This may be a bit of a controversial topic. It is not to make anyone feel bad. It’s just something that has been on my mind for some time.
These are just some observations I have personally noticed.
Does a certain race determine how family oriented you will be as an adult?
Does a certain race determine how helpful you will be as an adult?
Does a certain race determine how much genuine love you will have for your community?
Does your race determine your future?
Does your zip code play a factor?
Do people make their zip code, or does your zip code make you?
After asking around..this is what I have found..
It appears that Blacks and Hispanics are taught from knee-high a sense of community.
Whites, not so much.
At least this is what I have been told and what I have personally noticed.
Apoligies for such “blanket statements”
I am white. Btw.
And…I married a Hispanic man.
After marrying into a Hispanic family
I noticed the sense of community that Hispanics have.
I have also noticed the same type of community within the black communities.
One that I have never witnessed in my own life, or in other white communities growing up.
I didn’t grow up with much diversity.🤔
That said, I have been surrounded by diversity these past few years. And I Prefer it.👍
I’m really not sure how community is taught. But it has to be taught, because community never comes naturally. It just doesn’t.
It needs to be built. And my guess is that it needs to start at a very young age if you want your kids to be adults that reach out to the local community, neighbors, and friends of all sorts.
If you want your children to grow up caring for their siblings then you need to instill “family first” at all cost.
Personally, I teach “family first”
And with two kids who are basically adults now, I pray that I’ve done a good enough job instilling “family first” values.
I think you need to start off by teaching your kids that their siblings are their forever best friends. Not their enemies.
It saddens me how many children grow up having no relationships with their siblings.
I feel like their parents have failed them.
Whites usually keep to themselves. At church, as well as in their neighborhoods.
Their motto generally is, “You don’t bother me and I won’t bother you.” Period!
“And no, I don’t want to visit you, and dear God! I don’t want you over here visiting me.”
“Yes, I am new to your neighborhood, but please! please! Keep your cookies and cassoroles at your place, because I don’t want them.”
It sounds silly to read all that, but it really is true.
Several of my friends at church who have been church members for the past ten years tell me that they still don’t know anyone.
Personally, I mean.
Sure they know almost everyone’s name, and wave in passing….But what about their kids names?
Their family pets names?
Their health issues?
Do they really know who they have been sitting next to for the past ten years. Breaking bread and praying with?
THESE are signs of REALLY knowing someone.
One woman at church has told me that I am the first person that has ever invited her over for lunch.
That people just don’t do that anymore.
I am saddened by this. I have tried time and time again to get unity going.
Getting people socializing. But…..
(On a positive note, I have a Sunday School social this coming Sunday. I thought a pic-nic at the park would be nice. Just a pot-luck. Nothing that takes any real planning. About half the class will be attending, but it felt like no one wanted too. It was suppose to be a time of fellowship outside the church walls.
Casual, carefree, and fun! A time to get to know one another. Personally.
But to keep it church based, someone suggested that we actually do our Sunday school lesson at the park. Then eat, then fellowship if time allows. So that is the current plan. 😐)
Yes, my mind is scattered today. I’m so sorry.
Moving right along…..
Whites rarely offer to help you move, watch your pets while you are away, or lend you their lawn equipment,car, ect.
We have all been here before.
1. My car just broke down and I need a ride. Who can I call? Oh yeah. No one! Praise God for tow-trucks, taxis, and Ubur.
2. I’m moving and I could really use some help packing and loading the truck. Oh yeah! I have no one in my life to help with stuff like that. Maybe I can flash a hundred dollar bill and five free pizzas.. Then I will have better luck. Maybe.
3. I’m going on vacation. Who can I ask to watch my dog and feed my livestock? Well, I suppose the two hundred dollars that the pet hotel charges per week is not all that much. And if I just leave tons of water and food out for the animals, they may not die.
I have moved alot in my life and I have always noticed that white people are rarely offering to help out.
Help with…Well, anything. I don’t understand it.
I have mentioned it before but if you are not a regular reader here, my family currently attends two churches regularly.
One is all upper middle class white folks.
The other is very Diverse.
Blacks, Indians, Hispanics, whites, and Asians.
At the white church the preacher has a sign up sheet for folks that need help with yard work or moving, could possibly get the help that they need. People rarely sign up though.
So after a couple weeks go by with no one signing up to help he will call an elder meeting to round up a some of the teens to go help out.
At the more diverse church, the preacher will casually mention ONCE that someone is needing help with something and all sorts of hands go up. At least the black and Hispanic hands.
Surely other people notice these things. Years after years…you’d have to be blind not to.
My family was the only one that showed up to help an elderly lady with her yard work a while back. (This was at the an all white church)
I tried to round up some others, but they were all just too busy.
How do you motivate people to physically help other people out?
It seems like those who try to set the example, never actually accomplish anything, other then people taking advantage of them.
When ever I start to feel this way I try to pray it away. It’s so hard at times, but I dont want to stop helping people because they don’t appreciate it.
There are a lot of of people that do appreciate hands on help. But there are a lot more who take advantage of people’s helpfulness. But that’s all a different topic entirely.
So once more….Moving right along.
I will use my husbands family for an example.
I have noticed throughout the years how all it takes is one phone call when one of them needs help with something.
It doesn’t matter if it’s physical help or financial help. They all have each other’s back. Always!
My family? Well, it’s only if they are not busy. And it has always been this way. Nothing new.
I see this same pattern with my white friendships and their families, too.
My husbands brother attends a Spanish church.
He bought an old house that needed loads of work done. And within a month he had it move-in ready.
I assumed he hired outside contractors, but he laughed and said that he put the word out at his church one Sunday and that afternoon he had a bunch of people willing to help him. No one even expected compensation he said. His wife just insisted on feeding them dinner. I was shocked!
I do not know this way of living, or fellowship. But I hear stories like this all the time within the black and Hispanic communities.
So I am left wondering…
What are we not teaching our children?
Wasn’t there a time era where whites and community were in the same sentence. Perhaps not.
Anyone care to share their thoughts? I need to think more on this…