I over heard a teen the other day at Target tell her mom that she’s going out with her friends later on that night. Then she whined to her mom that she’s tired of having to tell her mom where she was going and when she would be home. The daughter then added, “Mom, I’m almost eighteen!”
The mom shrugged and told her that she better get use to the fact that she’s not an orphan and has parents. This was the first time I had ever heard that come back before.
Today’s kids would probably feel like this particular mother was controlling. Simply because she wanted details to where her almost eighteen year old was going.
This got or me thinking. Why does communicating where you are going and what time you’ll be home irritate teens so much? I was a rebellious kid myself but always told me mom where I was going and with whom. Regardless of my age. 🤷♀️
At any age, really. What’s the big deal? Are you planning on getting drunk and having a wild shameful night; that you don’t want anyone, especially your parents to know about.
I think it’s a matter of respect. Kids do not respect their parents anymore.
Regardless of how much they have given them. Regardless of anything, really. Kids nowadays don’t respect anyone! They are quick to shout out, you need to earn my respect. They will say this to their parents even. Really?
My husband and I were talking about this and he said if he ever said anything of the sort to his mom, or even in earshot he would have received a slap across the face; followed by some choice words.
Last night we were at my husbands mothers house and his brothers family were there too. They have a ten year old daughter who came inside with a long branch in her hands. She lifted up the branch and asked my fifteen year old daughter if she’s even seen a Puerto Rican switch. Along side of her, her younger brother came inside with one too. He asked why there were Puerto Rican switches in grandmas back yard.
My daughter looked traumatized because my kids were not disciplined after age five, with anything more then a firm voice or privilege taken away. Their cousin then told my daughter that a switch is used instead of a belt and it doesn’t matter if you are a teenager ‘cause if you are bad you get the switch. My daughter was speechless. And to be honest, so was I.
I’m going to remove everything I’ve been taught about modern disabling and say that these kids listen when their parents tells them to do something. Something, meaning– clean your room. Finish your school work. Who are you going out with, and when will you be home? Help me with dinner, and so on.
Isn’t their any other way to teach kids respect? I don’t know. I still do not believe in spanking.
I want to think it’s solely a heart thing. At least when they become adults and know right from wrong.
If there hearts are hardened, it will show by their attitudes and speech.
Out of the heart the mouth speaks. God knew this long before we did.
There is going to be a rude awakening when today’s teens have teens. So many of us veteran parents see this coming.
Of course that’s if they want to even have kids, because all I read online is that getting married and having kids is not at all what today’s me generation wants. Tradition got thrown out the door a decade or two ago. Before social media hit in.
I will be long gone, but I do wonder how it will be fifty years from now. I wonder what the twenty’s kids will be like as elderly folk.
They will have no one to visit or help them at all. They will have had their fabulous careers and well traveled photographs splattered on their walls where their previous generations had framed pictures of their loved ones and kids and grandchildren’s school pictures.
They will be in their 70’s, rocking in their recliner and asking for a glass of water, Only to remember that there is no one around to give them a glass of water. No one to talk with or help with chores around the house. No one at all.
This is the clear reality of the “me generations” futures. One that saddens me to think on.
What do you think the definition of Self entitlement is?
If you Google, the definition is: when an individual perceives themselves as deserving of unearned privileges. These are the people who believe life owes them something; a reward, a measure of success, a particular standard of living.
Do you have anyone in your life who fits this description?
As a Christian I have always been told by my Christian friends that this is a generational curse.
Others have said that it’s how the child was raised, and whether you were not strict enough. Maybe you gave in too much.
What do you think the definition of Self entitlement is?
If you Google, the definition is: when an individual perceives themselves as deserving of unearned privileges. These are the people who believe life owes them something; a reward, a measure of success, a particular standard of living.
Do you have anyone in your life who fits this description?
As a Christian I have always been told by my Christian friends that this is a generational curse.
Others have said that it’s how the child was raised, and whether you were not strict enough. Maybe you gave in too much.
Mrs. B reminded me of Mrs. Roper on Threes Company.
She wore bold Caftan gowns and bright blue eyeshadow and too much blush. She had long red nails and looked to have tanned leathery skin to me. Very friendly.
She had pool slides on this particular day and I remember that I couldn’t take my eyes off her uncomfortably long toenails that exceeded the shoe level and curled under.
She smelled of strong perfume that I always assumed was very expensive.
She was a widower my mom had told me on the ride there.
Her husband passed some years prier, but she never shared the details with my mom on how.
She was an empty nester.
She claimed to have had one son who was away. No other details about him.
Jail? Military? Whose to say.
She seemed happy to me, but behind the cheek to cheek smile, she was probably very lonely.
Maybe that is why the table was always set for three. My mom shared.
When we arrived that day she greeted us at the door in her a floral print caftan and told us to please help ourselves to the lemonade in the pantry refrigerator.
She said that she’d be outside by the pool if we needed something more.
That morning was the first time I went to this particular house with my mom. It was a newer job.
My mom told me to not mention or ask about the dining room table in ear shot of Mrs. B.
I asked her what she meant. She told me to shhhh, and pointed toward the dining room direction.
I walked over to the dining room, which had a door. I thought a door in a dining room was very cool!
The walls had bold red wallpaper with gold flowers. The drapes matched the wallpaper.
I thought it was jazzy looking!
I saw a large China cabinet and a piano in the corner of the supersized room.
Then I turned to look at the table and noticed that it was set for three. A white tablecloth and cloth napkins with brass napkin rings that reminded me of a fancy restaurant.
One plate that was at the end of the table was empty with some gravy remnants still on it and a wedge of bread that had a few bites taken from it.
A wine glass that still had some wine left in it was to the side of the plate.
The other two place settings had a full meal on them.
The silverware looked untouched, as they were still wrapped in the cloth napkin and ring.
One had a full wine glass full and the other had a glass of milk.
Both untouched.
It confused my twelve year old self.
I left the dining room through a larger area then where I walked in which had a few steps down to a living room.
There was a large box television on the floor and leather furniture. I noticed paintings on the walls but no family pictures of any sort.
There were built in book shelves with lots of books. I noticed an encyclopedia set that I had myself. Well, not as many as she had. It seemed she had the whole set. Maybe two!
The floor had a large area rug and a glass coffee table. I don’t remember much else of that room.
My mom told me to vacuum the area rug and sweep around it and make sure that I didn’t sweep the dirt under the rug like I did at home.
She was going to clean the dining room she said, and take care of the dishes and food.
Afterwards we both cleaned the kitchen together.
Mom asked me to open the refrigerator and start handing her all the left overs in it.
There were so many.
They were all in recycled cool whip, butter, and cottage cheese containers. They were covered with tin foil. Mom used Glad wrap and I thought it was odd to see tinfoil being used.
As I started taking the tin foil off the containers I started to crinkle it up to toss it into the trashcan that I had pulled out from under the sink.. Mom scolded me and told me that Mrs. B saves the tinfoil and reuses it, so not to crinkle it up and throw it out.
I thought that was odd at the time, but later realized that many people did that back in the days. Same with the recycling the plastic cool whip and butter containers.
My mom emptied all the leftovers into the garbage disposal while I hand washed all the containers with JOY dish detergent. The only reason I remember that Mrs. B used Joy, was the smell of it. It stuck with me for years.
I honestly have no idea if they still make Joy, as I use Dawn, and always have. Maybe I’ll look for it the next time I grocery shop.
I still wonder why she had cooked so much during the week that resulted in so much wasted food. What was the real story?
After the food ordeal, I wiped out her refrigerator while my mom cleaned the stove, floors, counters and sink.
Afterwards We were greeted by Mrs. B who came through the back French doors and asked how we liked the lemonade, and that it was a special recipe that her husband loves.
Later that day, my mom told that she mentions that it’s her husbands special recipe every time.
I remember thinking that it sounded like her husband was still alive. How she phrased the sentence.
My mom spoke for the both of us and said we were both fine and had a big breakfast.
I was not fine though and wanted to try a special recipe. I told her that I’d love some.
I did not consider a pop tart and Sunny D a large breakfast.
My mom then gave me a look and told me that I was fine, and to not trouble Mrs. B.
Mrs. B walked over to me and gave me a side hug, telling me that I’m no trouble at all.
I got a huge whiff of her perfume and continued smelling it on me the remainder of my day. She was such a nice lady.
Mrs. B walked around the corner to where we were standing and opened a smaller refrigerator. It looked very old to me. I liked the funny handle that it had.
She then told me to choose a glass in the cupboard.
I chose the largest glass and she poured me lemonade to the tippy top. She then asked my mother if she was sure she didn’t want any.
My mom said she was fine, still looking at me oddly.
As I lifted the glass up to my mouth, I noticed a certain smell that I couldn’t place, yet it was somehow familiar.
I took a large gulp, and REALLY wanted to spit it into the sink. It was a sweet lemony flavor, in a bad medicine chemical way. I think it had sweet n’ low in it too, as I recall the aftertaste of sweet n’low, having tasted my moms black coffees with sweet n’low for so many years.
It was a bright yellow color, that reminded me of Mr. Clean.
Secretly I think it had some in it.
And as an adult, I find myself wondering if her husband met his fate one morning drinking some. Perhaps it was her secret recipe. Not his.
But then again, maybe I watch too many Lifetime movies.
I was at the mall shopping with my girls today and I noticed that my two youngest were simply not excited. Last night I told them that I was going to take them to ihop, and then to the mall. It’s one of the fun memories that I had with my own mom growing up, and then with my two oldest girls when they were teens. I had hoped to have similar memories with all my girls. Especially since they have money to buy things, and it’s not simply window shopping and eating at the food court, like when my oldest two were teens and things were tighter.
But to my surprise, they did not even want to go, let alone buy something for themselves. They didn’t want to look in any of the stores, and just wanted to be home they both said. Haven’t we been home enough this year?
Now home, I find myself sad. I just had a good cry. I have not cried at all this year, and thought I would make it without a dry, but I guess not. It’s hard for me to have a good time when they were not. I wanted us to all make a fun memory.
I remember people watching and laughing with my second born, and the hours would just fly by because we were having so much fun.
I also have similar memories with my oldest, who does still enjoy shopping, and just handing out not at home.
I know the world is changing and people are not excited so much anymore, but today at the mall I noticed that everyone around me seemed to be having a good time except for my girls. I love them both so much and wanted them to have fun today.
The mall was very busy. Yes, everyone had their masks on and they were only letting 38 people into each store at a time, but no one seemed to mine. It was as if it was a new normal that people just rolled with.
Teens were shopping with one another. College kids were in groups shopping. People my age and older were shopping. I even noticed couples that were CHRISTMAS shopping together. Asking each other for their opinions on coats, sweaters, etc.
People are resilient and strong! Not letting our changing world get the best of them. I think that is so important!
I’m already finished with my Christmas shopping so I just bought a few impulse buys, and made the most of it. I also treated my girls to Peppermint milkshakes.
I had hoped to get some new Holiday decorations and then come home and set up the tree and decorate. But when I mentioned it to my girls, they said were fine if we didn’t put up a tree at all.
My oldest and son are excited to put it up though so it’s going up. We all need some normalcy right now.
I asked my two teen daughters if they knew why their excitement in outings seemed to be fading. I wanted to see if they realized this for themselves. They have they said.
They told me that it’s just that they are not the excitement type anymore.
Okay. I don’t like it, but if that’s who you are I can accept it.
Does anyone with teen girls find that they have lost their excitement they once had?
Ihop breakfastMall line.A very pretty Sigma pallets that was in Dillard’s.
While tidying up a friends house this past weekend while she was away, I was reminded of my cleaning days as a teen.
My friends house was very clean, nothing like the large mansions that I use to help my mother clean back in the 80’s. Yet, it reminded me of a time passed.
My mom use to clean large Connecticut homes back when I was a teen. I remember going with her when school was canceled, due to the snow or teacher conference day.
Big multiple story homes with staircases that were just for looks in the front entrances, along with rooms that were only sat in for the Holidays.
One house had bathrooms that were male and female and an indoor pool with ferns circling it.
They were homes that I use to dream I lived in someday after marrying a doctor, accountant or lawyer. (These were the men girls were told to marry back then) I secretly wanted to marry a dentist.
I’m going to start writing about certain homes that I helped mom clean as a teen.
I started going to our local country store when we first moved here sixteen years ago. Many good memories with my two oldest daughters. My youngest kids have no interest at all. Sadly.
Today was very rainy (flooding, actually) so after getting coffee downtown, my oldest daughter and I spent three long hours, slowly looking and walking down memory lane.
She has just started getting into selling vintage glassware and wanted to test her new found knowledge. She highly recommends Dr. Lori on YouTube, if anyone else is interested in learning about antiques.
There is so much to learn but so worth it. I just started watching the Dr Lori, to learn.
Now, let’s go browsing together…
Recognize anything that your parents of grandparents once had? The nutcrackers are especially nice. Old water basin that I imagine was next to a ladies bed back in the day. I would use this now! Seems reasonable for the age.My mother had these, as fix my aunt. I imagine a little girl receiving this doll from her father who had been away at the coal mines for months. Perhaps he stopped in the city on the way back home to get it for her. I wonder how many generations it was passed down before ending its fate here. 😕And for little Billy, the son..So fragile.My granny had this set. I feel like things were miniature back in the days.I wonder who she was and whether her children have a copy. A telephone booth that I feel has been for sale since we moved here. Beautiful!A roll top desk with keyA fake Prada bag that someone thinks is real. I would try it. 🙃Solid wood sewing machine table that I would have adored. I remember when foods came on reusable cans. The kind my mother use to smoke. I always used my allowance to buy them for her Christmas stocking when I was a kid. 🤣Does anyone remember the Longnecks? I remember she. They looked like this. $5 for the six pack is a great price! A postage stamp quilt! $135He sees you when you’re sleeping…Saddens me that this was not passed down to keep it in the family….Had we had money to blow when my two oldest daughters were little, I would have definitely bought this for there bedroom. A Bakelite vanity set. All decked put for Christmas. This Buffalo Plaid Deer spoke to me. ♥️Maybe for a mans garage. Decor?! They just don’t make things the way they use too. Such a beauty! I bought this for us. 🙂 I also bought something else for a friend, but she may see this blog so I will not point it put. 😉
I still don’t feel old mentally in the grand scheme of things, but I am noticing I am aging. Mentally and physically.
Weight– It is definitely harder to lose weight at this age.
Not to mention that a medication that I’m on has a lovely side effect of weight gain.
I use to hear this from the older generation when I was a teen and never understood how taking a medicine could cause weight gain. Was it all sugar? I thought to myself back then.
When the doctor told me that the new medication she was going to put me on did have a side effect that many women notice, weight gain, I just thought to myself “sure doc, not me”
I figured I would have salads for two meals instead of one. (I silently thought while listening to her tell me that I should really lose some weight or my knees will continue to hurt, but also, not to be alarmed, but this new medication has a weight gain side effect)
Well-
I’ve gained 20lbs this past year and feel horrible over it. Yes quarantine with all the home cooked meals is partly to blame too.
I miss going to the gym so much.
It really helps. I just feel better at the gym. Everyone together with a likeminded focus.
I’m so unmotivated at home to work out. We use to have gym equipment years ago, but then we joined a gym and I sold it. When I’m home I see it as “home life” not working out. Not to mention my work place.
I feel like you can shed weight in your 20’s and 30’s with ease.
Eat what and when you want, walk a tad and don’t eat before bed and you just magically drop weight.
In your early 40’s you need to work out though.
You need to work out on actual Gym equipment to keep things tight and firm.
And as long as you are working out, you can still eating what you want for the most part.
Now after age 45, you can’t eat what you want or not exercise. You also can’t properly digest things that you once could, such as raw foods. Nightshades! Oh my beloved nightshades.
Throw in some meds, and you are doomed unless you workout and starve yourself. It’s a lovely thought.🙄
I suppose you can diet and not workout if you have the willpower. I have done this off and on for years. I get bored eating the same things though.
My generation had parents that made you finish your plate and try all the foods..and not be picky.
Well thank you very much.
Now I love all the foods! I’m not picky at all. Except for Sauerkraut and Brussels Sprouts. AKA’ Mush and Eyeballs. 🤢
I was recently read that Jackie Kennedy ate one meal a day. A baked potato with caviar. And if she was really hungry a hard boiled egg with a side of cottage cheese.
Nothing else was ever swallowed the book said.
She had to have had the willpower of a saint to keep that perfect size 4 figure on her 5’7 frame. I bet her mom was the same way.
Many old time Hollywood actresses followed the chew and spit diet. Yes! Gross! (Now it’s considered an eating disorder, but back then it was a diet)
She also smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and cocktail hour was all day. Like Joan Crawford and many others.
Currently I’m only eating one main hot meal a day and having salads and hempseed Keifer shakes, while alternating oatmeal for brekkie each day. One omelette per month only. I do miss them.
It’s not fun and I’m miserable to be honest.
Nothing is more aggravating then depriving yourself, only to hop on the scale and see the same number. And sometimes 2lbs more, depending on the time of day, and the time of month it is.
I still drink coffee and tea. I’m trying to have just a tea bag in water with nothing else, and black coffee with stevia. Treating myself to Cappuccinos on the weekends. I was never a spirit drinker, except socially, but nowadays I have no friends that drink and have not had any Alcohol in two years. Nothing you want to be doing while on any medication, either. I do miss Champagne and may treat myself to some this coming New Years.
This is yet one more thing that I’ve become like my husband. He’s never been a drinker. In fact, his very first alcoholic beverage was with me back when we were dating and I took him to the Hard Rock Cafe on his birthday. I ordered us Long Island ice teas because he liked ice tea he had told me. I think the idea of sipping wine late at night on the front porch while watching the fireflies in the summer sounds romantic, but is it really? Lol
Getting back to food-
My alternating oatmeal’s are just made with hot tap water and no cream or milk to cut calories. I started this during quarantine and have not noticed that it helps in any way, but I’m use to preparing oatmeal this way now, so I will continue.
My medication is for Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia, btw. Both run in my family as I’m sure many other families.
Once Covid calms down I want to get back to the gym. I honestly think it’s the only thing that works for the middle age weight gain thing. And brain fog, which I also feel sprung out of no where.
Today I’ve been working on jewelry inventory. I list several hundred pieces a week now and afterwards, sit down and assign each peace a letter.
This is today’s bin I’m working on. S.
I just realized after I finished assigning each piece the letter, that I typed the number 2 instead of the letter S in each listing. 🙄 What the what?
Am I suddenly becoming dyslexic too now?
I’m Closer to fifty then forty now.
It does not feel like I’m old. But I am! I’m Not mad or sad over it. In fact I’m very in touch with it and fine with it. I am simply noticing it for the first time though. In neon!
Eighty percent of my life is over I’d imagine.
Do I have another twenty years?
Only God knows.
My mom is in her early 70’s and my dad is early 80s. Both still like the energizer bunny. Of course they are! They are over stressed people who thrive on being busy and stressed. I’m not that person. Neither is my brother who spends his days at the beach when he’s not working and dreams of retiring at a camp ground, after living full time at one out in San Diego. He’s just as chill, if not more so, then I am.
Both of my parents told me years ago that having five kids will scale a decade off my life. And asked me why would I want that.
I really don’t mind if that’s a true statement though. In fact, had I started my marriage sooner in life I would have gladly had five more kids. I love my kids so much and they have never been an inconvenience or regret.
I’m not sure what I thought aging would feel like, as I’m a take it by day sort of person so am fine with what’s happening. I just didn’t see it coming. Lol They say you get crabby in old age. Not yet, but I have noticed that I really don’t like making plans or committing to anything anymore.
It’s just who I am now. I use to be a planner but have become more like my husband throughout the years, who hates planning. Gosh, we can’t even commit to a weekly dinner menu. Another thing that I’ve become more like him.👀
I use to be a strict meal planner, but many times my husband would come home and say that he didn’t feel like XYZ, and just make a sandwich or bowl of cereal.
Something else my older friends use to tell me back in the days is that Once you are married for over twenty years to the same person, one becomes more like the other. I have 110% become more like my husband.
Some of my friends even tell me that I remind them of THEIR husbands. Sometimes that is not a compliment! Most cases not. 🤪
Okay, moving along..
Now Let’s talk feet. I know, unless you have a foot fetish, we all hate feet. But… people have foot issues as they age. It’s a give-in. I don’t really know anyone who hasn’t. A few years ago during Sunday School prayer request there were four ladies asking for prayers for foot surgeries. Whether they had hammer toe issues, bunions, or ingrown toe issues… I remember thinking to myself… please no! I don’t want this to be a normal thing that happens to me.
Well, it has not. Knock on wood.
That said, I am having an issue. Perhaps not as bad as the above, but still an issue.
I can’t wear cheap shoes anymore. Meaning, faux leather. Or anything with a high heel .
I can only wear one brand in fact. Vionic!
I am open to trying other brands that are similar if anyone knows of any. I will not wear SAS though. I’m not ready for SAS.
I own seven pairs of Vionics. But am currently in the market for a Blk pair. What prompted me to buy pink, burgundy, mint green, and baby blue colored shoes- I still don’t know.
I still have another hafe dozen pairs of non Vionic shoes, but they are for two hours on my feet max. Otherwise, my feet simply hurt.
I need leather with arch support and toe box room. Why is this an age thing, I have no clue.
I should have saw this coming. My grandma and mother have always struggled with foot issues. As well as my older lady friends. I still recall the very first time in my life that a random lady (who later became my bestie) asked me how I kept my feet looking so good. This was back in 2003. I was watching my daughter in the church nursery and the lady next to me asked me about my feet. She specifically asked me how I kept my heels looking so smooth. Back then I had never had a proper pedicure in my life. It’s just that I was young! Still in my 20’s. Of course my feet looked nice. I told her I put rose oil on them before bed. Which I did! But I’m sure that was not it. It’s just because I was still young. I remember her slipping her shoe off and showing me her feet. They were dry and cracked. I was wearing slip flops.
Fast forward.. she was ten years older then me. We are in completely different churches and states now and still friends. Maybe I should text her a foot pic just for fun?! 😁
Nowadays, I treat myself to pedicures because I want my feet to look nice, despite how they feel at this age. I also still use rose oil on them, but not before bed because my sheets are more expensive now and I don’t want to ruin them.
What else?
Wrinkles! But not so much on my face. It’s my hands!
People still assume that I am my kids older sister when first meeting me. But I think it’s because I don’t dress my age. I’m not ready for big bold florals and polyester quite yet. 🙃
That said, I am starting to notice my aging hands more and more though. I know it’s part of life.
I look at them and wonder what happened? Why can I see my hand veins? I think the skin looks thinner. Where did it go? And the knuckle wrinkles are very prominent.
I know it sounds as though I’m beating myself up and am annoyed, but I’m simply stating the obvious on a observing level. I want to be able to look back and reread this five, ten years from now. 😆
On a more positive note, I have realized that I’m not a worrier anymore. In fact, I never worry about anything.
I also feel that my relationship with Jesus keeps increasing and everything is lined up for greater things. How awesome is that?!
I am more in touch with Gods ways, and how God allows things to happen to teach us and those around us certain things.
It’s a great sense of mental peace that I did not have even five years ago. As you mature and age, you really do get blessed with Wisdom and Peace.
So that is about it for my aging observations.
I feel like I’m living Gods will for my life which feels amazing.
Does anyone else notice any of these changes in themselves?
From North to South 