Feeling loved by a parent 

Seems like such an easy thing to feel. Or is it too much to ask for?

Feeling loved by your parents.

I imagine the very first love a baby feels is from his or her mother. Or perhaps who ever baby first longenly gazes at.  I think feeling warm and comforted when a baby cries is the very first time a baby experiences love.

I like to imagine that is where and how a baby first experiences love. Of course I very well could be wrong. It’s just what I imagine.

Should we expect that same love that we  first felt from a parent or guardian as full grown adults?

My personal opinion, is YES!

Being a middle age woman myself, I’m just now realizing the truth about certain lives. Or perhaps ive always known, but am just now accepting this truth. 

Personal experience:

My mother raised me and gave me many materialistic things that all my classmates had growing up. She wasn’t affectionate. Rarely vulnerable, and rarely home. 

While I was at school she was home, and as soon as I got home she left till the wee hours of the morning. I still wonder why she didn’t work while I was at school to be home with me after school. But I guess she really wasn’t ever cut out to be a mother or parent. At least that is what her older sister has shared with me.

But I had all that I needed, and most of my wants. And as a child, that meant something to me.

Yet… I never felt as though she loved me.

I think it’s always been a voided sort of feeling. Looking back on my childhood as an adult now. I know she had/ has no idea how to love anyone. Perhaps not even herself. Sad really.

Being a full time mother myself, I clearly know what a parent/child love feels like. It’s deep, personal, and the greatest feeling ever imaginable. 

My mom did not have all that many men in her life, but when she did… they always, ALWAYS came first. 

She also has always played the victim card on being a single mother with two kids. And how awful that was for her. And she deserves happiness.

Now I can’t relate to that, but I do know that it’s not something you should spend 30+ years shoving down your kids throats. How awful it was. Yet there has rarely been any conversation that has not ended with that phrase.

 I also know that a loving parent should not always make their child feel bad over their childhood, etc. (the poor me syndrome) It’s terribly selfish. 
A parent should be encouraging and excited when their children do well for themselves and are happy. And don’t have to suffer as they had growing up. 

They should not always bring it all back to themselves and guilt trip their children time and time again. That is NOT LOVE. 

Well, this is what many children go through on the daily. I’m certainly no exception. 
I have spent my whole life wondering if something was wrong with me because I felt nothing towards my mother. Always having to fake it. 

I’ve spent years trying to force it. I do believe there was this one time that I cried because she was leaving. She was moving to another state, and I had two small children that were going to be growing up with no grandparent. Looking back now, I know it was more of an attachment thing. Not love. I look back now and know how miserable I would have been, had she not moved to another state.

I’ve spent years going down to visit her each year, but I’ve always come back stressed and agitated. I’ve felt it was my duty as her daughter. So I’ve always tried to cator to her.

But she’s all alone because of her selfishness. It’s always been all about her and what she feels entitled too. And it always ends up with the phrase… “because of all I’ve had to sacrifice being a single mother with two kids”

It has not been an easy decision, but I’ve finally realized that I do not own my mother anything. I do not need to force a relationship with her, in hopes for a couple bread crumbs of genuine love.

Moving right along… 

Yes, I have a father too. I didn’t actually grow up with him 24/7, because my mother had custody and we lived in different states. I did see him though. And he’s always been up front with why he always strayed, sort of speak. 

You see, my father is the polar opposite of my mother. Very affectionate and loving. Some may say, too affectionate. Borderline suffocating. But none the less, overbearingly loving. 

My father never gave me anything though. Well, except my life. But I’m talking about  needs and wants. No child support. 

Mother spent years telling me that he use to threaten her, that if she ever divorced him, then he wouldn’t pay a dime. And he kept that promise. Yes. Messed very up. I know! But then most things are.. such as this earthly life…

That shared.. I have never doubted his love for me. Go figure..

This has confused me this past month. I may write about it again in the future. It helps.

But for now, I do have some closure. 

My eyes have been open. 

Two months ago, I was still in denial. 

And no one can ever place a price tag on closure

Pieolgy Pizzeria

We tried another new place tonight, called Pieolgy Pizzeria. It reminded me of a Chipolte, but for pizza. Same set up and atmosphere. Very reasonably priced. $8.95 per person. They have white and wheat crusts available, and for $2 more, gluten free options.

Tooth contouring 

I had some tooth contouring done a few days ago. The dentist offered to square off my upper two pointer teethalso, but I declined. 

I know they are meant to be a bit pointy. The ones that were bothering me the most were my two front teeth.

 I’m happy with them now!

I didn’t have any sensitivity like some people do. But they recommend that you wait a week before whitening them. 

The procedure is quite cheap, even without insurance. $110 for two teeth.

No Novocain or anything like that. It’s like a electric tooth filer. It only took 10 minutes total. 

Has anyone else ever had this done before?

Aquadilla, Puerto Rico 2017

Random pictures from vacation. 
Crash Boat Beach

Cortazon fruit.

It tasted like a sweet custard. It also had watermelon-like seeds.

Just chilling on the patio.

Pretending to be a sleep. 

Ordering some pastries and a salad.

Oh! And French fries with cheese and salami, which is kinda a thing..

My chicken ceaser salad. 

She simply can’t decide which birthday cake to decide.

She finally decided on this one.

The grocery store sales add. Milk is regularly $8 a gallon. And font get me started on how much cheese and butter is. 

DIY Lancôme-Like Highlighter

When the new Lancôme blusher launched earlier this year, it sold out within the first couple days. Online reviews were just meh, but the idea of a beautiful flower blusher being displayed on your nightstand or vanity, is why I wanted to make a DIY make of it.
I have plenty of blushes, so opted for a cheekbone highlighter version. 
Here is the Lancôme one. It’s in a pretty pink cardboard container.

Price: $60

It’s beautiful!

I went to Dollar Tree and bought a flower, and glass jar.

I had pebbles that I recently bought at Michael’s Crafts for half off, so I added some of them to the bottom of the jar.

Then I glued just the flower part of the Flower into the pebbles. I used E-6000 glue. I find it works best for most crafts.

Then I took a face primer that I already had in hand, (a mini Smashbox one) And I painted each petal to give it a ‘face friendly adhesive’ 

Lastly, I sprinkled a trial size Bare Minerals highlighter all over the petals.
I need to add more to turn the white rose completely pink. 

I tried it this morning. It works perfectly! 

I will be displaying this pretty highlighter in the bathroom next to my makeup caddy.

Is it needed? Not at all. 

Does it make me smile each time I look at it? Sure does! 🙂

Total cost: $5


Year End in pictures 2016

You can always count on your animal friends to remain faithful in your life.

My mini me. Gosh I love her so much!

This little doll manages to always put a smile on my face. When she’s asleep, I just want to wake her up to tell her how much I love her!

Newest snowglobe from Target.

New cut and color. People say it’s very old fashion. But that’s who I am..Old fashion. 😉

Happy homemade cupcakes for daughters 12th birthday. 😃

When your teen daughter grabs her phone and catches you off guard for a selfie. 😐

Off to a Christmas party! 🎄

Such a funny sign!

Tanglewood 2016

Our Gingerbread village, because houses are too mainstream.

Vera Bradley land! 😍

Stopping in the tunnel downtown to write an encouraging message.

Pure Beauty! Pilot Mountain state park in North Carolina.

Again, pure beauty was captured at the artists hand.

There is something special about succulents. Aka’chickens & hens.

When your OCTD keeps imagining that this gorgeous chandelier above your head will undoubtedly fall down and crush you into a million pieces…😐

She was beyond happy.  Video is posted on YouTube of her opening it up.

These tasted as good as they looked. And they looked dang great on my new silver platter. 😉

Family pictures are always an adventure, trying to get everyone to look natural, and smile.

A tiger mask from Sephora that my niece gifted me.

This is what it looks like for anyone who wants to try it. 😉

My new phone case for my new phone that finally arrived. It’s so putty! And makes me smile just looking at it. 😁

A new game from my SIL. Apparently it came out in the late 70’s, yet this is the first I’ve ever heard of it. What a derogatory name though. Guess a man invented it. 🤔🙃

My gorgeous intelligent son who lights up my life on so many levels…❤

And there you have it folks. The last few months of my life. 

 I’m going to be a lot more active come 2017. We are getting ready to take an amazing vacation in a few days. I will be posting many pictures here. 

I also have many topics I will be writing about. 🙂

Homemade Cold Stone ice-cream

We went to Cold Stone Creamery fit date night a few weeks ago. Two sundaes, $14!
I came home and googled homemade Colf Stone Creamery icecream,  which took me straight to YouTube.
As long as you have a Pampered Chef stoneware, you can make this too. 
I used my Pampered Chef cookie sheet.

I placed it in the freezer for ten minutes. 

Then took it out and placed a healthy scoop of ice cream on it. I added some fixings. For me, I added a few vanilla wafers and a banana. 

Then using my Papered Chef slicer, I began to cut the wafers and banana into the ice cream. 

Just a few minutes later….wa’la!

Banana Pudding Cold stone ice cream. 

Cost: .50 per serving.

DIY Reese’s 3 ingredients 

The Crafty Mummy

oops.. I did it again!DIY Twix barhas been the most popular post on my blog so far! 111 bloggers liked it.. So I felt like I need to keep you inspired to make unhealthy treats😆 while the homemade Twix bars lasted around a day in my house, Reese’s disappeared from the plate within 3 hours! (blame my hubby!😂)

melt chocolate in metal bow mix peanut butter with icing sugar

put them away in cold place (fridge is good idea) for about an hour

and voilà…

Bon Appetite!

Have a lovely weekend

I’m heading to A Fabulous Market (in Dublin’s George Bar) tomorrow to promote our littleCute Kitschbusiness, wish me luck!

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