is taught. But it has to be taught, because community never comes naturally. It just doesn’t.

It needs to be built. And my guess is that it needs to start at a very young age if you want your kids to be adults that reach out to the local community, neighbors, and friends of all sorts.

If you want your children to grow up caring  for their siblings then you need to instill “family first” at all cost.

Personally, I teach “family first”

And with two kids who are basically adults now, I pray that I’ve done a good enough job instilling “family first” values.

I think you need to start off by teaching your kids that their siblings are their forever best friends. Not their enemies.

It saddens me how many children grow up having no relationships with their siblings.

I feel like their parents have failed them.

More observations:

Whites usually keep to themselves. At church, as well as in their neighborhoods. 

Their motto generally is, “You don’t bother me and I won’t bother you.” Period!

“And no, I don’t want to visit you, and dear God! I don’t want you over here visiting me.” 

“Yes, I am new to your neighborhood, but please! please! Keep your cookies and cassoroles at your place, because I don’t want them.”

It sounds silly to read all that, but it really is true.

Several of my friends at church who have been church members for the past ten years tell me that they still don’t know anyone.

Personally, I mean. 

Sure they know almost everyone’s name, and wave in passing….But what about their kids names?

Their family pets names?

Their health issues?

Do they really know who they have been sitting next to for the past ten years. Breaking bread and praying with?

THESE are signs of REALLY knowing someone.

One woman at church has told me that I am the first person that has ever invited her over for lunch.

That people just don’t do that anymore. 
I am saddened by this. I have tried time and time again to get unity going.

Getting people socializing. But…..

(On a positive note, I have a Sunday School social this coming Sunday. I thought a pic-nic at the park would be nice. Just a pot-luck. Nothing that takes any real planning. About half the class will be attending, but it felt like no one wanted too. It was suppose to be a time of fellowship outside the church walls.

Casual, carefree, and fun! A time to get to know one another. Personally.

But to keep it church based, someone suggested that we actually do our Sunday school lesson at the park. Then eat, then fellowship if time allows. So that is the current plan. 😐)

Yes, my mind is scattered today. I’m so sorry.


Moving right along…..

Whites rarely offer to help you move, watch your pets while you are away,  or lend you their lawn equipment,car, ect.
We have all been here before.

1. My car just broke down and I need a ride. Who can I call? Oh yeah. No one! Praise God for tow-trucks, taxis, and Ubur.

2. I’m moving and I could really use some help packing and loading the truck. Oh yeah! I have no one in my life to help with stuff like that. Maybe I can flash a hundred dollar bill and five free pizzas.. Then I will have better luck. Maybe.

3. I’m going on vacation. Who can I ask to watch my dog and feed my livestock? Well, I suppose the two hundred dollars that the pet hotel charges per week  is not all that much. And if I just leave tons of water and food out for the animals, they may not die.

I have moved alot in my life and I have always noticed that white people are rarely offering to help out.

Help with…Well, anything. I don’t understand it.

I have mentioned  it before but if you are not a regular reader here, my family currently attends two churches regularly.

One is all upper middle class white folks.

The other is very Diverse.

Blacks, Indians, Hispanics, whites, and Asians.

At the white church the preacher has a sign up sheet for folks that need help with yard work or moving, could possibly get the help that they need. People rarely sign up though.

So after a couple weeks go by with no one signing up to help he will call an elder meeting to round up a some of the teens to go help out.

At the more diverse church, the preacher will casually mention ONCE that someone is needing help with something and all sorts of hands go up.  At least the black and Hispanic hands.

Surely other people notice these things. Years after years…you’d have to be blind not to.

My family was the only one that showed up to help an elderly lady with her yard work a while back. (This was at the an all white church)

I tried to round up some others, but they were all just too busy.

How do you motivate people to physically help other people out?

It seems like those who try to set the example, never actually accomplish anything, other then people taking advantage of them.

When ever I start to feel this way I try to pray it away. It’s so hard at times, but  I dont want to stop helping people because they don’t appreciate it.

There are a lot of of people that do appreciate hands on help. But there are a lot more who take advantage of people’s helpfulness. But that’s all a different topic entirely.

So once more….Moving right along.

I will use my husbands family for an example.

I have noticed throughout the years how all it takes is one phone call when one of them needs help with something.
It doesn’t matter if it’s physical help or financial help. They all have each other’s back. Always!

My family? Well, it’s only if they are not busy. And it has always been this way. Nothing new.

I see this same pattern with my white friendships and their families, too.


My husbands brother attends a Spanish church. 

He bought an old house that needed loads of work done. And within a month he had it move-in ready.  

I assumed he hired outside contractors, but he laughed and said that he put the word out at his church one Sunday and that afternoon he had a bunch of people willing to help him. No one even expected compensation he said. His wife just insisted on feeding them dinner.  I was shocked! 

I do not know this way of living, or fellowship. But I hear stories like this all the time within the black and Hispanic communities.

So I am left wondering…

What are we not teaching our children? 

Wasn’t there a time era where whites and community were in the same sentence. Perhaps not.

Anyone care to share their thoughts? I need to think more on this…

The Bake-Lite Spoon Prt 1 of 2

The Bake Lite Spoon


(True Story)

The year was 2002

I wanted to do something special for my church home, Calvary Baptist church.
I took on the role as church cleaner, and took it upon myself to keep the church spick and span. I enjoy organizing and cleaning, especially other people’s things. I find it relaxing. This was a good job for me. One that I volunteered to do.
Several months went by and I started to overhear people comment how nice everything started to look. Clean. Fresh!

Only the Pastors and elders knew it was me making everything look so nice. I didn’t want anyone coming up to me thanking me, or just commenting about anything. So I would always go in and clean during hours when I knew that no one would be there. With permission of course.

I shampooed the pews, carpets, the cushions on all the metal chairs.

I cleaned the bathrooms and kitchen. And then I slowly started giving each room ‘a theme’ A facelift, if you will.

One of the bathrooms was done in a floral shabby chic style.

Another bathroom I gave ‘Angel Theme’

I found angel pictures, hand towels, soap dishes, and a stature of an angel for between the sinks.

I thought it looked cheerful. Pretty!

The church had a school too, and I decorated the preschool bathrooms in a ‘bug theme’

I hand sewed a bunch of cute ladybug curtains. And found cute bug stick-ons for the walls.

(Which recently was told are still hanging) lol

Then I started in on redecorating the church kitchen. I bought all new things. Dishes, silverware, curtains, floor mats, etc.

And I tossed all the old stuff in the outdoor garbage bin. Everything looked like junk to me.

Things were going very well,  until I was called into the Pastors office one day after service….

This is How God Works! God IS LOVE!

The other day I took cash out from the ATM-something I never do.

Today Dh took cash out from the ATM after work-something he never does. We both generally never carry cash, only debit. What made us take cash out then?

We had plans to go to Lowes to buy a new shower tonight, we would be using our debit card.. On the way I was going to stop at the salon but they were closed, so we went out for coffee. We started talking and lost track of time, Then saw that Lowes was going to be closing soon. We headed on over in that direction, and as we are in the parking lot a man in tears came over to our van and knocked on the window. His very old conversion van was parked in front of us, and he proceeded to tell us that his wife, two kids and himself are living at the crisis center down the road. They are homeless. They ran out of gas and were stranded in the parking lot.

He said his church(which happened to be our old church) hasn’t offered much help, other then prayer. *This didn’t surprise me* :o(

He said he had no money for gas or food for his family. He then pulled up his shirt to reveal to us all the scaring from a surgery that he had done last year that financialy wiped them clean, then he got laid off from work. The house got taken, and they have no family to speak of.

He was the most down out man that I have ever seen in my life, a face I’ll never forget, and just listening to him tell us his story made me start crying.  He went on to tell us how he is just a normal guy, who has worked hard every day of his life to provide food and a good home for his family. He was a roofer, which is very hard work he went on to tell us…

Before we knew it, and before he was even done talking..I opened my purse and took out all the cash that I had taken from the ATM days prior. My DH did the same, and we gave it all to him. He then started to break down, and my heart wanted to so badly get out of the van and hug him! He thanked us while reaching out his hands to us, and went off to the gas station next door.

So, we went into Lowes, after this and they did not have the shower that we needed. They were out of the size  that we needed. The only one that they had, was the display model. The shower was $214.00, which seemed like a good price to us.

We really wanted to take care of our bathroom this weekend, and were feeling rather bummed out. Then, one of the employees asked us if we would be interested in the display model. We said sure! So the manager came and told us that he would be happy to get someone to get the display model down for us, and he would let us have it for—(DRUM ROLL) $104.00

Can I get a AMEN?

 Praise the Lord for all his goodness!!!

Blessings abound when you Bless others sacrificialy!! When you give and ask nothing in return. And most importantly–when you LOVE. ❤


Is your Church Toxic?

Unhealthy or Abusive
A place of blessing and refuge for those in need. A place people want to go. Lives are blessed.
A place of slavery. A place people want to leave. Lives are embittered.
Benevolent leadership genuinely concerned about the welfare of those it leads. Malevolent leadership concerned about control over those it leads.
Leadership concerned about loyalty to the people.
Leadership concerned about the loyalty of the people.
Devotes the system to meet the needs of the people.
Exploits the legitimate needs of people for its own ends.
Leadership builds up the people.
Leadership tears down the people.
Healthy structure established for order and taking care of the people. Whole structure works for the good of all.
Unhealthy structure established to control the people. “In” groups, rivalries, favoritism, rewards and punishments to ensure loyalty to the leadership and system.
Leadership is secure, welcomes outsiders.
Leadership is paranoid, afraid of outsiders and disloyal members.
Contributions made willingly
Contributions made under compulsion.
The good of all is what matters.
The system and one’s position in it are what matters.
The system serves the people.
The people serve the system.
Leaders serve the people.
Leaders control the people.
Hardships related to the task at hand.
Hardships arbitrary, inflicted by the leadership
Negative aspects of system discussed and corrected for the good of the people. People who identify problems are put in a position to address these needs for the good of all.
Negative aspects of system silenced. People who identify problems are viewed as a threat. They are marginalized, stigmatized and cast out of the system..
Welcomes helpful changes.
Resists changes.
Prayers of thanksgiving and praise.
Prayers of anguish and pain.
God leads people to go there.
God leads people to leave there.

The Patriarchal Movement









The Patriarchal Cross

This was quoted recently to me regarding the Patriarchal movement.


Since my family has left this movement, these are some of the things that now seem rather ironic to me…

-If you gain weight, you aren’t caring for your husband’s visual/sexual ‘needs’
-If you try to lose weight, you’re expressing  pure vanity

-If you buy your kids new clothes, you’re wasting your husband’s hard earned money, you should be sewing their clothing from recycled sheets!
-If you don’t buy them new clothes, you’re a bad witness and do not care about them.

-If you make every meal from scratch, you’re focusing on ‘works’ not ‘grace’
-If you don’t, you’re not a  true Proverbs 31 wife

-If you have an opinion and voice it, you’re  too domineering, and a feminist
-If you don’t, you’re not ‘supporting’ your husband and are a door mat

-If you like to socialize with other women, you’re a pure gossip
-If you like to socialize with men, you’re a pure harlot homewrecker
-If you don’t like to socialize, you’re unfeminine, as well as rude, and do not know anything  about true hospitality.

-If you dress modestly, you’re denying your husband his natural attraction to you and are nothing more then a frumpy has been… of a house wife.
-If you don’t dress modestly, you’re  a trashy worldly whore!

-If you read Above Rubies, etc., you’re wasting your time when you should be serving your family, not spending so much time reading.
-If you don’t, you have no idea how to serve your family in a Godly fashion.

Hmmm, very interesting… If I had read this a couple years ago..I would have rolled my eyes, but since the Lord has now OPENED my eyes..I find these things to be very good things. Good food for thought.

The question is…Where is the Grace?

There are so many Christians who simply do not understand what Grace means. For them, I would say..Ask the Messiah..Ask him what it is about him that you do not understand  what True Grace is. Christ did it all folks!

He paid the price!

Why are we still placing restrictions on our lives to illuminate our self rightous attitudes?  We try so hard to shelter ourselves from this evil world..forgetting the first part of John 3:16….((((FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD))))
After battling this for the past decade, I am so blessed to have a clearer understanding on this. YES! There is a middle ground! Praise the King, he is Worthy to be PRAISED!!

RELIGION ~Religious Testimony~

Do you know what it means to be Religious?

~My Religious Testimony~

Disclaimer-Please stop here if you are under 18. This post is pretty straight forward and uses some  language at times  to get some points across.

Most Christians are Religious. That’s a given.  Most Christians that I know have no personal relationship with Christ either. Wow, strong statement? I hope so, because it is true. Just by spending time with someone and talking about Christ, you can really see whether someone is religious of not.

Do you fall into this category? Are you Religious?

If you have ever went to church and sung a bunch of praise and worship songs, or heard an amazing message and came out feeling as if you could climb Mt. Everest and back, because you are on such an emotional high..Then Yes, you have  fallen prey to having had nothing more then a spiritual Orgasm. Think on that for a moment. Anyone can have an Orgasm. It doesn’t have anything at all to do with LOVE!  This is the analogy, so stay with me, and don’t blush too much. We are all adults.

Anyone could go to church and shout out some amazing Praise and Worship songs, here an amazing emotional message, and come out of church nearly shaking, because they FEEL as though they just spent time with the Lord. Or served the Lord with all they had!

Most Christians think that if they are serving the Lord, they are doing Gods will and work.  Are they? Are we “helping God out” when we are serving him? When we are teaching Sunday school, or cleaning up the church pews, or watching the little ones in the nursery; Who are we serving? Who is getting the benefits? Who exactly are you helping out? God??

 Does God NEED our help in this area? Does he call us to help him at times, because he can not do it  himself?

Or, are we helping the CHURCH? Is  the Church God? Can God only be found at the Church Institution? What exactly does the NT say about the church? Are today’s churches even churches that the NT speaks of? Why do we say that  the church is Gods House?  Are today’s churches the temples the NT spoke of?  Does God live in all the churches that we drive by each day? OR, and follow me here for a moment…Are we taught this? Are we taught from knee high that the Church is the building….What about leadership? What does the bible say about leadership? Was Paul  out taking donations in the NT, to “help him” preach Gods word? Is there anyone at all in the bible that asked for handouts so that they could “fulfill” their calling to share Gods word? What does 2 Thessalonians 3:10 say in this regards.

Back to church leadership. Is it biblical? Was there any examples of Pastorship in the bible? I see none at all. Why do we take so many things out of context? Oh Yeah, it is to keep the “system up, and running”  The system needs our help, it always does!

Just as much as we are pulled into the system each time we see a TV commercial and run out and try the product, or send our children to school so that the school could mold and shape our children so that they can operate robotic-ally in the system…the CHURCH is part of that same system folks whether you realize it or not. Wow! Doesn’t Satan have us all deceived!!

Lets see..we have commercials to shape, form, and suck us housewives into the system..Meanwhile we have our kids at school being molded and shaped and robbed of their identity and self worth, so that they can fit nicely into the worlds standards and the SYSTEM.. We have sports to make the men “feel good” and keep them entertained so that they can fit nicely into the system. Then we have the biggest sham of all….The church! The church is the system to keep all the christians in line. The bible does say not to forsake the assembly. But who is the assembly? Have you ever studies this before? If not, I encourgage you to do so.  Hint: WE, the PEOPLE are the assemby. And I never forsake the assemby of the saints. I am encourgaed and edified each time I get together with my sisters and brothers in Christ. It is so magnificent because it is not robotic and structured. We do not all have to shut up, and hear one God-Man belt it out from the front upper stage. Oh No, we get to ALL interact, and interact for as longggg as we want too. At times it is till nightfall too! Praise the Lord!

The church is just as much part of the system as anything else. It is where Satan has all the Christians go so they can be taught how “good and worthy Christians” are to be.

Sure, churches will teach you how to memorize 100+ verses..Oh WOW! That will make me more Christ-like…Ummm, doesn’t Satan know every single bible verse himself????  What the heck are we doing to ourselves forcing memorization on ourselves, and our children. Does this not also lead to Pride?  What the heck are we doing to our children?  How does it feel to be nothing more then a robot? Churches will teach us what the bible says; because lets face it, we are indeed morons who need to be taught verse by verse what the bible says because even though we are born again, and have the holy spirit WITHIN US..We still need to have someone else spoon feed us what it all means….I suppose since most of us have been brought up in the public school SYSTEM, we have already been raped of our critical thinking skills. SO this is all a no brainer for most of us.

This is where the church will come in and fill the gap for us too!
The church will teach us so  much..How to act, how to give sacrificially, how to minister, how to become a missionary, how to treat one another.  How to serve God, even though John 15:15 is very clear that after Jesus Resurrection, he no longer needs us to serve him, let alone wants us too. All he wants, is a relationship with us, and to love one another. Church will Pretty much teach us everything we need to know to be a good Christian, so we can all be a carbon copy of everyone else in the pews. That way, once we are all robotic in our thinking and ways..Then we will REALLY be able to be blessed, and used by the Lord. Until then, we need to continue to go to church, stand up, sing some songs, sit down, pray..Stand up again, hear the word of God being read, sit back down once more, Stand up once more. (How many times do you think you sit and stand in ONE service? It may surprise you!!!) OK, then we will listen ever so carefully to the preacher give HIS interpretation of what God is actually saying, because we are just not qualified to understand anything on our own, and besides, we have not all went to bible college. We really are dummed down in this area  and really need all the help we can get. This is where the preacher is most needed! He is like God after all, and that is why the congregation treats him sooooooo good. He even has his OWN day!  

Pastor Appreciation day!!!

What does the first commandment say again? What does  1 Timothy 2:5 say again? Hmmmm…

Hip, hip Hooray it is: 

Pastor Appreciation day!!!

We need to go out and get the pastor a really expensive gift, and increase our tithe by 20%  so he will know how much we Love and  honor him… BUT, ONLY if we are walking with God though and have been really faithful to the church. If you have not been faithful to YOUR  church, then God is going to be withholding his love from you.  Do not expect any blessings from God either. You MUST  be faithful in your church attendence, and only then, will the Lord use  and bless you!! IF your worthy enough..If not..The Hell with you! Or so we are brain washed to believe. :o(

So, let me ask you once more….Are you in the system that is known as,

 THE CHURCH? Have you been used by God lately? Is being a follower of Christ about being used and blessed by God?
Does Religion have anything at all to do with have a relationship with Jesus?  NOT, knowing ABOUT GOD,  But having a one on one relationship with the father, because I can bet my life that Satan knows more about God then you, or I do! Knowing about God has nothing at all to do with having a  personal relationship with him. You will NEVER hear this preached at church. Trust me when I say,  I have been in more churches then you ever have. I have been in more churches then schools, and I went to a different school for every grade of my school career!

So… what does God want from us then??? Nothing! Apsolutely nothing!  He wants us to just relax and get to know him.  He is our father, our daddy. He is everything that matters. He is the only one in the whole world who will love you unconditionally and FOREVER!!  Many Christians will spend the rest of their lives jumping through hoops and back, not ever really knowing who Jesus is, or how much he loves them.

This is what keeps unbelievers from wanting anything to do with Christ. They simply have no clue how much they are loved by him.
My husband gave a great example to a teen last night who was a non believer. He simply asked her how she feels when a boy shows interest in her. She said she liked it alot. What if the boy told the girl how much he loved her? This makes the girl want to get to know the boy even more so, does it not?

This is how Christ works. Once WE realize how much he loves us…all we want to do is get to know him more and more!
It really is that simple, yet churches have turned it into fire and brimstone preaching that uses nothing more then scare tactics to scare people to the the thrown. Let me ask you, do you think Jesus is forceful? Is there any occasion in the bible where Jesus forced himself on a person? No, he is a Gentleman, an amazing one at that. SO much so, that he waits patiently for us to ask him to come into our lives. He will not ever force himself on us. He won’t. For those who do not believe..All I can offer is that you have nothing to lose. You do not have to say some silly mundane robotic prayer for Christ to come into your life and make himself known to you. All you need to do is ask God silently to show himself to you if he is real. That is it! If he does not reveal himself to you, then I guess he is not real. This is how much faith I have in the Lord that I love!

This is all about relationships and has nothing to do with anything else. I have gotten so sick reading blog after blog, and feeling as if I just had a church service. Guilt has never worked in the past, and never will. You can beg people to give to your ministeries. You can show people pictures of deathly starving babies in another country, you can tell the congragation that if they want to be blessed from God, they will do XYZ…..Guilt has no place here.

People have been using guilt for years and years. Everyone has their own agenda. Everyone but God. He will never force his ways on you, and will never use guilt to get you to believe in him. Why do we do this then?

Why do we use guilt, and judge our brothers and sisters on performance?

Why do churches judge us on how well we perform?

If you are a Christian, do you honestly believe that the way you “perform” determines how much Christ loves you? Do you think that the Lord is sitting on the thrown waiting for you to mess up, say, or do the wrong thing ,so that he can condem you to hell, or hit you over the head with a baseball bat?

If you feel this way…..You are serving a false God. You are NOT serving the Messiah, and it has all been in pure vain if you are viewing Christ as someone who is getting ready to hit you over the head each time you mess up! You are stuck in the system and Religious Bondage, and  otherwise conforming to this world. What does conforming to this world mean exactly?

 Simple ly stated, being sucked into this worlds system..Why are we taught in church that it is something external? Oh, stay away from the movies, stay away from the malls..these are places that the heathens linger about….*G*

Ask for discernment folks.  It is an amzing gift to have. Ask the Lord to reveal himself to you. That is it!

That all said, we are all in different walks in our journey we call life. Some people are ready for certain things that the Lord will reveal to them. A couple years ago  if I would have read this blog entry, I might have scratched my head. I would not have been at the right period in my life to understand any of this. That would have been fine too!
With this all said, I have been very religious myself for  years. I felt that the Lord only loved me on how good I performed for him. Or how much I gave the church to keep it running etc.   How I talked and  looked, or what company I kept. Being Religious really has nothing to do with Christianity. Think about that for a moment.

Most people “assume” that if I call myself a Christian, well then, I must be a very Religious person. When someone thinks you are religious, they are very careful on how they talk to you. They don’t say any bad words, and if they slip, they immedietely apoligize to you, as if YOU were God.  The only gifts they give you are “religious ones” Pictures of Jesus, pictures of the Last Supper,  little trinkets of praying hands, bible verses on plaques, etc.

 Being Religious use to mean.. just being a church goer. Oh, how times have changed. Christians are the main reason why unbelievers do not take the bible as being the word of God. Christians are also the reason why there is so much division in all the congragations and why we have so many congragations, and lack of unity in the world itself.  Another strong statement, I know…Religion is really a very bad thing.

I know many people who are Religious. I am sure all of us do. I have Family that has fell into the Religious trap, and friends too.  What’s more, Religious people do not even realize that they ARE being  Religious! This makes me chuckle nowadays because I have been called Religious in the past and laught it off . because I did not see myself as being religious at all. LOL

I guess we all have a preception on what being religious actually means or is.

 So, let me ask you..If someone asked you what it means to be religious, what would you say?
Religious people could fit into any of the following groups below. Keep in mind that these are only SOME examples of what being religious falls under..Maybe you see one, or two things that describe you. Maybe everything below describes you…IDK.
People that are religious sometimes are avid chruch goers, feeling so guilty if they miss even one service, dreading that call from the “special church committee member” that gives those, who miss a Sunday, a “speical call”  just to make sure they are good and well of course! 

It is sincere, really it is…..*Grin*
Religious people dress a certain way to show off their religion. They go to all extreams to look NOT of this culture. Of course if the bible would have been written in the Western culture, Oh my, how we would be dressing otherwise, for religious reasons….You get the point.
Religious people will read the bible and change ON THEIR OWN… something about themselves. If the bible says do not drink, they will not drink, if the bible says to do XYZ, then they will do XYZ. They will make changes in their life for the sole purpose, to earn Gods  love & favor. To make God love them more then the next sister or brother….
Religious people will SERVE the Lord! They will go to all extreams to reach out, they will not relax and let the Lord bring people to them to minister and encourge. (BTW-most people do not know that the Lord WILL bring people to them.) If only they would stop, do nothing …. let go, and let God….AMEN!

Religious people will not only feel CALLED to save the orphans, homeless etc….they will make sure that the rest of us  feel guilty by not joining them on their calling too!! Hmmmm, Guilt trip much?
Please do not mistaken what I am saying here. It is fine and very nice to go help people that need help. I help people all the time, but just do not go announcing it to everyone that I know… If you are one that helps folks and then goes out and makes sure that everyone you know , knows how much you are helping “change” the world….What are the motives of helping them? Are you helping them for RELIGIOUS reasons? Are you helping them because you want to or feel you need too, because that is what the bible says to do? Are you helping them because you feel that God will love you just a tiny bit more then your neighbor who is kicking back, doing nothing, and not helping.  This is where Religion takes lead. Also, are you quietly going and helping someone who is in need, or are you preaching to everyone you meet, asking for them too, to HELP YOU..on your supposely calling by the Lord.   See the difference here? I know many people who are out there asking everyone they know to help them with their mission.  This is nothing more then Religion I am affraid. Think about this for a moment if this describes you…

There are so many people who do stuff, for the love of their Religion. Just look at the Muslims. Some of them kill, all in the name of Alah! It is all about their religion and has nothing to do with the maker. We, as christians are not much different in this area.

If God has really called YOU to help so and so…then where is your Faith in God? That he will supply the means for you to do the task? Why are you reaching out by your own means and asking others to help you on your mission? I guess it is really not Gods calling for you, if you are doing this. If you are asking for everyone else to help you, or making people fill guilty for NOT helping you. SHAME ON YOU!

God does not need YOUR help!

If he is truly calling you, to do, or help someone, he has always and forever supplied the means for the task at hand. You should not have to say, tell, or do anything at all. This too, has Satan all over it.  Vanity, Pride, Guilt.

You can go out and literetly save the world.  This will not make the Lord love you  any more then he already does. Think about all the icons, such as Princess Diana and Ghandi. They did sooo much, on their own to help people, to make a difference.

Other then Mother Tereasea, I really do not know of any other person who moved the mountains of good sterwardship then they did. Were they believers?  Nope! They helped thousands upon thousands too. Was it wrong for them to help? No, I am not saying that. However , they were not going out and asking others to help them feed the orphans though and help the needy, so  they are one up on most believers.

 Religious people often times have very high standards for themselves, and anyone else they feel worthy enough to grace their presence with.

Religious people do not hang out with or befriend anyone who is different then they are. Some times they do, having the motive to convert the other party to see things the way that they do, or believe the way that they do. These are both very wrong. Yet, I am guilty of having done this in the past myself. If you are friends with anyone in your life and have a motive on the back burner for them, this is very  Religious and wrong!
Religious people have an agenda, and the unbelievers are aware of this, hence, why they want nothing at all to do with Chrstians. The agenda often times is…to convert the unbeliever. To let them know that unless they accept Christ into their hearts at that very moment..then they are doomed to Hell and are going to burn in the firey gates of hade!  

Hmmm, how has this worked out for you lately? Being so Religious and all.
Does the Lord need us to scare anyone to believe in him??? How dare we do such a thing!!

Actions have always spoken louder then words, and the moment that I submitted to Christ and just relaxed, Let go, and let God work within little old me…..That is when the Lord revealed himself to me in such a  powerful way, that before, when I was sooooo busy with ministeries, serving and church..I was blindsided…Business is indeed, todays worldliness too.  Satan wants to keep us busy in the system! The key to being part of the system is to keep us busy, really busy, so we will not have any time what so ever for relationships and genuine  loving , caring friendship. Sure, we will get thrown a bone every now and again.. “Good Job Susie”! You have served God so well with your faithfulness and performance..”God is surely going to bless you greatly”!!!! Just look at all the youth groups that treat your child to a nice shiny badge or ribbon on how many verses they memorize, or GOOD they perform within the insitution.  Their self worth is taught at such a young age, by how well they perform. They are taught that performance equals LOVE! Love =Acceptance. Very sad!

This is how the system and the church uses us. It makes us feel sp worthy and loved.  It shines and puts the spot light on self. It makes you feel like such a Good  worthy christian. It makes you want to serve even more then you already do in fact!!!….All for Gods Glory, even though it has nothing to do at all with God at all. WIll God turn it around for his Glory? Sure he will, he alwasy has and alwasy will. But, it must sadden him that we are all so ablivious to all this.

Religious people are like puppets. You can look at them,talk to them for about 10 minutes, and know all about them and what makes them tick. This is why so many people take advantage of them. They make it so easy to fool them and pull the wool over their eyes.
So, are you Religious? Do you know God? Or are you nothing more then a religious puppet that everyone pulls the strings too? Are you robotic in your ways? Is there not much to you? Are you very predictable? Are you nieve and easily fooled?


Maybe you are the one who is pulling the strings. The bible describes these people as, Wolves in sheeps clothing. I have know several of these “so called believers” in my days too. They are as sly as a fox. They slither in, take what they can get, have hidden motives & agendas up there sleeve as a way to trick you into thinking that they care about you. They will love bomb you to death. They will make you feel special and worthy. They will suck you in, and then spit you back out.. once they get what they want from you.

I like to call them, “The Pretenders” They are so good at what they do. Satan REALLY uses them. They will act just like you when you are around and then when the next group of people are around, they act like them..liking the same things that whoever are with them likes. They are actors and actresses at best.

I do not want to forget to mention the super ultra conservatives. They are the self rightous modern day Pharisees that think  they are the only ones that will actually be in heaven. That unless you look and act the way that they do..then you really are not a believer at all. They feel it is THEIR job to let you know everything that is wrong with you. They are their brothers keeper. They are nortorious at holding their brothers and sisters accountable for their actions. They are controlling, manipulating and have a dictorship quality about them. They are very self rightous and you can smell them a mile away. Heaven forbid that you call them on it though. You will then be seen as  Rebellion, and you will either be casually eliminated from their circle, or shunned publically. Having you go through a tad bit of humiliation is OK, because they are just doing it for YOUR own good!
All these things..all for the Glory of God! Got to LOVE RELIGION!!!
So, why would anyone ever want to Love the Lord with all their heart and soul?

With friends like these, who needs enemys right?

Well, not me, no more. I have been on both sides of the spectrum and have recently chosen the Lords field. The field that only has to do with Loving each other and letting the Lord do the rest. I have faith in him, and he DOES NOT need my help!!

This is called Relational Chrstainity.  I did not even know there was a word to describe it, but you know how that goes. *G* The way it use to be.

There is no room for fakeness in mine, or my families life.  If anyone has any hidden agendas or motives, I have Faith in God that they will be revealed and dissoved at once. I am not into game playing christianity, nor religious mumbo jumbo. I am also not into role playing Christainity. I am not going to be the victim any longer. I have a relationship with the father, and that is all I need.  For the first time in my life I feel secure in that. It makes me cry knowing how much Christ loves me!!!

I pray that all you do too. I also pray that the Lord will reveal himself in you in such a way that only you will know it to be him. I pray that the Lord will wake you up to what it means to be in “the system”. To show you how many people are pulling your puppet strings…
Who are you? What is your self worth? Who are you identified with? Are you nothing but your heavenly fathers son or daughter? Or are you lost in limbo? Are you feeling unhappy and  lonely? Do you want more for your life and feel as if you need to cling to what ever comes your way, as a way to escape from it all? If so, what is your escape route? Is it church, to make you feel high  and mighty for God? Is it a physical relationship , or an emotional one that has grasped you by your throat and you can not seem to let go of it.

If there is anything that has control of your life, other then Christ..then it is Religion.  Maybe you are an Atheist, that is a Religion too. Maybe you are in Spiritual bondage. Religion once more. Maybe you are working so hard to be the person that the Lord has NOT transformed you to be..and you feel yourself sinking  by the day. Maybe you are trying to live up to someone elses expectations for you, and are stuck in game playing Religion and performance based religion.

Some people will live their whole lives this way because they do not want to prove anyone right, so they  remain in bondage, due to pride. They would rather be misrable the rest of their lives, then admit someone else was right.

This happens all the time, and is nothing new.  The Lord wants us to have freedom and Liberty, and despite what we have been fed in church and by the “Religious folks” we are not in Rebellion for wanting to have Freedom in Christ!! AMEN!

We can do nothing on our own. I think most of us get that. This does not mean that we need to carbon copy ourselves to meet the expectations of another person. God made us all unique, and  different and will use our gifts and talents in ways that we will never be able to fully comprehend.
It is not our job to make anyone feel, or act a certain way. Where there is motives, there Satan lays in the mix!

All we need to do is be oursleves and ask God to transform us. This is so simple.  Why do we make it so difficult. It is nothing we need to handle on our own.
So  I will just leave you with that….Be yourself!! Just Be yourself! God made you after all. You are Good enough the way you are for now! You do not need to earn Gods Love and favor! Let HIM be the one to transform you when HE sees fit. STOP trying!!

 Be yourself, NOT the person you have been molded to be..not a certain brand-line of what you have been taught what a  good little christian should be…..Just YOURSELF!! Why? Because God Loves you regardless, and will change things in you…WITHOUT your help..and believe me when I will not even see it coming….
God does NOT need your help!!!;o)~~

Church, H1N1, and Living foods!

Good Afternoon everyone! I feel Inspired! Things have never been bad per-say, but since doing some major life changes this past year, I just can not stop smiling.

I use to read other ladies blogs and read how happy and good they always seemed to feel, or so they claimed. Secretly, I always left thinking that they were lying. I don’t know why. Just did.

I am walking around 50 lbs lighter, which feels Amazing! I have also been set free from Religious Bondage! Always trying to EARN gods love! This has been such an amazing year for me and my family. I feel such a connection with Christ, like never before. I feel like Church had done so much damage to me, even though I did not get saved until age 23..It feels amazing to throw religion out the door and focus solely on Christ now. I am finding many people know “about” Christ, but really have no relationship with him what-so-ever.

They are so busy at church, serving and keep the church functioning, which leaves little, to no time, for a relationship with the King!  If any of you watched any of the little video church clips that I posted a while ago, you will see what I mean. The church is a system, much like the movie The Matrix..Most folks feel that the church is who they are. Their identity. They are lost without punching the clock, sorta speak. This should speak volumes!

That all said….

I woke up today craving a GREEN smoothie! I have read that the more “alive” foods you place into your body, the more you will crave, and feel ALIVE! Well, this seems to be true. I am still so amazed at my little old 1972 dollar vintage blender that is breaking down the greens much like a five hundred dollar Vita Mix  does. Sure, it takes more then 30 seconds, but in less then 5 mins, I have a perfect Green smoothie that is full of living enzymes and energy! My husband, who has never cared for greens, says they are good too. This speaks volumes to me. The key is, the sweet and thick fruits that you add to it. This totally masks the strong green flavor, and even the kids are drinking up.

 My son was around some other kids last week and came down with what we thought was the H1N1. He was fine one minute, and had a fever, vomiting with diarrhea the next minute. Well, that was the flu symptoms I was told, and I was also told it would last at least 1 full week. BUT, no need to fear when a mom has a power smoothie to share!!

He had no appetite, thank goodness..y’all know how fun vomit is to clean up on a full tummy! LOL

Anyway, I gave him some aloe to sip that night, elderberry in the morning, and some sips of greens..This nipped it in the bud in less then 24 hours flat!!! He was running and playing the very next day!


Another testimony was a sudden ear infection my little one had. In the past, I ran to the doctors, with a screaming waiting child. Feeling ever so helpless. They would just tell me to give her pain killers, and put her on a 14 day antibiotic. Then 14 days later, baby is fine for a couple days and BANG! The ear infection would come back, and we would have to go back to the Quack, I mean doctor, and go through the whole thing over once more, this time with a stronger 14 day antibiotic!! Ugh!

Keep in mind my youngest has been the healthiest. This was actually the first time she has ever had an ear infection. I just felt like the best mommy around, having been able to ease her pain ASAP and CURE it too!

How did I cure it? I put 3 drops of pure olive oil in her ear 3x that day. The pain immediately stopped as soon as the olive oil hit the ear canal..and the very next day..the infection was gone! She was fine. I put 3 more drops in that one ear, just in case..but she was back to her old self again. WOW! The pharmacy sells this ear stuff in the baby section called, “sweet oil” If you look at the ingredients, it is 100% olive oil. Hmmmm..WHat a no brainer, when you keep olive oil in the house all the time anyways.

The Lord is Amazing at providing natural home remedies for  illnesses. All we need to do is educate ourselves. This is the Key!!
The Doctors are not God! Most, if not all, are not on your side either! They are only taught to treat your symptoms in Medical school. They are never taught how to cure them. They are there to make a buck, that is it! They are there to support the pharmecuitcals. If you follow the money train, you will always fall right back to the Pharmecuticals…They are most likely the ones that let out the virus in Mexico for the H1N1 in the first place..Don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise folks!!

My yummy smoothies!



blender 3

To learn more about the medical benefits that green smoothies have: