Behind the Scenes

I’m feeling so torn over something that happened at Church last Sunday.

I’m not sure why it’s bothering me so much. I’ve been trying to pray it away, but I’m still torn.

Sunday-

During baptism I was standing at the alter with a bunch of others. Prayer and worship was happening and songs we’re being belted out.

In the mist of worship, the assistant pastor passed along the side of where I was standing.

He was tring to motion to his wife, who was doing the baptizing that morning.

The motioning of his hands to his wife broke my attention to the band that was singing on the stage.

He told his wife to ”HURRY IT UP”

I read his lips.

Then his wife said, ”I’m trying”

I am sure I’m not the only one who noticed. Or perhaps I was the only one who was bothered by it. 😔

I generally never stand up by the alter, but the past few times that I have, I have noticed how everything is never random, like I have thought all these years.

It feels very orchestrated and planned out. Right down to each song and things people on stage share at particular times to get people to let go, feel, etc.

An example of this would be a sadder song being sung and then a louder upbeat song sung.

Once some of the people start shouting or verbally praising out loud, that is when someone on the stage says that God has now entered the room and is asking for everyone to let go and praise the Lord louder and not hold back.

Again, I’m not NOT happy with our church. I’m getting fed.

But ever since I’ve sat in the front it’s been hard not to notice these things. The things that the majority of folks are not witnessing/seeing.

Lots of hand motions to everyone on the stage. Sometimes motioning to say another line to a song. (I have noticed this when the congregation starts to get extra loud)

And by repeating a song line or two, it seems to get more of a reaction by the members.

I never noticed any of these things sitting farther back.. I am now upset that I’ve witnessed so much.

This has me wondering if the families whom I was once close too, but have now left the church, noticed these things also, and then could not remain blinded.

It now feels like at the weekly church meetings, all this is planned out ahead of time.

Like someone starts the meeting with, ”What should we do this Sunday?” ”How should we make people feel?” ”Whats going to be beneficial for us?”

And that is just speculation of course.

And if that’s not enough, they brought back our senior pastor this past Sunday, who is currently on an overdue personal leave until mid October.

He came back this past Sunday, only to get up on stage and tell the congragation that offerings have been down by almost half, since he’s been on personal leave, and that he needs people to give a couple hundred more that day.

Then thanked everyone. And left! 😳

Again, everyone loves the senior pastor, so coming from him instead of one of the other pastors, would possibly move the people to give more.

I don’t think he felt good about it, but since he is employed by the church, it was most likely asked by the higher-ups to come back to say this.

Has anyone else ever experienced any of these things? Advice?

I’m not naive, I know every church has it’s politics, etc.

But that said,

How do people that work for the church turn a blind eye to the manipulation parts?