Fun times on Vacation…

It’s just the little things when it comes to our family. Which is a super relaxed one.

So far we have lounged by the pool.

Hooked up with another homeschool family.

Ate out way too much.

Went to the mall.

Went to Royal Nails, which is said to be the best nail salon five years running. And yes they were!

Tomorrow we are taking the kids to Hannah’s Mirrored Maze. (Will post pictures then.)

We have been doing ubur again on vacation. It really is nice.

Per usual, the resort beds do not compare to our temperpedic back home, so I had to buy tiger balm for the back pain.

I also went to target and found this cute photo prob for eBay. 😉

I have noticed a huge difference between people in SC, verses people in NC. I’ve never noticed it before. I won’t say which is which, but one state has friendly people then the other.


Bye-Bye Frumpy Girl!

I am not sure what it is about the colder weather that always makes me feel so frumpy and grumpy.

Perhaps it is because with the colder weather I am not feeling very cute with layers upon layers of clothing.

Being a plus size woman, big oversized coats and sweaters always make me feel like a beach whale. And I’m not saying that everyone looks or feels like this if they are packing a few extra pounds, but for me… I just feel frumpy. And it really does affect me.

I still have 2x and 3x clothing in my closet that are simply too big. Yet, I keep reaching for them because they are oversized and cozy.

But then I feel so frumpy with shirts hanging off my shoulders revealing my bra straps.. and baggy in the middle, which causes me to question… am I wearing a maternity top?! 🤨

So no more! I’m back in full force at the gym and currently fasting, so I really have no plans of ever needing the larger size clothes anymore, despite me reaching for them constantly.

I know that when I dress more tailored and wear more fitted clothing, I feel my best. I feel motivated, and put together. Not like a middle aged frump!

I still love my yoga pants and livi tees, but I need to get rid of all the 2x abs 3x clothing and only leave my 1x clothing.

I am finding that while I am out sourcing 5x a week now, I am simply not taking care of myself the way I once did. And I’m disappointed in myself.

So that, is yet another New Years Resolution I plan to put into action this week.

When I take some time for myself, it benefits everyone and everything around me.

2018 New Years Resolutions

Diet, Fast, Circuit train

No dairy, sugar month on January

Gallon of water a day in January

Learn one new thing EVERY DAY.

Ex: Are people who live in the desert climates more healthier then the rest of us? 🤔

Spend less time on YouTube

More time playing board games with the kids.

More time outside

Cook more at home

Double my profit on eBay by December 2018

Travel more

I’m sure I’ll be adding to this list. 😉< strong>Anyone else jumping on the New Years Resolutions train this time around? 😁

Oh! I am also living on the edge on this very last day of 2017.


Reflection over Mother

This has been the first Christmas that I have had no contact with my mother and I thought that I would have felt a sense of loss.

I was assuming that it would have sparked an emotion of Love or loss, but it has not.

My family had an awesome Christmas morning, and then went see Star-wars in 3–D. It was a very chilled day. We had our celebration feast on Christmas Eve.

We ended our Christmas last night watching old home videos from year 2000. Mainly of the kids.

That said, my mother was in a couple of them, so I was expecting it to hit me. Emotionally.

But the only thing I saw was the way I always had to walk on eggshells and the way she talked to me. I felt nothing.

There was absolutely zero love, hence, no sense of loss.

In one segment we were celebrating my birthday where gave me a jornal and asked me if it was the one I wanted from Barnes & Noble.

I told her that it wasn’t the one that I had previously mentioned to her, but I loved it anyways. And thanked her.

That should have been the end of the conversation, but it was not.

She got defensive and told me that I’d just have to take it back if I didn’t like it.

I then repeated to her again that I liked it.

She then asked me what it was that was different then the one that I asked for.

So I went through a big song and dance explaining that it was a mother’s jornal that you wrote about your kids in. And the one she gave me was one that I wrote about myself in.

I suppose I should have lied, and just thanked her and said yes, that it was the one I wanted.

Maybe that’s what most daughters would have done..

The next thing I opened was a dress she bought me.

It was gray. Quite lovely.

Yet again, after I opened it, she asked me if it was the one I wanted. I told her, yes, but in black.

She then went on saying that gray would look much better on me, and that they didn’t have black anyways, and if I didn’t like it, to take it back.

You see, it’s the getting upset whatever I say and telling me to just take it back if I don’t like it that irks me. Especially in the manner that she did..

Her voice to me was always angry, even seventeen years ago. The same anger she had when I was trying t order myself the tomatoes with breakfast on my last day with her, is the same anger she has always shown to me.

And after watching the home movies last night I realized that she has always talked to me that way.

The only difference is, I’m not putting up with it anymore because it has always made me feel awful. I am all about putting “family first” but if you have family that I’d never uplifting, encouragingly you, and basically makes you feel like you are five years old when you are a full blown adult, that’s where the line should be drawn. Just because they are family? Does not give them a free pass to treat you like crap. No one deserves physical OR mental abuse at any time in their if you can pray for patience with someone and have what they say to you NOT effect you in way, shape, or form.. then that is different. My husband is the type of person that can just let stuff go in one ear and out the other. He takes nothing personal. Even if it is.

But I’m not like that. Maybe I will have that gift some day, but presently, I do not.

I remember on three different occasions trying to be assertive and stand up for myself, by telling my mother that I don’t want communication between us to always be harsh.

This was also always the advice from other family members, friends, and my husband.

They have always told me to just be assertive and tell my mother, like an adult, that I will not have her talk to me in a degrading, condescending way.

Each time I have tried, it never went well, and always left me in tears. Not to mention, regret.

The first time was back in 2005.

She was in my living room yelling at me, for what, I don’t even recall. I think it probably had to do with me letting my kids run through the house. Or, my kids trying to talk to her while she was reading. You see, my kids were always such a bother to her. And I’m coming to realize that my brother and me were also a bother. An inconvenience.

I remember asking her why she was so upset.

She thought that was terribly disrespectful, and so I told her outright that she was being selfish.

The result from that, was her moving out two months later. You see, everything was always her way or the highway.

The next time was when I was down in Florida visiting her,back in 2013.

We were at a national park, in the parking lot, in her car. She started asking me why my kids don’t write to her.

I told her that they don’t know her, and that her coming to visit once a year, yet never really spending any quality time with them… haven’t really established a relationship with them.

That made her very angry, and she started in on herself.. because every conversation always ended up with the whole… “My life has been so hard, and poor me.”

I ended up in tears, and feeling so bad that I stood up for myself and my kids.

Then the last time was this past year in the middle of a thrift store, again, while down in Florida visiting her with my daughter.

She pulled me aside and told me that she has a lot of issues with my daughter and that maybe I should have come visit her by myself, like usual.

We ended up having a huge argument in the middle of the thrift store. It then continued at a restaurant. It was probably the worst feeling I have ever felt in my adult life. It has only been six months, so thinking back on that day, I still feel that “feeling”

THAT day was the final straw, when I realized that I did not want to spend the rest of my adult life being afraid to be myself or talk to her.

A few days leading up to this, my daughter had noticed that I was agreeing with everything she said, each time she talked to me. If she said she didn’t like something, I agreed that I didn’t either. If something made her mad, I acted like it made me mad, if she complained about someone. I sympathized, and agreed that it would have bothered me too. If she asked me how I liked something, I told her I loved it.

I wasn’t even realizing that I was doing this until it was brought to my attention. It made me sad at the time; that I had stooped to that level of communication with her.

But I guess I learned that in order to keep the peace, just agree with everything.

That night I decided in my mind that things need to change, and that if I couldn’t handle being talked down to, and I have already tried to have an adult conversation, to address the issue, then the only other option would be to take a break, and cut off all ties with her.

I thought it would have been a hard thing to do, but if you never had love in the mix, then there really wouldn’t be any empty place in the heart.

And this has been my experience these past six months of having no communication with her.

I don’t feel the sense of loss that I thought I would have. Mainly, because I never received any genuine love from her, well, ever. Even as a child growing up. I guess I assumed she loved me, and she occasionally voiced it to me.. but as an adult, I have felt nothing. Granted, I feel sad that I have had two very absentee parents growing up. And more so, that my children have been robbed of active grandparents.

But I’m not going to whine sad cry the rest of my life over it. I’m capable of showing each one of my kids their potential and worth in life.

Never, will I ever, whine to them that I didn’t have this or that as a kid. And they should feel lucky. Or try to manipulate them to feel sorry for me, etc.

Because it’s not about me.

Raising children needs to be a selfless act.

One out of pure love.

Kids need unconditional love. When they feel your love, everything else will fall into place…



I’m not sure what has happened that has triggered the dark side of my OCD, but something has tripped it, and out of the blue…BAM!

Maybe it’s from some of the mental health YouTube videos that I’ve been watching lately, or simply because I’ve been keeping up with the news again..

But my OCD bad thoughts, has been really bad today, so I’m turning in early to keep my brain from over thinking.

I’ve been studying sleep paralysis more lately, and how when you sleep, you actually become legit, paralyzed in many ways.

This controls your body from hurting itself while dreaming, and acting out our dreams, along with controlling our bladders. Very fascinating to me!

I’d much rather have my mind focus on things that interest me, then horrible sceneries that would never actually happen, but in my mind; insists on playing them out.

Or questioning them…

Then to make matters worst, I need to satisfy my curiosity and Google the odds. Or, figure out if, and when it’s ever happened.

Oh to be normal.

But then again, what is normal?

And is being normal, actually normal?!


December part 1

Fall, in general, is always the busiest time of year for me. It starts off with three birthdays in October, and then carries onto another three in November. Throw in Halloween and Thanksgiving, Black Friday ….and then December is here.

My wedding anniversary is this month.

99% of my shopping has been done.

Children’s activities are in full swing, and the little down time at home that we have is spent on baking, decorating, and Christmas movies.

I’m not complaining, in fact, I love it. So much!

I can’t imagine a life without family things.

My kids are a huge part of my life.

I thought as they got older, it would start to feel somewhat empty. But I’m quickly realizing that it’s even more fulfilling.

I love being a mother so much!

I have never been able to relate to other mothers who complain about their kids, or look forward to having them in school, and not at home.

Of course this is the only life I’ve ever known. And my kids are extremely well behaved, and genuinely enjoy spending time with each other.

I suppose if there was arguing and fighting all day, I’d feel very different about family life.

I think we want to give our children the life we never had. And for me, it was two very absentee parents. So for my family life, stability and focus, has always been my number one priority. It’s important to me, for my kids to have the stability and unconditional love that I never had growing up.

And that’s all I’m going to share on that.

I need to get up out of bed and get motivated. I see that my daughter has left me a cup of tea next to my bed before she left for class this morning. ❤️

I’ve been laying here since 6am thinking about this coming week.

We leave in a few days for a mini vacation.

My husband surprised me with K-Love Christmas concert tickets, and I’m very excited. He’s very introverted and doesn’t like crowds, so this really was a true act of LOVE. ❤️

Moving on to some activities in pictures.

Our first snow! It’s been in the 30’s. ❄️🌨

Stunning picture of our American flag that I took in Greensboro, NC the other day.


2017 Holiday Bucket List

This was our Holiday Bucket List this year.

1. Buy new tree & decorate as a family.***

2. Buy everyone a new ornament.***

3. Christmas Caroling

4. Watch seven Christmas movies.***

5. Go to Tanglewood light festival.

6. Go to Christmas concert.(Have tickets for next week)

7. Spend weekend at a nice hotel and relax.(happening next weekend)

8. Bake Christmas cookies & surprise friends.

9. Christmas Cards out by the 10th. ***

10. Black Friday Christmas Shopping.***

11. Read a couple Holiday themed books.**

12. Buy Christmas dress.

13. Build Gingerbread House***

14. Make a Holiday themed coffee,cocoa, cider bar.***

15. Decorate whole house in Christmas decor.***

16. Buy Christmas bed sheets.

17. Visit a Holiday craft show. ***

18. Treat myself to a Holiday eye shadow palette.***

19. Christmas craft Day

20. Ugly sweater Christmas party


Suspended from EBay

Well, I got suspended from eBay today. Just for a week. (This is why you have to have multiple accounts, btw)

This morning I woke up to an email saying that the Vero program flagged a pair of men’s Shockwave boxing shorts. They were flagged.

In Layman’s terms…Along with many other companies, their name is trademarked and they do not want anyone purchasing any of their shorts anyplace other then their website.

Or, unless you have purchased a valid license to sell their merch.

There are many people who sell retail arbitrage, such as Nikes, but they have all gone through proper protocol and bought a license.

I can see if I was trying to sell hundreds of their shorts, but trying to sell one lousy pair, that have already been purchased…

It’s just absurd. Really!

It has always been about the money, and always will be. I s’pose.

It’s not eBay’s fault. They are just trying to avoid any lawsuits. This is 100% understandable.

I’m told this time of year, many companies are in full force with their police.

There are people hired to just scan eBay all day and flag any post that has their company name on it. They simply do it want anyone getting a deal on their overpriced retail Merch.

I looked over a list of three thousand words, and brands today that don’t take kindly to you reselling their goods. Even if they have already been bought and made their money the first time around.

How silly of us to think that once we purchase something, it then belongs to us. 😐

I’m trying to imagine a world where nothing can be recycled. Clothing wise. Our poor landfills. As is, not every one is diligent with recycling.

So if I sound upset, I actually am.

Not at eBay though.

At least eBay is not the only platform I’m selling on, so my income has not ceased. But the reason behind the suspension really irks me. Yet, I understand.

My disappointment should be on all the greedy companies. And yes, it is..


Small Talk

Mishmash of thoughts today-

What would the world look like with no opinions, unless asked?

Better yet, what would the world look like if we listened more then we spoke. What if our focus was more-so on keeping quiet and blessing others.

How would this effect people’s mental state.

So many people have self doubt on the daily.

They question everything. It seems as if everyone needs approval in order to get through a day. Yes, I do blame social media for this. Which is why I will never, ever go back to it. (Insert opinion) 😉

Recently, I had someone staying with me at my house that kept asking me if such and such was my favorite.

Ex. If I wore black two days in a row or used the same coffee mug, they would ask me if it was my favorite.

I kept saying no. And I was being honest.

Truth is, I don’t really put much thought into things that I do on the daily.

I’ve become more of a grab and go type of person.

But being asked so many times if something was my favorite and then feeling the need to explain why it wasn’t, was exhausting.

This got me thinking of what a world might look like if we agreed with everything.

If asked if such and such was my favorite, I could have simply said yes.

If someone asks if I like such and such.. say yes! (This would have put an end to many a debate in the past.)

These are small things, mind you. I’m not talking about world events, religion, or any thing heavy.

Just small chat, where by agreeing with the other person, you are actually performing a selfless act of making that other person feel good.

I know we all have opinions. And that’s normal. But on the other side of the token, it does, and has, caused so much division among family and friends.

So I’m going to challenge myself starting tomorrow.

In fact, I technically already started.

I was at Walmart tonight and while looking at the Christmas decor, a lady next to me held up some gaudy looking garland and looked at me with a smile, and said…”Sure is beautiful huh?”

Did I think it was beautiful? No. I thought it was gaudy. But what good would have came if I would have told her that. Instead,

I agreed with her. She smiled and then picked up a couple more packs and off she went.

I also stopped to help an older woman choose a tree and ornaments. She didn’t ask, but she looked like she needed a helping hand. In doing so.. she shared bits about her life with me.

As I’m getting older, (today was my birthday,btw) I’m realizing that I never want to be too busy to help a stranger.

I don’t want to be so caught up with myself that I can’t smile back at someone, or help them put there groceries in there car if they are struggling.

I don’t want to loose sight and become blinded by what’s happening around me. I don’t want to be self absorbed 24/7.

As cliche’ as it sounds, true happiness & contentment really does have more to do with helping others..

Everything always seems to just work itself out organically when you know who’s driving your steering wheel in life.

The Lord is my Sheppard, and has never once led me astray.

I want to bless others and become as selfless as I can.

I want to make people smile again. ❤️


Fitbit charge 2

If anyone has a Fitbit and wants to be added to my friend list. 😁

I’m really into tracking my miles and sleep each night and comparing and cheering others on. This is my sleep study from last night.

After about a month of trying different things, I’m getting exactly the right amount of R.E.M. And Deep sleep that my body needs. And it feels so good!