I practice Grace based Parenting and do not believe in using scare tactics with my children in order to get them to conform to his likeness. I believe that the spirit, and the spirit alone should convict.
We correct our children with words, love, compasion and understanding. Knowing that they are human, and like us, they will not always be perfect. Yes, this is much more time consuming then giving them a wack on the rear, or worst, out to the woodshed!
We need to stop, drop whatever it is we are doing, and go to our toddler/children’s side, explaining to them what they are doing and why it may not be the best thing to be doing at the time. We then must take the time to explain to them in words, and ways, that they can understand the situation at hand. This is not the lazy mans way of parenting, but the results are having loving, caring and helpful children that truly do rise up and call you blessed, per Proverbs 31:28
Sure, there are going to be times that you lose your cool. Maybe if a child is getting ready to touch something hot, or run in the street etc. You will have you stop it ASAP. Not having time.. to explain anything!
90% of the time we are able to explain right, verses wrong to our children, as well as setting the example ourselves.
~Regarding Christians that like to throw bible verses in my face to PROVE to me that we MUST spank our children.. I would like to challenge them to do a real ROD study on their own…Not just go on the “old school” train of thought, of what the preacher and your parents taught you.
We have done several extensive studies on the shebet (translated “rod”) and know that the bible talks about several different types of Rods..and Proverbs 13:24 is talking about the “authoritative Rod” Not the 100+ pound rod that was used to break a lambs leg.
Challenge everything you have been taught, DO NOT except it as truth, unless you have studied it for yourself, and prayed about how the Lord would lead you and your family. Ask yourself….. How is your method working for you? Do you see your children behaving better each month that goes by? Getting into trouble less? Not being sassy, or talking back? Not having a lazy, slothful spirit? Is it working for you? Really? Even if your not a Christian? Are your kids different from other kids, due to your parenting,love and affection?
What will ye? shall I come unto you with a rod, or in love, and in the spirit of meekness? 1 Corinthians 4:21
Why is it, that we quote Proverbs so much when discussing the Rod anyways, but fail to ever look at the NT and what Jesus says? What about, Matthew 25:40 ”‘when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me.’
This really changes those night time newborn cries ladies. We can not exactly say… Sorry, You have to sleep through the night! I’ll take care of you in the morning, or when I am not so tired and bothered by your needs…Your Baby needs You whenever he/she is crying or fussy. Do not make them beg for your warmth, comfort, security, and LOVE. You can NOT spoil a newborn, despite what you have been told all your life!! History does not always have to repeat itself regarding parenting styles. There are new, better ways of doing things, You do not have to be a product of your upbringing. The Lord made you unique and different! Haven’t you heard?
After Jesus resurected- He told us that we were no longer servents but we are his friends. John 15:15 If you look at all Paul taught after Jesus resuerection, you will see how Jesus treated people. It was not with an iron fist! Not even remotely harsh to those he loved! But with Gentleness and Love..This is how we are to treat everyone, not only our children.
Love really does conquer all. By us loving one another in a Godly fashion, our light will shine so bright! We will be STARS! Not in the Hollywood sense either, we will be STARS FOR CHRIST!
We are not suppose to with hold love, as Jesus NEVER withholds love from us…He also never punishes us when we mess up. Just imagine if he did?
What if I did something wrong, and Christ told me that he doesn’t want to hear about it, he’s mad at me and is going to with-hold his love from me, until he’s good and ready to except my repentance. THIS is what many parents do to their children every waking hour! We are not suppose to condem and manipulate either, to win over someone.
We are called to Love One Another. Let’s say it together..LOVE ONE ANOTHER! If you are having trouble with this concept, go to the father and ask him to help you love others, the way that he loves you…I promise, you will wake up one morning not knowing what happened. In the blink of an eye, you will have this total desire to love on people. Love Gods Creation,Mankind, Love the Earth, Love your Family & Friends, and even Love your Enemies! People that you never thought you could ever have anything but remorse, or pity for, let alone, undying, everlasting love towards them. You will see them and Love will over take you. You will want to help them, listen to them, have compassion for them…
How can we Love our ememies if we are so busy shunning one another, even within the brethren? Some say, we are to Love from a distance, and by doing any more, we are enabling them to keep sinning. I just never got this train of reasoning? The greatest commandment is to Love Christ and One another. I am not much use to someone, if I never see them or talk to them, and just live by the useless, meaningless words….But, Hey brother/sister, “I love ya!”
How exactly does loving someone at a distance actually work anyways? I know a couple folks that fully stand behind this statement, but have no issues with bad mouthing these people that they supposely LOVE, behind their backs! Hmmm, doesn’t sound much like love to me. —–>LOVE =TIME, & TIME= PATIENCE <——
Just imagine how the world might evolve, if we, as believers took the time to LOVE and have PATIENCE with them? WOW! I can only imagine!
Who the heck are we trying to fool with such meaningless words? Not the Father I hope! As he sees our hearts, and we will forever remain transparent to him! AMEN!
That said….These are some great places to start for an in depth study of The Rod for those that may be open to a different more relaxed, yet Beneficial, way of parenting in True Love.
Petition Against Corporal Punishment for children.
“Discipline must come through liberty. We do not consider an individual disciplined only when he has been rendered as artificially silent as a mute and as immovable as a paralytic. He is an individual annihilated, not disciplined.” – Maria Montessori
They still practice corpural punishment in many public schools…
The following was filed with the U.S. Department of Education’s Office of Civil Rights on February 6, 2010 by the Coalition Against School Paddling* against the state departments of education in these states: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, North Carolina, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and Wyoming. This complaint arises not from specific acts of discrimination but rather from the ongoing practice of paddling in public schools throughout the state of [state’s name]. Paddling is a form of punishment that involves striking a student on the buttocks with a wooden paddle in order to inflict pain. The paddle may have holes drilled through it to reduce wind resistance and thereby maximize the velocity with which it can be swung. Generally, the student being paddled is required to bend forward at the waist to receive the blows, often with their pelvis braced against a desk. School paddling is inconsistent with Title IX because it inherently impacts boys and girls unequally. Unlike boys, girls who have entered puberty would have to reveal intimate personal information in order to avoid the chance of this punishment being unfairly compounded by menstrual discomfort, or of being a risk factor where there is the possibility of pregnancy or other female-specific vulnerabilities. Either the school callously and/or recklessly does not address such concerns when paddling girls (concerns which many students may be too embarrassed or intimidated to volunteer), or it intrusively does inquire about them. There are at least two known incidents where paddling had medical consequences due to a student being female, one in Dunn, N.C. from 1981 (ref: “Don’t Inflict My Pain on Others,” by Shelly S. Gaspersohn, USA Today, October 23, 1984) and another in Scioto County, Ohio from 1997 (ref: “Some Ohio schools not sparing the rod – Corporal punishment allowed in districts,” The Plain Dealer (Cleveland), September 24, 2000). With children of any age, moreover, discomfort following a paddling is apt to be greater for girls, due to pressure on the inflamed and/or contused area of their bodies resulting from their normal mode of urination or, alternatively, to muscular discomfort if they awkwardly avoid this pressure. This disparity was illustrated in the case of an 8-year-old in Florida who had to use her hands to support herself astride a toilet in order to urinate without aggravating the lingering pain she was experiencing (ref: State v. Paul E. King, Florida Supreme Court Case No. SC05-258). We assert that students, male and female alike, have a constitutional right to be disciplined in a way on which their gender has no bearing. Paddling clearly fails that test.
Disclaimer: If you are a parent that spanks, I do not want this article to come across as condemming or judgemental. It is just one that is very dear to my heart. I was spanked as a child myself, so I didn’t have any prior knowledge of alternative methods of raising children until I accepted Christ as my personal savoir, and was transformed by his glorious abounding LOVE for me. This is when I knew, I wanted more for my children.
I wanted my children right from the start, to never have any doubts that Christ loves them, and I, their parent, have the ability to love them through that LOVE.