It’s never bothered me

When I was a teen I use to have kids talk about certain brand names that I’d never heard of. We shopped at K-Mart for nearly everything. That is all I knew. They also talked about places I never heard of. I remember being in the 6th grade when a friend told me she was going to Ontario, and I asked where that was. I can still see her shocked expression and remember her calling other girls over to tell them all that I didn’t know where Ontario was.

In later teen and young adult years I started shopping at the mall, so become familiar with Mall brands. Places, not so much. Although it’s been a while since someone mention a place to me. So who knows. We all have Google now, so really, who cares?! Lol

In latter life, I still had/have people talking about brands and sometimes cars, and electronics. Throughout my life I have had people talk about things that I did not know about. Or perhaps I knew and forgot. And you know what? It never bothered me then and still doesn’t bother me now. That said, pushing fifty, I do know that I’m bothered less and less with each passing year. I was told years and years ago that this happens to almost everyone. (Hasn’t happened to my mother yet, and she’s seventy!) I have come to the conclusion that the more you are upright and bothered, the quality of life seems to fit your feelings.

I remember talking to a lady back in 2001, who later became my very best friend. In fact, this topic is fresh on my mind because I talked to her today and she mentioned The Office, a series that everyone on the planet has seen apparently, except me. And again, doesn’t bother me. I just listened to her. Then she explained how something I said reminded her of a particular character of the Office, and we both had a laugh, and that was that.

I have been told in the past that it should bother me. That being in the loop of pop culture and all that, is a good thing.

And it’s not to say that I know nothing about things that are popular, because I do. But it does not bother me when my peers (as a kid) and now as an adult, are talking about something that I don’t know anything about. I don’t feel left out or anything.

Now to discuss a few things, mostly movies and TV shows that my friends mention all the time, that I just have not seen. Some, I’ve tried to get into, such as The Office, Schitts Creek, Modern Family, New Girl, Greys Anatomy, Orange is the New Black, Ozark, The Big Band Theory, Parks & Recreation, CSI, and Family Matters, just to name some off the top of my head. Which took a moment. There really is so many shows I have never seen. And it’s not like I don’t have access to them. I do!

I would say that most of my friends have seen, and are able to quote things from the above.

I was told once that I’m not much fun if I don’t understand a quote from a show. Needless to say, that friendship did not last. Lol

I have learned in life that it’s not what you have in common that bonds ties, but what you don’t.

Being able to except each other’s differences and still be fully able to share our passions and interests is what really matters. And besides, my grandma use to say that I could have a full blown conversation with my shadow if I had the chance.

I’m just not bothered by the little things. It just doesn’t matter.

Old Friends..

I had a friend randomly find me on Twitter a few days ago.

She was my very first friend that I made in my little town, back in 2006. We met on free cycle exchanging garden seeds I think, then found out her family lived right down the street from me. We had lots in common. So much so, it was eerie.

She was originally from Florida like me. Had a baby at sixteen and put him up for adoption. Had five kids and was a homeschool mom. Not to mention church history…Very odd to me. But I have found that the Lord puts certain people in your life at certain times to teach you certain things about yourself. Well, and others. But mostly about yourself.

So apparently, a mutual friend from a website that my husband had (GFC) reached out to her on Facebook, and was asking about me. Then a couple weeks later, she said an unknown person also asked her if she knew whatever happen to me. She said it was through a FB game.

I don’t know why, but I chuckled at the though. Maybe it was the way she relayed it all to me. They say that with today’s technology you can find anyone, anywhere, at any given time.. yet, people can’t seem to find me because i am

Not on Facebook or Instagram. I like that! Lol

Anyhoo, she ended up calling me and we talked for a couple of hours and while her life has taken a polar opposite of mine, and she moved back down South years ago, it was nice to catch up. Different lives though…

I left Facebook, I believe five years ago. I’ve honestly lost track. As so much has changed in the past five years. It really was the best thing I ever have done. Leaving that is. For my mental health. I truly believe that social media changes you. I don’t feel like it’s good for anyone’s mental health, honestly.

I had so many online relationships that it consumed me. God! I wish I could have all those hours back. So many people needed a friend to just listen, and the truth is, for that time I was their friend. I became everyone’s sounding board. People needed to talk t try o me every single day in order to get on with their own days. This lady in Spain comes to mind when I think k of everyone as a while. She had shared her daily bearings from her husband with me in detail. Along with her body pain and being forced to work the streets. She felt suicidal on the daily and said that talking to me each day helped her to carry on. I sent her care packages a few times.

I learned that most people need a Therapist to confine in. Most everyone could benefit from a non-bias person to just listen to them. I was that person for years. For many!

And it ended up making me need a person to talk to, listen to me. It was an awful feeling. So looking back now, I realize how how and why having many people in your life never works.

Looking back, I simply could not keep up with everyone’s daily lives. I had people from Israel, Spain, France, the UK, and India, talking to me on the daily. Not t trying mention the US… Telling me all about their lives. Mostly complaining. I remember a couple of sisters who would mention that their country would not allow them to google certain things. They would ask me to google things for them and pass on the information. Nothing shady! Just medical advice and relationship things. Very odd! They were very nice and had dreams to move to the USA some day and meet up.

My eight years of Social Media had its place for sure. No regrets, persay, because I learned an awful lot. About myself, and how much we all have in common. As a whole.

But for my own health, I simply can not maintain that caliber of humans in my life. Even less, as I’m getting older. People come and people go, and where one time in my life that deeply saddened me, it does not anymore. I’m very happy with the few quality friends that I currently have right now. And as far as social media, I only have one friend in Kansas that has stayed in my life and I do consider a real friend. Facebook and Instagram will never have a place in my life. Despite them being valuable with my reselling business. And I’m Told a social media presence would make me more money, but the simple truth is, the cons outweigh the pros 100%.

I sometimes wish I knew what I know now, but in my twenties and thirties. But then again, it was all part of my life journey and walk with God, so I guess not. I simply can’t have regrets because everything happens for a reason and letting things happen organically, is something I’ve always preached. My OCD use to get in the way of that, but no more. Christ truly does heal all. Amen and Amen.

State of Mind

I went to bed last night irritated.

I started praying and then laid still to meditate for a bit.

I then instantly realized that I was irritated because I left the house for four hours.

We went out for a drive, then out to eat, and then another drive.

I was off of the routine that I’ve been so happily sticking with for the past month.

I’ve never considered myself as a routine type of person, as I get bored so easily, yet, I thrive best when I’m on a routine.

Not just any routine either, but one that involves many things.

I also have been really enjoying my hobbies since being at home. Not to mention, cooking.

I did not cook yesterday, or sew.

I worked and took my evening walk, and the remainder of the day we were in the car out.

Today on the other hand was different. I worked, took my walk, sewed, did some organizing, and watched a movie with the kids and primped a bit.

I’m genuinely happy!

Friday (Journal Entry)

First world problems. I know.
I’ve been a bit more stressed as of late.

 Meaning, the past week. 

I kind of feel like I know why, but then all the little, somewhat silly things add to it. 

Between homeschooling, wife & mother, the gym, and reselling full time, I have very little time for myself. 
Things that are simple, yet bring me joy, keep getting pushed to the curb. And when I do have the free time to do them; I’m simply too tired. 
Such as- 

Perming my eyelashes

Coloring my hair

Doing my nails

Making appointments

Returning phone calls & texts

Or just chilling out like everyone else, watching Stranger Things. 

I read that another blogger started Hallmark movies, and I can’t even bring myself to watch them, because for the past five years that was something I would do with my two eldest daughters. And they both are rarely home anymore. And my two younger daughters don’t like watching TV. 

I did go ahead and purchase several of our favorite ones though, so when my daughters are home for the Holidays, we can binge watch together. Love at the Christmas table is one of our very favorites. It just never gets old. ❤️

I miss not being busy. And I feel bad for saying that. Because busyness means you have a life!

 Or so I’m told. 😐
They say that the more free time a person has the more time they have to think and dissect every little aspect of their life.. Instead of leaving it at the cross.

We have all been there before..and sometimes it’s not the best place for one to be. 

 I’m always tell my kids to strike while the irons hot, for we don’t know what tomorrow brings. 
Things change quickly, that I feel you must do everything you can now. 

People’s finances and health are the first two things to go. Generally speaking. 
So if you are capable to getting everything done now, then you should. Which includes bucket lists. Feel blessed because you are still capable to be busy.

Waiting only leads to regrets.. and no one has time for that, also.

I don’t want this to come off as complaining; more so, thinking out loud…. 
Life.
Time.

They sure do throw you a lot of curve balls.

Therefore we need to keep striving. Whether we fail or not.. keep on going! 

And on a brighter note, I am planning our December and January vacations right now. 

Also, look at this fabulous breakfast I’m about ready to indulge in. I have been drinking a gallon of water a day for the past week. 

And I actually have a drinking water support group. What has my life become?! Lol
This Breakfast for Champions includes:

Quart of water

Starbucks carmel Coffee with carmel Almond creamer.

Green Smoothie: Swiss chard, kale, Spinich, banana, chlorella, turmeric, and water.  

1/2 cup of plain Cabot Greek yogurt topped with Raw chocolate nibs, frozen raspberries and raw honey.
Vitamins are split into every quart of water I drink. There here are 4 omegas and two herbal thyroid tabs. 

With my kids being older, they prepare their own breakfasts when they wake up. I try to have my morning breakfast and devotion beforehand. 

 

#4 Periods & The Eclipse 

(Ladies Only Post) 

But of course if you are interested.. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I debated on whether or not to write about something so personal, but I have asked a couple close girl-friends, and it appears that it’s a thing.

If you are still in that fertile age bracket, that is. 

(What I’m about to share here)

So, I woke up the other day to a unexpected cycle. Not only that, my daughters did too. 
None of us was expecting this. 

Twice in the same thirty day cycle, is just not something that anyone is prepared for….I assure you. 

So I called my OBGYN. She said that she’s had many women call this past week regarding their cycles…She gave me a few thoughts.

 Then off the record, she mentioned that it may have something to do with the Eclipse that just occurred last month. 😳

After I hung up, I Googled. 

And My! My! My!

Information overload! It sure was interesting. 

Some sites claim that your cycle is controlled by the moon. And  that it goes back to Bible days. 

Some say it’s all complete nonsense, and that Science can’t back up any of it. So there simply IS no reason.😐

So. Is it a coincidence? My opinion is no. But that’s just my opinion.

I guess we will never know for certain. 😔

#3 Two Quotes 

I heard two great quotes today.

Magical things start to happen when you remove negative people from your life. You are a product of the 5 closest people in your life. Family or Friends.


And-
Success is on the other side of comfort zone.


~I feel like I can relate to both of these quotes, as I have put them both into action this past year.  


#2 Fundraisers to Flannels

Ten years ago; give or take, I had a very different life style. Two tweens and three kids under five had me pretty busy. Not that I’m not busy now, but it’s a different type of busy. And looking back, it’s not that I prefer one over the other. In fact, life is simply going by too fast and I wish I could rewind it and relive certain parts over again. I love life!

I’m still homeschooling my children, while teaching and encouraging others. (If they feel led)
I’m still doing fun things in my free time…golf, tennis, dining out, and of course, shopping..

Mainly things that require me to be, well, casual… which is what this little ‘thinking out loud’ post is about.

While cleaning my closet last night; something I only do twice a year, I started realizing how many dressy clothes I have.

Did I use to go to a ton of different places that required me to dress up? Not really. I just use to dress up. It made me feel a certain way.

I use to only wear dresses, skirts, and blouses.

About fifteen years of my life. Actually.

Nowadays, I live in yoga pants and Eddie Bauer tees. Or a Ralph Lauren flannel on top of an Old Navy tee.

If I want to dress up, I wear my darker black yoga pants with a blouse. Satin or lace! It’s no  brainer. And ever so 1990’s, as my children like to say. 😁

Are yoga pants a step up from blue jeans, or a step down? The jury is still out on that one…

But currently, I’m just not a blue jeans type of gal.  So a dozen pairs of black yoga pants is what I choose from.

So where does this leave all my pretty, dressy,  clothing?

Do I sell it all now? Or wait it out to see if my style changes, feeling change,  yet again…

As stated in previous posts, my life revolves around how I feel.

Things make me feel good, bad, or uncertain.  And getting dressed up each day, for the sake of just dressing up, use to make me feel good.

Now it makes me feel uncertain. 

So I try to only dress up if I’m going to be dining out somewhere other then Chick fi’lay, but I have noticed that others generally don’t dress up for dining out anymore.

Even at fancy restaurants.

People use to dress up for the movies even. But nope! Not anymore. After all… no one sees you anyways, so I guess why bother? Is that the mind frame?

I am looking around and realizing…..

Hey! I finally blend in! I really do look like everyone else now. Basic. And maybe that is A-Okay. 🙂

One of my daughters just got back from Europe. She said that everyone dresses up if they are out in the public eye.  Meaning, no sports wear attire. No leggings, sweats, and definetly no yoga pants and tees. If you are in the public eye, you look your best. And mentally,  I do love that!

This makes me question why America is different. Didn’t people use to dress up? I know for church, events, and dining out they did… but something has changed in the past couple decades.. Everyone looks the same.

And I guess I’m just late for the party, per usual. 🙃
Do you all dress the same all the time? Regardless of where you are going. 

Do you find you blend on with everyone around you? 


Feeling Blessed

Maybe it’s just because it’s September, or maybe because business has been booming, and I just treated myself to a new sewing machine, and sewing things brings me joy!

Whatever the reason, I’m feeling insanely blessed today. 

I have set goals for myself this past year and have exceeded every one! 

Man! That feels good!

I’m praising God for all his love, devotion, and  faithfulness to me.
Also, I’m going to see Beth Moore in a couple weeks. Looking forward to that refreshment. 

James 4:8

What happened to being excited?

I have been thinking about my life lately and how I’m not as excited as I once was.

Once, being  five or six years ago.

I use to feel excited going to the gym. Yes! For real. 
Out for coffee.

I use to get excited going out to dinner.

Dressing up. 

Going to the movies.

Getting my hair and nails done.

I use to get excited buying myself a new outfit.

New craft supplies.

I use to get excited hanging out with friends.

Talking about being excited….yes!

I can probably go on, but you get the point.

Fast forward: I simply do not get excited at all anymore.

And I miss that feeling. So much!


I went ahead and watched a few YouTube videos the other day of people a lot younger then myself  who are experiencing this same thing.

This got me thinking about how ‘as a society’ things are completely at our beckon call. For the most part…

If you are not home and get hungry or thirsty, you just go through a drive-thru or out to eat. It’s not a big deal…And sometimes every single day.
Back when I was a kid, and even young adult, we waited until we got home.

Why waste money eating out all the time?

That was reserved for special occasions, holidays, anniversaries, birthdays, etc.

I also use to save up for things that I wanted.

But now I simply just treat myself.  Because why not?

It seems like this generation is doing better then ever. And everyone wants a piece.

So many young people reach millionaire status by the time they are 25. Not as many kids are choosing college and career, because they know that they can become a millionaire by just marketing themselves. Or using technology and inventing something that everyone thinks they need. It’s so easy to convince someone that they need something.
A lot has to do with being social influencers. Which use to be only reserved to celebritys.

It’s a generation thing that does not seem to be going anywhere. Not that I’m bashing it, I just want to know where the balance should be.

I know of ladies middle age and up, who have hopped on this overnight success bandwagon.  It astounds me. People just decide to transform their life, and within a couple years… they are rich & famous. They say this is ‘the me generation’ and perhaps they are right.

People are motivated to not live the lives of their parents, or grandparents. They want more! And they are getting more.

But at what cost?

This brings me right back to happiness and excitement.
I’ve always thought that three things in life would bring our nation happiness.

1. World Peace

2. Independent wealth

3. Everyone worships the same God.

So what would this look like?  On an earthly platform.

What if we had world peace. No wars. No need for military. Everyone just got along. ‘Peacefully’

What if we were all independently wealthy.

Maybe there was no need for money of any kind.

Or maybe we all enjoyed our jobs, therefore we were always in a good mood. We got along with everyone. We enjoyed our work environments completely.

We also were all the same religion.

Everything just was….

In a world that has become so fast paced, with so much wealth….

Why do we have more depressed/sucidal people then ever before?

Is it because we have arrived? 

We have nothing to look forward to. 

I’m not talking spiritually. I know we have Heaven to look forward to if we are Christians. I’m referring to here. On earth. 
The excitement. 

Where oh where has it gone?

And more importantly, how can we get it back?

Thoughts?

Do you ever…

Do you ever see something you like, buy it, then come home and try it on…only to realize it’s just not you?

This bothers me so much!
We are told that if we like something, wear it!

After the neon 80’s, I have always dressed in more of a Boho/Hippie-like fashion. 

Long skirts, floral dresses, dangly earrings, feathers, flowy tops. 

You know, a toned down Mrs. Roper. Lol

Oh! And if I’m feeling really confident, form fitting athletic wear. I feel good in my yoga pants too. (Not to be confused with leggings.)

But I REALLY love the pink,girly, frilly, fancy, dressy wear.

I love designer bags and carry them with my bohemian attire…Fully knowing how ridiculous it looks. But I also carry my World Market/Whole Foods, patchwork purses too. I love both!

So recently I’ve boughten myself some dress slacks and button ups to match the designer bags.

But…

I feel like someone other then myself when I look in the mirror.

I feel confident, but not myself. Why can’t I just feel the same in everything?

Anyone ever feel this way?