November 11, 2019

Two more gifts to buy and I’m done with my Holiday shopping.

It’s been a hectic year but the Lord is turning things around for his glory. As he always does.

•This past week has been a lot of family fun. We started baking and watching Christmas movies together. We see also going through the Under the Dome series with my three teens. They are so in to the storyline.

•We will be heading to the Mall tomorrow to check out what’s new and then find it cheaper online. 😁 It’s just fun to browse.

•My best friend is coming back from Texas at the end of the week. She’s been gone for a month. Then In two weeks, we will be off to Pennsylvania for a Thanksgiving get together with some old friends. We have not been up that way in years and are really looking forward to it.

•The weather here has now dropped to the 20’s. We got some flurries earlier but that is about it.

Time to break out all the winter coats and attire. I bought myself four new sweaters this season and a pair of cashmere gloves. I’m really making an effort to look put together again. I feel as you age, you tend to slack off with whet you wear, and in return, it makes you feel lazy in other areas of your life. Working at home does not require me to get dressed up, do I generally throw on some yoga pants and a tee. No shoes or makeup. I’m trying to find a balance.

•I have been so much more productive since changing my ADHD medicine. My doctor doubled it completely. It has been a full month now and I have pleasantly surprised. It is hard to believe that one can feel this good.

I was taking one that just took the edge off and made me tired all the time. But after much prayer, I decided to give something else a try and I’m so had that I did.

I remember in third grade a teacher told my mom that I definitely had ADD, but my mom disagreed, and that was the end of that.

That said, I’m glad that I was not put on this medication at such a young age.

I think that is when the body has more side effects. Not to mention that a child’s brain is still developing and then adding a medication that messes with the brain…

So I’m happy to have made the decision myself as I’m adult.

What else?

That is basically my life update for this week.

Everything happens for a reason, and I’m trying to focus on the bigger picture to see what the Lord has planned next.

A Day in my Life

With Thanksgiving now approaching us I have decided to start focusing on all of my daily blessings.

My daily routines, that are seen to many people as mundane, are very much blessings in my life. As we age we care less and less about how others view us. I remember my friend Carnie telling me this back in 2003. Of course my young inexperienced self could not imagine this ever being true, but Praise the Lord that it is.

Below are two verses that have been close to my heart.

Psalm 5:3

“In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”

I don’t generally wake up and kiss the morning dew, sort of speak, as I’m not a morning person. After all, it was noon when Jesus met the Samaritan woman at the well. Not the crack of dawn. 😉

I do cherish my nights though.

Being a ”feeler type” (Empath) of person, there are certain feelings that attach themselves to almost everything I do.

So much so, if I’m having a bad day and wearing a red sweater during that day, the red sweater become associated with the bad feelings of the day.

This means that the sweater will either get thrown to the back of the closet for a season or get sold on one of the selling platforms I use for work. Thankfully there are more good days then bad.

Getting back to my basic day….

By the time I climb into bed my mind feels very content and my heart fills with much love on most nights. I feel a mental sense of peace. A peace that I would never be able to achieve without God in my life.

John 14:27 ”Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled.”

I have become very happy with the nightly process I go through to get ready to go to bed each and every night.

Yes, I have many steps that have become my own solid routine. One in which brings me much JOY!

After dinner, I spend quality time with my kids.

I’m currently going through a couple of series with them.

Full House and Family Ties, along with the occasional Gilligans Island. Sometimes we play Scrabble or RummiK. I leave it to you them to choose.

After a couple hours they go off to bed.

Then my oldest and I shop talk and share our Poshmark closets, and watch Either, The Love Boat or Golden Girls.

Yes! Lots of entertainment. But I have found it to lead to many of good conversations with the kids.

My husband goes to bed early because he takes do early, so we have quality time when he gets home from work.

Sometimes we all go for dinner, othertimes the movies, over to a friend’s house or out for a hike, or like today, we all went swimming together.

Around 11pm I start my nighttime routine that I look forward to each night.

Night Routine:

I close all the curtains and drapes in the house. I make sure the doors and windows are locked.

I give the kitchen counters one last wipe down.

I check the stove to make sure it’s off and wiped down.

I peek in the laundry room to see if there are any clothes that need to be transferred.

I pour myself a glass of water and prepare a tea.

I take the water and tea and place it next to my bed table.

I take a few sips of the tea, and then save the rest for the morning.

I don’t care that it gets cold.

I place my thyroid medicine next to the water, because at some point when I wake in the middle of the night from a dream, or to use the restroom that is when I take the thyroid medicine.

This medicine needs to be taken on a completely empty stomach and you can’t eat for a couple hours afterward.

So in the middle of the night is what works.

I then head to my bathroom and take down my hair and brush it.

I remove my makeup if I’m wearing any.

I wash my face with Dr. Bronners or Soap & Glory face cleanser.

Then I use a face mask of some kind.

Currently, it’s one by Kate Somerville.

Last week it was Glam Glow.

I change them up on the weekly.

Then I use a toner my face and put eye cream and vitamin C serum on it. Currently it’s all by the brand Sunday Riley.

I then use a lip scrub made by Sara Happ. Nothing else compares.

And lastly, a healthy dose of Sara Happ lip slip lip balm.

After that, I change into my nightgown and spritz myself with rose water, which makes me feel cozy and fresh after a long day.

By this point it is generally midnight.

I climb into bed and fluff my two pillows, after deciding which two to use that night.

We have eight bed pillows on our King size bed.

All different levels of firmness to softness.

Having so many pillows is also a blessing to me. They add to the nightly experience. My kids also have many on their beds. My youngest has said that she feels extra cozy with do many too. 🥰

I then decide which comforter I want to use that night.

Yes! Another blessing.

My husband is fussy with blankets and uses the same one each night. But have three.

One is a lightweight cotton quilt, one is a heavier afgan, and one is one of those weighted blankets that weighs 15lbs.

I like the variety.

After deciding, I feel a sense of ultimate comfort and settle in for the night.

I try to not wake hubby so I leave the light off during all of this.

I then settle in with my headphones and watch a couple educational YouTube videos while rolling my eyes over which videos are trending. Why I ask? Why?

This weeks trending videos have been about a guy who planted 20k trees in mind craft. Apparently, it was a spoof of another video of a guy who actually planted 20k trees.

Then we had someones baby shower video trending, a couple K-pop music Videos, and some life mistakes videos that were trending.

I rarely watch the trending videos. I just read the titles after catching up on the videos that I subscribe too.

After this, I put my phone to charge for the night and pray specifically for my family and friends.

I also use this time to talk to God.

God speaks to us in a whisper but is clearer when we are suffering and going through trials it seems.

I ask the Lord questions and then remain quiet to hear answers.

During this one on one God, I sometimes have visions but not every night. I then pray over the visions.

I generally fall asleep sometime between 1am-2am.

Yes, I started this blog backward, but that is okay. My ADHD always has my mind starting at the end and working my way back.

I generally start my day at 8 am.

My kids are much older now, so they are capable of getting themselves up and starting their day without my help.

When I wake up..I start my morning prayers. I also turn on my sunlight that was prescribed by my sleep specialist.

Then I use a electronic back massager that resembles a power drill but works amazingly on my sciatica.

I finish my tea and water that was placed by my bedside the previous evening.

I use a jade roller on my lymph nodes and face while in bed. I’m not actually sure if this does anything beneficial but it’s relaxing and it feels good do why not. Then I check my nightly sales, answer emails/texts and scan Twitter. I also get random strangers messaging me on my selling platform asking me how to start up.

Many people would not bother answering and just ignore, but I take the time to help. Over the Summer I actually led one of the women that messaged me to Christ. We talked for over a month, as she was ill, and eventually passed away. I’m blessed to have had the opportunity to have talked to her.

Okay, so I do lay in bed for almost an hour, before heading to the bathroom to shower, shave, and brush my teeth.

I keep a tiny refrigerator in my bathroom, as shown below. This homes my digestion/probiotic shots, Along with some kale and lemon-ginger juice. I choose one each morning!

I always have praise & worship music on during this morning bathroom routine. Sometimes I use Spotify.

Other times I play from my churches website, or just through the Klove APP.

After my shower, I self-tan if I feel the need too, and put my Retin-A, Tumeric oil, Vitamin C oil, and a bit of makeup on for the day.

For some women, so many little tasks seem meaningless, or maybe tedious to do on the daily, but for me it is self-care. Something I enjoy.

As well as a blessing to have the time to do all these tasks each day.

It was not always this way though.

When my kids were younger I was lucky to get a daily shower and shave.

But taking these steps and making them into my own self-care routine has made them into something I look forward to doing each and every day.

After the above, I go choose my outfit according to what I think I may be doing that day. If its out sourcing, I go for yoga pants and a graphic Tee and sneakers.

If I’m going to be home, it’s yoga pants and a blouse.

After that I head out to start my morning.

I check on the kids, who do Computer School.

I then sweep the kitchen floor and tidy up the kitchen.

I start wash if need be, and open up all the curtains.

Sometimes I’ll step outside and breath in the country air.

I then make sure the cats have food and water.

Then I either eat breakfast, or pull my nightly sales.

Presently, I sell about 5-10 things a day.

I sell on three different platforms.

If I pull my sales first, I put them on the table to wrap later, and then eat breakfast.

Breakfast is either eggs & toast, Apple oatmeal, Plain Greek Yogurt with raspberries and honey, Avacado & Tomato Toast, or a protein shake.

Whichever I feel like each morning. Again, a blessing to have so many options.

After breakfast my oldest daughter and I exchange any work related videos or news reports that we have come across since last speaking.

Then we decide who will work first.

Work involves washing, drying and steaming all the clothing items we resell. We also use at-home dry cleaning kits for all the coats and wool items.

It also involves polishing handbags, shoes and boots with mink oil.

Basically, giving old things that most would consider no good, and toss out, a brand new life!

It is the ultimate recycling business that keeps thousands of things off our landfill each year. Another Blessing!

I just checked my bookkeeping. I have sold just over two thousand things this past year!

And my daughter sells more then I do. That is a lot of recycling!

I generally let her work first.

We have one room that is set up with a professional backdrop and photo lights. It’s a tight squeeze, but it works and I’m blessed to have it.

We also both have mannequins that we use.

We also have started selling hardwoods these past few months, so use a card table with a backdrop to take our pictures on.

Hard goods consist of Fine china, silver, coffee cups, picture frames, etc.

Three of us cook now, so who’s ever turn it is to cook a hot meal that day starts around 1 or 2.

If the kids finish school before DH comes home, we do reading together and talk about life.

Today we read a few chapters of Moby Dick and talked about why the world keeps trying to emasculate women and feminize men.

Also, why feminists are not really about women‘s rights but seem to shame us women who really want and desire to be a stay at home wife or full-time mother. Or even choose to work at home. Why must we be shamed?

I really dislike all the division.

The kids have daily time to play on their Xbox while I journal or blog.

While doing so, I count my blessing once more.

How much of a blessed life that the Lord has given me, and how at times I have been blinded to his blessings whilenoff doing my own thing, leaving my eyes glued shut..

All because of selfishness.

Praise God that as we grow more to his likeness, our selfish tendencies start to melt away. At least this is how I’ve been experiencing it all.

Thinking about these times makes me feel grateful.

And knowing this sort of peace is rewarding.

When my life is enlined with Gods Will, there is a remarkable Thanksgiving that shines.

Darkness and Light will never be able to coexist.

And lately, when I feel hurt or sad the Lord himself lifts me off the ground and helps me to stand again. Brushing me off and renewing my spirit.

And each time this has happened to me I feel stronger and stronger. I feel as though I’ve really become intuned with the actual feeling that is attached to each episode.

Another wondering Blessing!

James 4:8 has always resonated with me.

You will deney me 3x

When my daughter was born I suffered from post pardtum depression. So much so, that I had to stop breastfeeding in order to take Zoloft while undergoing therapy.

Immediately after my daughter was born, my new daughter just never seemed to be comforted by anything, not even by me. After an easy and effortless pregnancy two years prior I felt like a failure the second time around because my new baby just seemed so different and would not connect with me.

Maybe she sensed my sadness and stress, but whose to know for sure. I felt heartbroken that my new baby was not accepting my love for her. She just always seemed to be zoned out and distant.

After weeks on meds, and trying to always comfort my new baby, nothing got any better.

One day while I was standing in our kitchen holding this tiny bundle of joy, who was wailing her tiny self out… I looked down and kissed her tiny forehead, then began to pray over her.

Dh walked in and saw me crying and asked if I was okay. I said no, I was not okay.

I told him that this little baby was going to break our hearts when she got older.

As soon as the words came out of my mouth I thought about Mathew 26:34.

As soon as my mind went to this verse, I prayed it away and asked God why that verse came into my head at such a trying time for us.

I then became filled with the ultimate mom guilt over thinking it, and that my new baby who I loved with all my heart would ever do me/us wrong, or worst, hate our very core.

During the first five years of my daughters life, we almost lost her twice.

The first time was at five months after getting her MMR vaccine. Within 24 hours she was hospitalized. I remember how frail she looked being hooked up to the breathing machines. I honestly thought the Lord was calling her home. The pain was unbearable.

But she was a fighter and came back stronger then ever!

The second time was when she was five years old. She was having some unexplained issues which led us to many doctors. No one could explain her tummy issues, headaches, and ongoing fevers which eventually led her to full-blown pneumonia.

She seemed to be sick for weeks and weeks on end. And when she got somewhat better, she came down with an awful cough that last several years. She saw numerous doctors and no one could figure it out. They treated her with different types of cough syrups and antibiotics for these years.

If that was not enough, she then came down with juvenile arthritis at age 8,and had to get weekly shots.

To this day, I swear this was all due to that vaccination that damaged her immune system at such a young age.

Currently, she is now an adult and has chosen to walk a different road with her life.

Fast Forward: I have five children.

Who’s my prodigal son? This very daughter.

This year the very unthinkable happened.

This child contacted the state and made false claims against her family.

We have not seen, nor spoken to this child, by her own doings for more then a year.

Last Mother’s Day (2018) I had a dream about this very child. It aligned with the above verse.

And again, I prayed against it.

Several weeks after this dream, the first denial took place.

This past year the second incident happened, and then just last month, the third.

Without sharing the details, as the Lord knows…

When you think it can’t get any worst, believe me, it can and does.

I feel so very heartbroken right know.

I suggested family counseling a long time ago but our daughter is close-minded to it. She has blocked us from her life.

In case you have not realized by now, Today’s world is as easy as a block. Satan has made it that simple.

There is no loyalty or love in today’s families it seems. Everything and everyone is disposable. Even family.

Regarding these awful things that has taken place in my family and daughters life, I feel like this is either a case of brainwashing, a generational curse, a curse brought on by a wolf in sheep’s clothing, or maybe even a mental disorder. None in which I want to admit or give thought too.

I recently got confirmation that I was too easy of a parent and I’m now seeing the outcome of trying to be more of a friend, then a parent.

That there was not enough balance.

I was warned by a pastor thirteen years ago that I was much too easy of a parent and would be paying the consequences in later life.

I was also warned by many parents who saw something in my daughter that I simply did not see. I was blinded out of my love for her. I never once saw what everyone else saw. Why would I? I love my children with my whole heart and only want the best for them.

Fast forward once more:

I have now been triple smacked in the face with reality.

The reality of seeing what everyone else saw, for once.

How could I have been so blinded? I feel like such a failure right now. I’ve never experienced this much heartbreak in my entire life.

That said, I know the Lord will help my family through this trial. He has never abandoned me. I know in my heart that his will will be, and that this is not about me, even though the arrow that has been thrown feels so.

This is about character growth for my daughter. Multiple Things that she needs to get through and overcome.

Our family can use some serious prayer right now.

Cultural Differences

Disclosure: For observation purposes only.

I have written about cultural differences before. I did it so interesting there there is any in my bubble of life.

Manly, the differences between whites and Hispanic and blacks.

And I’m certain about women cultural differences, as I’ve only had experiences with men.

Mostly, I’m impressed how family-oriented the majority of Hispanics and blacks are.

I really wish whites were more family oriented. But most get married and nice far away from their families, and so on.

Being married to a Hispanic I have tried to raise my family with the motto, ”Family First” as it’s something I admire about other cultures, as a whole. I’m pretty sure people from India also live by this motto.

I confess, this was something that was on my mind prior to saying ”I DO”

to my husband. I really wanted to marry into a large close-knit family.

Year’s later I found out that hubby’s siblings were not thrilled with his choice to marry out of his race. I’m still very sad about this. I found out through friend of his family.

Due to this, my family has not really been included in all the family activities throughout the years.

Getting back to differences, for the most case.

Yesterday my teen daughter went with a friend to an amusement park.

She came home and shared the story below.

While waiting in line for a roller coaster.

(THE sign said that there was a hour and twenty-minute wait)

Naturally, people would be losing their patience during such a long period.

Apparently, a black mom with young ones was trying to cut a white lady and her husband in line.

The white lady got upset and told the black lady to go back to prison where her kind belong.

Then violence broke out and the black lady punched the white lady. Then the white lady started to share colorful language and pull the black ladies hair out. Surroundung black men were trying to bring peace to the situation.

The black ladies kids started cheering their mom on.

The white ladies husband tried to break it up but also got hit, so then joined in.

Surrounding onlookers decided to then get involved.

Then the park security got involved.

But…

No one could get in-between the two women as they continued to argue and fight.

Then my daughters friends father who was standing off to the side held up his phone on video mode and yelled to them that they were now on Facebook LIVE.

That made them stop immediately!

I guess no one wants the world to see them at their worst.

Moving onto today, at Sams Club.

I was cashing out with my teenage son.

He had his arms folded as he walked along side of me.

I was pushing the cart like I always do.

When we arrived at the door where the employee checks your sales slip, the man (Black man, maybe in his 30’s.) scolded my son for not pushing the cart for his mother.

AND, for walking with his hands folded.

Then he told me I should not have to be pushing my cart.

I smiled and told him that it was fine, and we left.

THAT has happened to me several times through out the years. It’s nothing new.

But worthy of nothing, it’s never a white man!

It is always a black man.

Last year a black man in the parking lot of another store saw me putting my groceries into the trunk and ran over to where I was, insisting to help.

I told him that it was fine, that my husband was in the car.

And then he asked me why my husband was not helping his lady out.

Honestly, I didn’t mind. But the reason I didn’t mind was because I’m use to doing everything myself. I think.

I suppose I would mind, had I been use to having help.

But whose to say.

Some years back I had another back man ask if I needed help reaching for some cookies. I was on the cookie isle trying to decide what to buy, while looking upwards, and was immediately approaced and asked if I needed help reaching.

He was not a worker, because I asked him. Just a friendly stranger.

Another time I was at a shoe shire and on the same isle as a black couple. They looked around my age.

The women kept apologizing to her man for taking so long in the store.

The nan we r up and beyond the call of duty and assured get her that he had no where else her rather be then by his Queens side. And to take all the rime she needed. Then, asked her how many pairs she wanted, because she was with it. 😱

I know it’s not good to envy, but I was like… What? Where did this man cone from?!

Minutes later, his mother who was sitting down on a bench walked over to him and asked if he would take her home, that she was tired.

He immediately told her that he would, and told the wife that he be back in a while.

The way he continued to talk to his mother impressed me so much. So respectful!

As I watched them go toward the front door, he took his moms bags and even her pocketbook. Of course he also, with hands full, opened the for for her.

So you see, there is a HUGE cultural difference. Huge!

Do I wish that there was not. Sure!

I’d love to be educated on some female differences if anyone has any stories/thoughts to share. 🙂

Family Sayings

My oldest daughter recently brought to my attention that our family has too many made up sayings.

I rename a lot of things. I’m not sure why. I know their real names, but since the kids were little I renamed many things, and now that they are older they have went off in the world with all these made up worlds that have everyone confused.

Yes, they know the correct words also, but since they have heard me call certain things, certain names for so long… it’s become hard to drop my cutesy sayings. Or so I’m told.

1. Our SUV is called The Tank.

So when my daughter is walking out of the mall with her friends, or church, she points to our vehicle and says, “There’s the tank!”

No one around her knows what she is referring too.

2. Hand sanitizer is know as Germ Killer.

Again, when my kids ask the teacher or one of their friends for hand sanitizer, they refer to it as Germ Killer.

3. Snacks are referred to as Fun Food.

When the kids ask their friends if they would like fun food, their friends ask what that is?! Lol

3. Then there is coming home and changing into your pajamas.

I have always said, “time to get cozy, cozy.”

And that means get ready for bed.

Again, when my daughters are having sleepovers and they ask their friends if they would like to get Cozy,Cozy….They get some odd looks from their friends.

I think this all started when the kids were toddlers. We had a fire place that I use to refer to as The Hot One.

I would tell the kids to be careful and not play near The Hot One.

It was very cute to see my little girls point to the fire and say Hot! Hot One!

But now it’s not as cute when my teens ask me to pass them their iPad…or drink, on THE HOT ON.

4. Laundry is referred to as Chores.

The kids have several chores. (Dishes, feed animals, vacuum) But laundry specifically, is referred to as Chores.🤔

5. Our House is referred to as, The Fort.

I can think of so many other ones we have, but have shared enough for now.

Does your family have any special names for anything?

Today’s Youth & Lifestyles

Be warned. This is something I’ve been adding to for the past month, and will be jumping all over the place. But….🙃

 

 

~Today’s Youth & Lifestyles~

 

 

Why do today’s youth frown at having a service job? Aka’ flipping burgers; sort of speak.

Didn’t all the us that grew up in the 80’s want to work so damn bad, that whether it was in a fast food joint, or cleaning up animal messes, if we got a pay check, we were all in!

Could it be because we were use to doing without?

 

People always question why? Why don’t kids want to start at the bottom?

I fall into this category too.

Why?

Most fast food places that I go to are basically run by the 40+. I always am confused by this.

Oftentimes I think it’s because more kids are in college full time until they reach thirty. Many remain at home and don’t work at all. I think I have found a couple puzzle pieces to this. Of course I could be wrong.

But….back in the days when we started removing both parents from the home, more often then not, out of necessity. I realize this.

By having both parents working, and hourly wage improving, parents had more money then their grandparents. More money coming into the home,eventually meant more vacations, toys, etc.There came a point, and I think it really took off in the early 90’s… where parents started providing more for their kids. Whether this was out of guilt, for not being around after school for them, or tucking them in at night…

Regardless, the more kids received, set the stage for MORE! MORE! MORE!

Always wanting more.

They saw their parents not saving for anything anymore, simply charging it.

Long gone are the days where people do without, use cash, save for all major purchases, and go on only a few vacations each decade.I will be the first to raise my hand here.

My mother was a single mom, but had several credit cards. When I wanted something, like new red Reebok High-Tops, because all my friends had the latest and greatest, she would get them for me. I can’t recall a time that I really wanted something that I did not get. Of course at the time, I didn’t realize how much damage it was doing to me. Or, that it would be thrown in my face for the next forty years.

But that’s besides the point.

My kids started off getting an allowance, but the more money that came into my household, did not mean a larger allowance. No, it meant no allowance, and I would just buy it.

Or charge it.

Before my family made a major move, more then a decade ago, we were swimming in maxed out charge cards.

We both became a part of the problem, which is why I don’t mind talking bluntly about this now. We have never been upper middle class, but I do consider us middle class.

However, there was a time when we were living paycheck to paycheck. I think this is the major reason people decide to get credit cards. After we sold our first house, we paid off all our credit cards and cut them up.

It was liberating!

We lived within our means for around five years. Then we started feeling bad for not being able to give to our kids what their peers had. So.. the cycle began again.

But by this time, along with a couple credit cards, I started working full time. Let’s be honest, even adults enjoy new things and instant gratification every so often.And while I have always been perfectly happy with ‘new to me’ things, I do like my lattes and avocado toasts as much as today’s youth.

I also like having a new cell phone every couple years. Keeping in mind- that all my work is through my phone.

And if I didn’t have a phone, I would not be working. That says something about myself. Something rather ugly, but we won’t get into that today.

In a nutshell, I’m all about convenience. I spent many years doing things the hard way. Now I want to do everything in half the time.

Much like today’s youth.😐

I don’t like gardening, yet enjoy organic foods. I have medical issues like everyone else, so during times of not feeling my best, I like to treat myself.

Again, ‘new to me’ but none the less.

We use to take yearly vacations, now that has increased to about 2-3 a year. Nothing fancy, but again, none the less.. a weekend trip here and there still counts. I think all these little things turn into bigger things over time. And while I have never felt that I had a ‘lifestyle’ to uphold, when comparing my families life to my neighbors, I’d be lying to think otherwise.

I’m thinking of how all the little things that I’ve grown accustomed to having, are the beginning of a lifestyle. We use to bring thermos of coffees and ice waters. Then I switched to buying a case of bottled water, and having it in the trunk for the kids to have whenever they get thirsty. Then my husband and I would treat ourselves to convenient store coffees.

After All, what’s a .89 coffee. 7-11 was our favorite because they were the first to offer free coffee syrups.That transitioned into Sheetz coffees for $2ea, and then to Dunkin Donuts coffees for $3ea, and now to $5 Starbucks lattes. Which I secretly hate, but my husband still adores. I use to pack lunch bags and coolers for trips to the city, zoo, hike, etc. But now we just go out to eat if we are out and get hungry. It started off with three Little Ceasers pizzas for only $5 each. To feed a family of seven for $15, is almost unheard of.

So why not?!  But then we switched over to stuffed crust ones at $8 each. Feeding a family of seven for $24. Doable!

When we first started going out to eat more regularly, we would all order things to share and only order water to drink. For the seven of us, this kept the bill at around $40-$50 before tip. But now it’s almost double! With tip, it is!

Everyone gets a drink, and most of the time we all have our own platters. And yes, leftovers.

I remember a few years ago being out with my mother at the grocery store and reaching for a Diet Coke at the check out. She commented to me, asking me why I was going to spend $1.39 for a drink, when we were ten minutes away from her house.I told her because I was thirsty now, and why not?! What’s $1.39. She rolled her eyes and told me that I could buy a two liter Diet Coke for that price, and she could not justify it, and couldn’t believe I was. I then asked her if she was thirsty, and told her that I’d buy one for her too. She said that she was fine to wait ten minutes. And then got angry with me.

Last year I was out with my mother again and my teen daughter wanted a fancy frozen coffee. I asked my mother if she could pull through a Starbucks to get some coffees. She responded the same way as before, asking me why she couldn’t wait ten or fifteen minutes and make coffee at home.

My reply again…Why? We are out already.

So you see, I get it! And I realize that I’m part to blame. While I don’t fall into the mind frame of needing everything to be brand spanking new, I do enjoy the little things in life.

This reminds me of a family that we use to know years ago. They were considered upper middle class. Which I’m told, means six figures.

I guess in today’s world, Rich, means you are bringing in a seven figure income.

Six figures means upper middle class.

Anyhoo, I was over this families house one day, and she told me that her husband just got laid off. Her main state of sadness, was that she was going to have to cut back, and not be able to buy her fancy coffee beans.

At that time in my life I was secretly rolling my eyes thinking… Ohhh poor you!

I was making Maxwell House and Folgers coffee at the time.

Later, I started buying those same coffee beans! 😐

But tying this story into ‘lifestyle’ and having the simple things in life..

She was really stressed out by the thought of not being able to buy the type of coffee she was accustomed to having.

THIS was something that mattered to her.

Later she opened a Go Fund me type of page and got enough funds donated, to buy their coffee beans. And she later mentioned that some neighbors blessed her family with a case of, said coffee beans.

And again, at that time… I thought this all sounded absurd to me.

Probably a lot like how my mother saw me buying a drink and coffee out, and not wanting to wait ten minutes until I got home.

This was years ago, but it has taken this long for me to realize that we all have little things that we find important. Things that we would miss if our ‘lifestyles’ changed.

This brings me to the conclusion that we ALL have lifestyles. Whether it’s buying a cheaper wine when times are tough..

Making your coffees at home with cheaper ground coffee..

Using milk instead of cream..(my husband would rather go without coffee if we have no cream in the house. This is his simple luxury)

Not having bottled water on hand and having to drink tap..

Having to get regular, instead of premium gas..

Having to paint your own nails and do your own hair, instead of salon visits..

The list is endless.

We all have little things that we will continue to roll our eyes on, when hearing…

But these little things are our lifestyles.

They mean something to us..

And today’s Youth have a lot more in common with us then we think.

That is very hard to think about. But maybe our grandparents went through the same. I don’t know.

That shared..

Back in my day, I was making $5.25 a hour and was able to afford a $325 a month rent, buy my food, and afford public transportation. So I really don’t get how minimum wage is double here, and kids feel as though they can’t afford a $600 rent and remain at home.Then again… that would mean cutting out Fancy Lattes, Drinking strictly Almond Milk, having new phones, and yes, daily Avocado toast.

And I would not even omit any of that myself. 😁

 

So tell me about your lifestyle.

What is something that you would rather not do without.

Would you open a Go Fund Me page for it? 🤔

Getting older/Change

When I was in my mid-30’s I was so excited to see the world ever changing, but now being in my mid 40’s, it’s somehow depressing me.

Maybe it’s change. We are humans of habit, and having a world that is ever changing is oftentimes hard to keep up with. I use to love technology, and now I sometimes wish it didn’t exist. I have wasted so much time online that I want all that time back! But it’s too late.

Looking back to my life five years ago, change didn’t bother me at all. But now I’m realizing that it is effecting my day to day living.

I’m feeling as If I don’t know where to go from here. Like I want to stop time.

So my only guess, is that I’m getting older and coming to the conclusion that everyone has been through this at one point and time. Or will!

Life also seems to be going by much quicker then it did just five years ago.

My body is not what it was, nor my mind, and how I saw the world and people. There is so much hurt in the world that we don’t always think about. Frankly, it’s depressing to think so much on. Yet it’s hard to ignore because everything is in your face.

I sometimes wonder if this is how our grandparents felt when the television became a household add-on.

Before that you received the daily newspaper and either read it or not. Then televisions bombarded the homes with local and world news.

And now, it’s the internet.

Even if you use it sparely, you can never escape the ADS. And if you don’t choose to read what’s happening on the day to day, you have people telling you about it, or overhearing it in passing. Every single thing focuses around the Internet.

So yes, if it sounds like I’m depressed, I am.

It’s so hard to not compare myself with others my age who are still full of energy and zest; living for the moment. Welcoming change.

How I wish I had that mind frame back. Because for many years that is how I lived my life.

But life is not all fun and games and change is inevitable. More then often, hurtful.

I am struggling to find the balance.

I have so much planned for this year still. Things that have been already been paid for. Things have been ordered, and life is already written on the calendar and for the most part, planned out.

I’m told that THAT helps to not fall into depression. Organizing. Planning.

Even so, I feel as if I’m just going through the motions..

I Gave You A Mother

I am the mother I always dreamt of having myself.

I gave you my TIME.

My mother was rarely around.

I home cooked all your breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and all of your Birthday cakes from scratch.

My mother served me TV dinners.

I taught you how to cook.

My mother did not cook.

I played hours upon hours of games with you.

We talked. We laughed. We played some more.

I have no memories of playing any games with my mother.

I read many books to you that led to so many deep discussions about life and love.

I have no memory of my mother ever reading to me. Not even a bedtime story.

I taught you to read and write. I made the choice to homeschool you.

I was schooled at many different schools that left me with zero positivity on public education and self worth. Not to mention the social aspect of always being the new kid that didn’t fit in, which in return, warped my views on many friendships.

I gave you security and a stable home, family, and lifestyle honey.

I moved every year, oftentimes twice a year, up until you were born.

I dreamt on what it would feel like spending most of my childhood in one town and home. The security of knowing what to expect with each passing day.

I gave you that feeling that I wish I could have had, and experienced.

I gave you all your needs and most of your wants.

I gave you a Full Time Mother and a Full Time Father.

I gave you FOUR siblings and FOUR friends.

I grew up very alone.

And while all that is important to me, what’s even more important to me, is, I taught you about Christ.

I taught you about Gods Love for his children.

I taught you who the creator of this universe is.

I taught you that God loves you no matter what.

And how scripture IS your medicine during life’s ups and downs.

I taught you, and showed you, how much the Lord Loves you.

I grew up with no foundation of this. I wish I would have turned to God during all my loneliness, and all my heartbreaks.

So while I sit here and think about where I could have given you more, I’m coming up empty.

I gave you EVERYTHING that I always wished I would have had.

A Full Time Mother.

A Loving Mother.

A Mother who would make you feel special. Who would make you laugh beyond measure.

A Mother who wanted to be around you and spend quality time with you.

A Mother who would never see you as a burden.

A mistake.

An inconvenience.

A Mother who you trusted, and one that you knew Loved you no matter what.

A Mother who cared about YOU more then herself.

A Mother who would lay down her life for you.

A Mother who loves the Lord with all her Heart and Soul.

I Love You dear daughter of mine. I Love you SO much!

If I could have given you even more, you have to know that I would have.

But I gave you all that I had to give sweetheart.

I gave you a Full Time Mother.

I wish it would have been enough…

Fun times on Vacation…

It’s just the little things when it comes to our family. Which is a super relaxed one.

So far we have lounged by the pool.

Hooked up with another homeschool family.

Ate out way too much.

Went to the mall.

Went to Royal Nails, which is said to be the best nail salon five years running. And yes they were!

Tomorrow we are taking the kids to Hannah’s Mirrored Maze. (Will post pictures then.)

We have been doing ubur again on vacation. It really is nice.

Per usual, the resort beds do not compare to our temperpedic back home, so I had to buy tiger balm for the back pain.

I also went to target and found this cute photo prob for eBay. 😉

I have noticed a huge difference between people in SC, verses people in NC. I’ve never noticed it before. I won’t say which is which, but one state has friendly people then the other.

2018 New Years Resolutions

Diet, Fast, Circuit train

No dairy, sugar month on January

Gallon of water a day in January

Learn one new thing EVERY DAY.

Ex: Are people who live in the desert climates more healthier then the rest of us? 🤔

Spend less time on YouTube

More time playing board games with the kids.

More time outside

Cook more at home

Double my profit on eBay by December 2018

Travel more

I’m sure I’ll be adding to this list. 😉< strong>Anyone else jumping on the New Years Resolutions train this time around? 😁

Oh! I am also living on the edge on this very last day of 2017.