Getting older/Change

When I was in my mid-30’s I was so excited to see the world ever changing, but now being in my mid 40’s, it’s somehow depressing me.

Maybe it’s change. We are humans of habit, and having a world that is ever changing is oftentimes hard to keep up with. I use to love technology, and now I sometimes wish it didn’t exist. I have wasted so much time online that I want all that time back! But it’s too late.

Looking back to my life five years ago, change didn’t bother me at all. But now I’m realizing that it is effecting my day to day living.

I’m feeling as If I don’t know where to go from here. Like I want to stop time.

So my only guess, is that I’m getting older and coming to the conclusion that everyone has been through this at one point and time. Or will!

Life also seems to be going by much quicker then it did just five years ago.

My body is not what it was, nor my mind, and how I saw the world and people. There is so much hurt in the world that we don’t always think about. Frankly, it’s depressing to think so much on. Yet it’s hard to ignore because everything is in your face.

I sometimes wonder if this is how our grandparents felt when the television became a household add-on.

Before that you received the daily newspaper and either read it or not. Then televisions bombarded the homes with local and world news.

And now, it’s the internet.

Even if you use it sparely, you can never escape the ADS. And if you don’t choose to read what’s happening on the day to day, you have people telling you about it, or overhearing it in passing. Every single thing focuses around the Internet.

So yes, if it sounds like I’m depressed, I am.

It’s so hard to not compare myself with others my age who are still full of energy and zest; living for the moment. Welcoming change.

How I wish I had that mind frame back. Because for many years that is how I lived my life.

But life is not all fun and games and change is inevitable. More then often, hurtful.

I am struggling to find the balance.

I have so much planned for this year still. Things that have been already been paid for. Things have been ordered, and life is already written on the calendar and for the most part, planned out.

I’m told that THAT helps to not fall into depression. Organizing. Planning.

Even so, I feel as if I’m just going through the motions..

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I Gave You A Mother

I am the mother I always dreamt of having myself.

I gave you my TIME.

My mother was rarely around.

I home cooked all your breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and all of your Birthday cakes from scratch.

My mother served me TV dinners.

I taught you how to cook.

My mother did not cook.

I played hours upon hours of games with you.

We talked. We laughed. We played some more.

I have no memories of playing any games with my mother.

I read many books to you that led to so many deep discussions about life and love.

I have no memory of my mother ever reading to me. Not even a bedtime story.

I taught you to read and write. I made the choice to homeschool you.

I was schooled at many different schools that left me with zero positivity on public education and self worth. Not to mention the social aspect of always being the new kid that didn’t fit in, which in return, warped my views on many friendships.

I gave you security and a stable home, family, and lifestyle honey.

I moved every year, oftentimes twice a year, up until you were born.

I dreamt on what it would feel like spending most of my childhood in one town and home. The security of knowing what to expect with each passing day.

I gave you that feeling that I wish I could have had, and experienced.

I gave you all your needs and most of your wants.

I gave you a Full Time Mother and a Full Time Father.

I gave you FOUR siblings and FOUR friends.

I grew up very alone.

And while all that is important to me, what’s even more important to me, is, I taught you about Christ.

I taught you about Gods Love for his children.

I taught you who the creator of this universe is.

I taught you that God loves you no matter what.

And how scripture IS your medicine during life’s ups and downs.

I taught you, and showed you, how much the Lord Loves you.

I grew up with no foundation of this. I wish I would have turned to God during all my loneliness, and all my heartbreaks.

So while I sit here and think about where I could have given you more, Iโ€™m coming up empty.

I gave you EVERYTHING that I always wished I would have had.

A Full Time Mother.

A Loving Mother.

A Mother who would make you feel special. Who would make you laugh beyond measure.

A Mother who wanted to be around you and spend quality time with you.

A Mother who would never see you as a burden.

A mistake.

An inconvenience.

A Mother who you trusted, and one that you knew Loved you no matter what.

A Mother who cared about YOU more then herself.

A Mother who would lay down her life for you.

A Mother who loves the Lord with all her Heart and Soul.

I Love You dear daughter of mine. I Love you SO much!

If I could have given you even more, you have to know that I would have.

But I gave you all that I had to give sweetheart.

I gave you a Full Time Mother.

I wish it would have been enough…

Going to Poshfest!

This year Poshmarks Poshfest will be held in Dallas,TX

I’m taking my daughter for her Birthday.

If any other Poshers come across this post, and have also managed to get tickets, please leave a message below. I’d love to formally meet you. ๐Ÿ˜€

I’m still unsure wheat hotel to book with. ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค“

Why Iโ€™m Against Unisex Bathrooms

I have been noticing that many places I’ve been visiting lately has had solely, Unisex/Co-ed bathrooms.

Last week I walked into one and my new white sneakers ended up in a pretty substantial puddle of men’s urine.

All around the floor of the toilet.

Like, I could not sit down and pee without my feet in the urine puddle.

Now I’m not sure if it was a blind man, or just a rather large dude that overflowed the toilet. I don’t know. But it disgusting and note worthy, stinky!

Then tonight at Whole Foods, there were two bathrooms. Both Unisex. The first one I went into had some urine on the floor, but nothing I couldn’t step over, but the toilet seat add at least six different pee spots on it.

So I just left and went to the other one, and while the floor was clean, despite the dozen or so flies, the seat was equally covered with pee.

I had to actually take a Clorox ripe from my purse to clean it before putting TP down. Gross!

Now I don’t blame a guy for not wanting to use his hands to touch the toilet seat to lift it, because there is probably several strands of something or other, on the seat, but if you are going to pee all over the seat, can you at least clean up after yourself?! Common curtesy people?

Use a paper towel, and then Wash Your Hands!

It’s so annoying!

And I realize this goes both ways..

If Aunt Flow leaves a trail of blood all over the seat, on the floor, etc…Clean it.

I personally, clean it up. It doesn’t matter if I’m at home, or out. If I must use a public restroom and a mess happens.. It literally only takes two seconds to clean up after yourself. Two seconds!

I am 100% certain that if women started leaving trails of blood all over the toilet seats, men would have an issue.

Women and Men should not be using the same public restrooms.

#rantover

Feeling overjoyed!

I am so proud how much my daughter has grown spiritually over this past year.

A while back she came to me and said it was time to get baptized. She knew this is what the Lord was telling her to do.

She is an Amazing young girl that shines so bright. ๐Ÿ’—

My mother heart beats so strong for you Krissy. May the Lord keep his hedge of protection around your life, and may you move mountains in his holy name… Always knowing what a precious Gift you truly are.

More vacation pictures..

Snapshots from yesterday. It was a lot of fun being trapped in all those mirrors with strangers, and no exit in site. Lol

My oldest and son also did a few hours sourcing. It was just meh, I found a couple pairs of shoes, yoga pants, and a sterling silver spaghetti scooper.

My son said the electronics were too picked over, and my daughter found a bunch of Lularoe pieces to sell.

On with the pictures:

And after being out from morning til night, I pampered myself with this new charcoal face mask. I was very pleased with the results. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Fun times on Vacation…

It’s just the little things when it comes to our family. Which is a super relaxed one.

So far we have lounged by the pool.

Hooked up with another homeschool family.

Ate out way too much.

Went to the mall.

Went to Royal Nails, which is said to be the best nail salon five years running. And yes they were!

Tomorrow we are taking the kids to Hannah’s Mirrored Maze. (Will post pictures then.)

We have been doing ubur again on vacation. It really is nice.

Per usual, the resort beds do not compare to our temperpedic back home, so I had to buy tiger balm for the back pain.

I also went to target and found this cute photo prob for eBay. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I have noticed a huge difference between people in SC, verses people in NC. I’ve never noticed it before. I won’t say which is which, but one state has friendly people then the other.

Ebay Update

A quick run down on this past years negative feed backs and returns.

For the amount of things I sell, which is roughly one hundred per month, I receive four returns per month. It is rare that someone is ugly, but it has happened a few times this past year.

These are the items where people were not very nice. Therefore, after they were handled with, they were added to my eBay blocked list. Ebay has this option for people who you do not care to do business with in the future, so it’s a must.

1. Authentic Gucci Guilty Parfume– Buyer claimed it arrived shattered, but did not want to go through post office protocol for insurance return claim.

I asked for a picture to submit as proof to the post office; seller refused. Then seller left a negative feedback claiming the Parfume bottle she received was empty. (This did result in a full refund because she filed an eBay claim.)

2. Burberry Inspired Plaid Wallet– Seller did not read title or description, stating that the wallet was a designer inspired Burberry look. She thought she got a new Authentic $220 Burberry wallet for $15. She filed a claim and received a refund while leaving me a negative feedback too.

(Not everyone is nice, I realize this is part of the real world, and business.)

3. Mens Sanita Clogs– Seller left a negative feedback stating that even though the shoes were new with tags, they fell apart on the job. This was fifty days after he received them. (Who is to say, but I am not the manufacturer of the brand, so he did not get a refund.)

4. Travelers knit skirt– Seller claimed that the skirt arrived with a heavy gasoline smell. Seller never contacted me before leaving a negative feedback.

I state that I prewash everything in Arm & Hammer detergent, ‘Fresh Scent’ and that if you have any allergies, to please not purchase from me. Regardless, seller left a negative feedback.

Also…Arm & Hammers detergent doesn’t smell like gasoline. Does it? ๐Ÿค”

I politely contacted her for an explanation. She stood firm that the skirt smelled like gasoline. I offered her a refund in return for her to remove the negative feedback. Which she did. She also apologized to me, and it turned out that she was a seller also.

5. Urban Decay Foundation– This was listed as a new without box face Foundation. I bought it and it was too dark for me, so I sold it.

I stated twice, that I did not have the box anymore. Seller left me a negative that said it was good, but had no box. I didn’t contact her or refund her. She did not file any claims.

So there you have it. These were all the bad apples that I had for 2017, regarding eBay.

I did have another lady that threatens to leave me a negative if I didn’t XYZ… and I reported her.

urrently I am Expecting two more returns. Both from people who said that the items did not fit. Which is fine. I do make sure that I always list the garments measurements. But these things happen. Measurements are a must if you are a clothing seller. Of course I do find it odd at times, because I buy things second hand all the time, and never pull out a tape measure beforehand. I also never bother trying anything on at the mall, Marshall’s, TJ Max, etc. I know my size, and what fits.

I’m not a return it type of gal either. I have bought plenty on eBay in the past that didn’t fit, but I can’t be bothered with returns, so I use to just pass things onto friends. Nowadays, I simply resell them. I have a fair amount of resellers who purchase from me, and then return if they don’t like the fit.

In my mind, I’m always thinking… you are a seller, why don’t you just resell the item on your account? Why bother with a return..

t is also interesting to note that the people who pay $9-15 for an item, are generally the ones that return them.

This group of buyers are even responsible for paying to have the item returned to me.

So if sell a item for $14.99, the buyer pays $7.20 also, for shipping.

Then they pay $7.20 a second time to receive the $14.99 refund back. But really, they are only getting $7.79 back. ๐Ÿค”

So if you want less returns, I have found that selling items over $20 is the way to go. Currently my average is $26

I am hoping to get it to double that by this time next year.

Blocking someone on eBay is very easy to do.

Bye-Bye Frumpy Girl!

I am not sure what it is about the colder weather that always makes me feel so frumpy and grumpy.

Perhaps it is because with the colder weather I am not feeling very cute with layers upon layers of clothing.

Being a plus size woman, big oversized coats and sweaters always make me feel like a beach whale. And I’m not saying that everyone looks or feels like this if they are packing a few extra pounds, but for me… I just feel frumpy. And it really does affect me.

I still have 2x and 3x clothing in my closet that are simply too big. Yet, I keep reaching for them because they are oversized and cozy.

But then I feel so frumpy with shirts hanging off my shoulders revealing my bra straps.. and baggy in the middle, which causes me to question… am I wearing a maternity top?! ๐Ÿคจ

So no more! I’m back in full force at the gym and currently fasting, so I really have no plans of ever needing the larger size clothes anymore, despite me reaching for them constantly.

I know that when I dress more tailored and wear more fitted clothing, I feel my best. I feel motivated, and put together. Not like a middle aged frump!

I still love my yoga pants and livi tees, but I need to get rid of all the 2x abs 3x clothing and only leave my 1x clothing.

I am finding that while I am out sourcing 5x a week now, I am simply not taking care of myself the way I once did. And I’m disappointed in myself.

So that, is yet another New Years Resolution I plan to put into action this week.

When I take some time for myself, it benefits everyone and everything around me.

2018 New Years Resolutions

Diet, Fast, Circuit train

No dairy, sugar month on January

Gallon of water a day in January

Learn one new thing EVERY DAY.

Ex: Are people who live in the desert climates more healthier then the rest of us? ๐Ÿค”

Spend less time on YouTube

More time playing board games with the kids.

More time outside

Cook more at home

Double my profit on eBay by December 2018

Travel more

I’m sure I’ll be adding to this list. ๐Ÿ˜‰< strong>Anyone else jumping on the New Years Resolutions train this time around? ๐Ÿ˜

Oh! I am also living on the edge on this very last day of 2017.