Aging

I am finally realizing that I am aging.

I still don’t feel old mentally in the grand scheme of things, but I am noticing I am aging. Mentally and physically.

Weight– It is definitely harder to lose weight at this age.

Not to mention that a medication that I’m on has a lovely side effect of weight gain.

I use to hear this from the older generation when I was a teen and never understood how taking a medicine could cause weight gain. Was it all sugar? I thought to myself back then.

When the doctor told me that the new medication she was going to put me on did have a side effect that many women notice, weight gain, I just thought to myself “sure doc, not me”

I figured I would have salads for two meals instead of one. (I silently thought while listening to her tell me that I should really lose some weight or my knees will continue to hurt, but also, not to be alarmed, but this new medication has a weight gain side effect)

Well-

I’ve gained 20lbs this past year and feel horrible over it. Yes quarantine with all the home cooked meals is partly to blame too.

I miss going to the gym so much.

It really helps. I just feel better at the gym. Everyone together with a likeminded focus.

I’m so unmotivated at home to work out. We use to have gym equipment years ago, but then we joined a gym and I sold it. When I’m home I see it as “home life” not working out. Not to mention my work place.

I feel like you can shed weight in your 20’s and 30’s with ease.

Eat what and when you want, walk a tad and don’t eat before bed and you just magically drop weight.

In your early 40’s you need to work out though.

You need to work out on actual Gym equipment to keep things tight and firm.

And as long as you are working out, you can still eating what you want for the most part.

Now after age 45, you can’t eat what you want or not exercise. You also can’t properly digest things that you once could, such as raw foods. Nightshades! Oh my beloved nightshades.

Throw in some meds, and you are doomed unless you workout and starve yourself. It’s a lovely thought.🙄

I suppose you can diet and not workout if you have the willpower. I have done this off and on for years. I get bored eating the same things though.

My generation had parents that made you finish your plate and try all the foods..and not be picky.

Well thank you very much.

Now I love all the foods! I’m not picky at all. Except for Sauerkraut and Brussels Sprouts. AKA’ Mush and Eyeballs. 🤢

I was recently read that Jackie Kennedy ate one meal a day. A baked potato with caviar. And if she was really hungry a hard boiled egg with a side of cottage cheese.

Nothing else was ever swallowed the book said.

She had to have had the willpower of a saint to keep that perfect size 4 figure on her 5’7 frame. I bet her mom was the same way.

Many old time Hollywood actresses followed the chew and spit diet. Yes! Gross! (Now it’s considered an eating disorder, but back then it was a diet)

She also smoked two packs of cigarettes a day and cocktail hour was all day. Like Joan Crawford and many others.

Currently I’m only eating one main hot meal a day and having salads and hempseed Keifer shakes, while alternating oatmeal for brekkie each day. One omelette per month only. I do miss them.

It’s not fun and I’m miserable to be honest.

Nothing is more aggravating then depriving yourself, only to hop on the scale and see the same number. And sometimes 2lbs more, depending on the time of day, and the time of month it is.

I still drink coffee and tea. I’m trying to have just a tea bag in water with nothing else, and black coffee with stevia. Treating myself to Cappuccinos on the weekends. I was never a spirit drinker, except socially, but nowadays I have no friends that drink and have not had any Alcohol in two years. Nothing you want to be doing while on any medication, either. I do miss Champagne and may treat myself to some this coming New Years.

This is yet one more thing that I’ve become like my husband. He’s never been a drinker. In fact, his very first alcoholic beverage was with me back when we were dating and I took him to the Hard Rock Cafe on his birthday. I ordered us Long Island ice teas because he liked ice tea he had told me. I think the idea of sipping wine late at night on the front porch while watching the fireflies in the summer sounds romantic, but is it really? Lol

Getting back to food-

My alternating oatmeal’s are just made with hot tap water and no cream or milk to cut calories. I started this during quarantine and have not noticed that it helps in any way, but I’m use to preparing oatmeal this way now, so I will continue.

My medication is for Osteoporosis and Fibromyalgia, btw. Both run in my family as I’m sure many other families.

Once Covid calms down I want to get back to the gym. I honestly think it’s the only thing that works for the middle age weight gain thing. And brain fog, which I also feel sprung out of no where.

Today I’ve been working on jewelry inventory. I list several hundred pieces a week now and afterwards, sit down and assign each peace a letter.

This is today’s bin I’m working on. S.

I just realized after I finished assigning each piece the letter, that I typed the number 2 instead of the letter S in each listing. 🙄 What the what?

Am I suddenly becoming dyslexic too now?

I’m Closer to fifty then forty now.

It does not feel like I’m old. But I am! I’m Not mad or sad over it. In fact I’m very in touch with it and fine with it. I am simply noticing it for the first time though. In neon!

Eighty percent of my life is over I’d imagine.

Do I have another twenty years?

Only God knows.

My mom is in her early 70’s and my dad is early 80s. Both still like the energizer bunny. Of course they are! They are over stressed people who thrive on being busy and stressed. I’m not that person. Neither is my brother who spends his days at the beach when he’s not working and dreams of retiring at a camp ground, after living full time at one out in San Diego. He’s just as chill, if not more so, then I am.

Both of my parents told me years ago that having five kids will scale a decade off my life. And asked me why would I want that.

I really don’t mind if that’s a true statement though. In fact, had I started my marriage sooner in life I would have gladly had five more kids. I love my kids so much and they have never been an inconvenience or regret.

I’m not sure what I thought aging would feel like, as I’m a take it by day sort of person so am fine with what’s happening. I just didn’t see it coming. Lol They say you get crabby in old age. Not yet, but I have noticed that I really don’t like making plans or committing to anything anymore.

It’s just who I am now. I use to be a planner but have become more like my husband throughout the years, who hates planning. Gosh, we can’t even commit to a weekly dinner menu. Another thing that I’ve become more like him.👀

I use to be a strict meal planner, but many times my husband would come home and say that he didn’t feel like XYZ, and just make a sandwich or bowl of cereal.

Something else my older friends use to tell me back in the days is that Once you are married for over twenty years to the same person, one becomes more like the other. I have 110% become more like my husband.

Some of my friends even tell me that I remind them of THEIR husbands. Sometimes that is not a compliment! Most cases not. 🤪

Okay, moving along..

Now Let’s talk feet. I know, unless you have a foot fetish, we all hate feet. But… people have foot issues as they age. It’s a give-in. I don’t really know anyone who hasn’t. A few years ago during Sunday School prayer request there were four ladies asking for prayers for foot surgeries. Whether they had hammer toe issues, bunions, or ingrown toe issues… I remember thinking to myself… please no! I don’t want this to be a normal thing that happens to me.

Well, it has not. Knock on wood.

That said, I am having an issue. Perhaps not as bad as the above, but still an issue.

I can’t wear cheap shoes anymore. Meaning, faux leather. Or anything with a high heel .

I can only wear one brand in fact. Vionic!

I am open to trying other brands that are similar if anyone knows of any. I will not wear SAS though. I’m not ready for SAS.

I own seven pairs of Vionics. But am currently in the market for a Blk pair. What prompted me to buy pink, burgundy, mint green, and baby blue colored shoes- I still don’t know.

I still have another hafe dozen pairs of non Vionic shoes, but they are for two hours on my feet max. Otherwise, my feet simply hurt.

I need leather with arch support and toe box room. Why is this an age thing, I have no clue.

I should have saw this coming. My grandma and mother have always struggled with foot issues. As well as my older lady friends. I still recall the very first time in my life that a random lady (who later became my bestie) asked me how I kept my feet looking so good. This was back in 2003. I was watching my daughter in the church nursery and the lady next to me asked me about my feet. She specifically asked me how I kept my heels looking so smooth. Back then I had never had a proper pedicure in my life. It’s just that I was young! Still in my 20’s. Of course my feet looked nice. I told her I put rose oil on them before bed. Which I did! But I’m sure that was not it. It’s just because I was still young. I remember her slipping her shoe off and showing me her feet. They were dry and cracked. I was wearing slip flops.

Fast forward.. she was ten years older then me. We are in completely different churches and states now and still friends. Maybe I should text her a foot pic just for fun?! 😁

Nowadays, I treat myself to pedicures because I want my feet to look nice, despite how they feel at this age. I also still use rose oil on them, but not before bed because my sheets are more expensive now and I don’t want to ruin them.

What else?

Wrinkles! But not so much on my face. It’s my hands!

People still assume that I am my kids older sister when first meeting me. But I think it’s because I don’t dress my age. I’m not ready for big bold florals and polyester quite yet. 🙃

That said, I am starting to notice my aging hands more and more though. I know it’s part of life.

I look at them and wonder what happened? Why can I see my hand veins? I think the skin looks thinner. Where did it go? And the knuckle wrinkles are very prominent.

I know it sounds as though I’m beating myself up and am annoyed, but I’m simply stating the obvious on a observing level. I want to be able to look back and reread this five, ten years from now. 😆

On a more positive note, I have realized that I’m not a worrier anymore. In fact, I never worry about anything.

I also feel that my relationship with Jesus keeps increasing and everything is lined up for greater things. How awesome is that?!

I am more in touch with Gods ways, and how God allows things to happen to teach us and those around us certain things.

It’s a great sense of mental peace that I did not have even five years ago. As you mature and age, you really do get blessed with Wisdom and Peace.

So that is about it for my aging observations.

I feel like I’m living Gods will for my life which feels amazing.

Does anyone else notice any of these changes in themselves?

Friendships after 40 Part 2

I have been trying to encourage my husband to come out of his shell a bit.

I feel like a lot of us forget how to make friends as we age. Sadly. And it’s even harder for introverts.

I would love to do a meet up some day for people who need help making friends, starting conversations, maintaining friends, and so on. Or maybe just a meet up on how to “meeting up”

Having online friendships is fine, and they definitely add o your life. Much like pen pals did back when I was a kid, but even on a deeper level. I feel as though having in person friendships have ceased though. Not that online friends don’t fill in the gaps, but nothing feels better then sitting face to face catching up with a friend. Or group of friends. It feeds you somehow! Not to mention, it’s fun!

Last night my husband and I were in a group setting. (Under twelve)

At first everyone in the room was quiet.

That always makes me nervous, if I’m being honest.

I know it’s not actually possible, but if I’m in a room full of quiet people, I feel as if I can feel their anxiety and feels.

It becomes burdensome and heavy.

I don’t know how else to explain it.

In this small group setting there was this one man who started up a conversation with a lady. It seemed as if she was a nurse.

She started talking about how she had wrist surgery this past week. She then added that her knees were next on the list. That was my cue. Similarities. I feel like if we really listen to people speak, we can find common similarities. Listen to people speak, not just talk.

That same man then asked me and my husband how we were doing.

My husband said fine. And knowing that’s never the right answer for any conversation, other then a cashier or waitress when they ask, I replied with more. I told him that I just had the remaining gel shots in my knees this past Friday, and was happy that they were finally over. And that I pray they work. Short and to the point.

What do you think happened next?

The nurse asked what did I have done, exactly. She also added that she use to be over 300lbs and she had weight loss surgery and had dropped 160lbs in the past two years. But, her knees still hurt just as bad as they did being heavier. But her diabetes was gone.

So we started talking among ourselves. Her husband was an older fellow that she had to also care for, and she seems tired and stressed.

Older then me I think, but sociable and nice. The kind of gal you can be friends with.

There was only one other “couple” who looked our age in the group. The man of this other couple started talking about his job, and how he worked for a bank.

I noticed his wife had several cans (4) of Diet Coke in her open handbag and kept pouring them into her adult sippy cup. She seemed very relaxed, having her legs swung up over the chair in front of her.

One man commented to her about her soda stash, and she said she realizes that we all pick our poison. The man laughed and told her that everything is okay in moderation. Small chat.

Being a former Diet Coke drinker, I felt like I could start and maintain a conversation with her though.

After our group was over, my husband told me he was going to try to start up a conversation with the other bank guy. Seeing as he also works for a bank.

I was happy that he was going to make the effort, so I figured I’d jump on ship and talk about Diet Coke with the lady, and how the struggle is real. Many time small chat leads to conversation.

But things went down hill real quick.

The moment the gathering, which was a lesson was over, the couple start to dash for the door.

We notice that this happens all the time.

No matter where you are.

It’s as if everyone is punching a clock.

Or.. maybe they all hate people.

Doesn’t matter the day or time. If you are in a group setting. Once it’s over, people want to go back to recluse mode.

Each year is getting worse. It really is.

My husband and I were about six feet away, when my husband says to the man.. “Hey, which bank do you you work at, I work for (………..).

The Man, with his back still towards us, turns only his head slightly to tell my husband the name of the bank, and then continues to walk and says, work in computers.

My husband then says that he works with computers too, and that maybe….

And with that, the man and his wife were out the door and down the stairs.

During all of that I tried introducing myself to the wife, but she didn’t turn her head, motion to me, or knowledge that someone was speaking to her.

She just stayed silent pretending not to hear me speaking to her while sipping her soda and walking.

I felt so bad for my husband. He wants us to have couple friends. Currently, we only have one couple who we are very tight with, but they travel several time a year, for a month at a time, so it would be nice to have a couple more to dine and hang with. We are not ready to throw in the towel and give up. We are married, not buried! We like to have dinner with friends, have people over, and share life with. I swear this is how, and why cults start up.

So after that, my introverted husband looked at me, head down, and said, “See? I tried. You saw all that right?” Yes. Yes I did. I replied.

People are so self absorbed and in their own bubble. I thought people would have come together more this past year, but nope! Quarantine changed nothing! Nothing long term.

People never want to have conversations. Or maybe they forgot how? Seriously.

Maybe with our online worlds, even the older generations are forgetting how to have meaningful conversations off line. I also wonder if it is like this in other counties. France? Italy? India? Australia? How is it like in other countries? Are people standoffish everywhere now?

Or is it just here in the states.

I have spoken to my daughter about it and she says she experiences this too. It’s all age groups.

No one wants to get together outside of mutual gatherings. There is no hospitality anymore. I thought it was bad a decade ago, but it’s 10x worse nowadays.

And it’s not because of Covid, because all of these people are still going on vacations.

I would say that is the number one thing I hear people talk about in passing lately.

So they are talking, but maybe it’s with another family member or with an already established friend. Whose to say.

I’m not so focused on the talking part, as I am on the meaningful conversations part.

You know, getting together on a double date and sharing life with one another. Past and present.

Telling stories and laughing with one another. Making memories.

I have such fond memories of these types of get togethers, that I’d really hate to think that they are forever no more.

We need each other.

We need people in our lives to cheer us on. We need people to comfort us when we are down and lift us up. Celebrate and count it all joy! Regardless!

I have sadness in my life, but it does not define me. There is still beauty everywhere.

Gosh, scripture backs all of this up in neon. Why are so little practicing it?

And I still feel bad that I encouraged my husband to make the effort and it did not end well. But I will continue to encourage him to not give up.

Past Friendships. Friends after 40

Why is it so hard to make friends after age forty?

I’m not asking for myself. But on second thought, sort of. Something happened tonight that has got me thinking about friends.

Back story-

It has always been easy for me to make friends. Probably because I’m an extrovert. Overly outgoing I’m told. I’m sure It stems from childhood. But what doesn’t?

I still recall my first best friend in the second grade. It was my first day of school and this boy behind me kept reaching over his desk to tug on my pigtails.

Weeks past and he was giving me notes that said nice pretty girl. I think my aunt still has, said notes. They became a daily thing at one point. But It wasn’t until my Birthday, three months into the school year, that he gave me a necklace that was in an envelope. (I still have it) It’s one of the few things that I’ve managed to keep all these years.

It was also the first gift a boy had ever given me. After that, I decided to invite him to my birthday party. Then we became besties. Plain and simple. The following year I moved and I met this girl named Jillian. She was the school baddie. Yes, third grade mind you. We then became besties. She taught me so many bad things that led us to the principles office on more then one occasion. It’s odd what we can recall if we just take a moment to think. I remember that she wore her long blonde ponytail to the side of her head. Way up high. I remember the style of her brown purse and asking my mom to buy me one like it. (She did!)

She wore chunky school girl heels with denim mini skirts. (Mom drew the line when I asked for those) She smacked strawberry Hubba- bubba gum even louder, blowing bubbles and laughing when the teacher would tell her to come to the front of the class and spit her gum out. Honestly, why on earth did I want to become like her. But I did. The year flew by! I remember us popping bubble wrap whenever the teach had her back turned. We both got sent to the principals office for it, and both our moms were called to punk us up. It was strict back then!

The moving around continued and next, I met two girls named Ivonne and Maria. We all became besties for a year.

Moved again and I met a girl named Carol. Turned out we were also next door neighbors and class mates. (I actually reconnected with her when my first born daughter was five) I flew down to Miami, where we me, and we went out to dinner. She told me that her parents still live in the house next to where I use to live. Wow!

Yes, the moving continued on and I met my best friend Jennie in the forth grade. We also had two other girls that joined us as besties. Michele and Nickki.

I went to three different schools for the forth grade, hence all the besties.

In fifth and sixth grade I changed schools, but so did my best friend Jennie. She also went to 7th and 8th grade with me too. (Different schools again) In ninth grade, Jennie went to a different high school then me. A trade school.

We both applied and got in, but when it came to picking a trade, it was just too much of a commitment for me, so I decided to not go that route. I had to actually choose one trade from a list to learn all about, and I just couldn’t do it.

So I ended up going to a high school that my friend Nikki was attending. Just your basic high school where one of the kids know what they want to do when they graduate.

The only problem was that Nikki went off to greater things and made better friends. Better friends, meaning the honor school kids. She, like me was being raised by a single mom. But her mom was strict. She was expected to get good grades and study hard. I was not. So in ninth grade, I quickly became a tiny guppie in a huge fifty gallon tank. All alone. I hated school. I did make one friend Terry. But she did not have the best reputation and even though I wasn’t the greatest kid, I knew that I would be getting in too deep by hanging with her long term.

So one day, mid year, I told my mom that I was not going to go anymore and she said fine.

I decided it would be fun to travel instead. I had two jobs, and some money saved so I decided to move in with my dad. The only thing I was not counting on, was that he made me go back to school. It was in a different state too.

He enrolled me in private school. Looking back, I feel like, had I put even a tiny bit of effort into it, I may have liked it. But I was a brat and through a fit every day until he told me I didn’t need to go back. I decided to get a job instead. Saved more money and went back home.

Then Life happened! I was moving every few months. I also got into the party scene, and was pretty irresponsible. I never stopped working though. I just was always bored with jobs. I waitressed, hostessed, cashiered, worked as a florist, a live in nanny, door to door sales..

I thought I had finally found a new bestie at a supermarket job I was working at, only to find out that she was after my brother and was using me to get to him. It was a huge mess because she also became my housemate.

Sure I had fair whether friends in between all of the mess, but what I really missed was Jennie, so even though years passed, I still knew her number, so one day I called it and we picked up right where we left off.

I also enrolled at night school and got my diploma, graduating the same year as my class. No regrets there!

Jennie remained in my life right up until I got married. After I married, she ended us marrying my ex boyfriend.. and well, things were awkward and we haven’t kept in touch. I did see her wedding pictures on Facebook though. That was nice.

After I married, I thought my besties would become all of my sister-in-law’s. But sadly, that never happened, and I’m twenty-five years in. Not having any sisters of my own, I really wanted to marry into a larger family and have sisters finally. Instead, I had four daughters and gave them all the sisters that I never had. I am happy that I was able to give my kids the life I always wanted to have.

In my twenties I met my current bestie, Melissa. We still talk and our families spent the holidays together last year.

In my late 20’s, I also met two other ladies that became my mom gang besties, but when my family moved down south, are friendships fizzled out. They say out of site out of mind. I’m not sure why that is. But like grade school, it just is. It can’t be helped and there is no blaming.

You can see a clear pattern if you look back onto your own childhood. Who were your besties? If you, or them, never moved out of state, then they may very well still be your besties. What an amazing blessing!

As you get older, 40+ it is next to impossible to make good friends. Let alone, married friends where your husband just so happens to click with the hubby of a lady who you click with. Oh the stories I have of girlfriends who have never gotten my husbands weird sense of humor. More often then not, I end up clicking with the husband and the wife. And well, that doesn’t actually work.

In this day and age we are taught from a very young age that your life is meaningless unless you travel. Travel does not come without a price. The price is, having roots. Friends that are more then fair whether. No one ever taught me any of that growing up. So I am now currently teaching my own children this. Wanderlust may satisfy your self when young, but robs you of so much more in latter life. Sharing your life throughout the decades, and making and having roots in one place is so much more fulfilling. (In my opinion and looking back into my own life)

Even if it’s an area that you think has nothing to offer you, Blooming where you are planted will satisfy your soul long term.

So what happens after age 40? Regarding friendships, if you have not nurtured and watered the ones that you made in your 20’s snd 30’s…

Can a married couple find other married couples to be friends with and all four click? After age 40.

I think the answer is no.

Hence why, you see so many couples of today each having their own separate friends. Even separate houses. Relationships are evolving into something that I don’t even recognize anymore.

I will be sharing a few stories on friendships throughout the week. Tomorrow’s post will be on what happened to my husband tonight, when trying to make a friend. After age 40.

Love, Lust, Marriage, Honeymoon Phase

Love, Lust,Marriage, Puppy Love, Honeymoon Phase

How was that all on the same line?!

Part 1

I have been thinking about relationships lately.

Mainly, because I was made aware that a former pastor and his wife had divorced and the pastor is already remarried. While the wife is playing the field. Sort of speak.

They were asked to step down from their positions, naturally.

I met the two of them over a decade ago, and from that very first day I couldn’t help but be enamored with them both.

They were about the same age as my husband and I, yet they had these unique playful qualities that I always called, the honeymoon phase. Or puppy love. Something that I’ve never had before. It really sparked my attention at the time.

I remember watching them across the room one day…playfully flirting with each other; as if they were teenagers.

Another lady noticed me watching them, while casually smiling.

She leaned over and said, it’s hard to believe that they have four kids and have been married since their teens…

So they were far from being newlyweds.

Yet, while looking at them.. it seemed like a Hallmark movie come to life.

I only knew them for four years, in which nothing changed. (We moved away after that.)

They seemed like the most perfect couple.

In every way!

And despite everyone telling me that THAT simply doesn’t exist. (The perfect marriage.)

Being a hopeless romantic, I’d like to continue thinking differently..

This couple had a reputation of admiration among all of us married folks…for having it all together. They seemed to have the perfect balance of, well, everything.

So even though they both have moved on and are now happy apart, I’m still somewhat saddened at recalling the memory I still have…

Which is why I’ve decided to write about it.

It feels good remembering them together. So perfect!

And while I didn’t know them all that well, I did see them at church several times a week, and at monthly dinner parties at the monthly, couples dinners.

And yes, I know it is not right to place anyone, or any couple, on a pedestal. I’m just sharing my memories here. ☺️

Part 2<<<
member a good friends husband once telling me, or perhaps warning me… to not think so highly about his wife, because she will let me down eventually. And that we are all imperfect humans, constantly letting one another down. I remember how depressing that sounded tone at the time. As I've grown up, I realize how true that statement really is.

As stated, I was never all that close to the pastor and his doe eyed wife, but I had always wondered what their magic antidote was for sustaining a marriage that clearly remained in the honeymoon stage.

Was it because they both worked a lot and so that the time that they did spend together was valued.

That's what I've always thought, up until now.

Part 3<<<
etimes I think about arranged marriages and how they choose to love someone.

Naturally, they do not marry for love. Like most of the population.

I once knew someone who had an arranged marriage. It really fascinated me because that would have never been something I myself, could have ever partook in.

I always enjoyed lengthy conversations with her on the phone telling me how love should be a choice, not a feeling. That the feeling part was called lust.<<<
the choosing to love your spouse, was much like our love for Christ.

It was a beautiful thought..

I remember asking her about sexual relations. Yes, We had a very open conversation one evening. *blush*

Does this mean that love and sex are two separate things, I recall asking her opinions on.

Is this why so many couples cheat, yet still claim to love their spouse, because sex has nothing to do with love. And vise Versa.

And the answer was, from the religious stand point, No.

But for the rest of the population, Yes, that is precisely what it means.

People have sex all the time that are not in love. We all know this.

Then there are people that love each other, but don't have sex. She shared.

It’s an interesting topic, non the less. < em>Conclusion:o even though this former couple are both very happy with their new lives I will always remember the fire in their eyes when they looked at one another.

Because In my personal opinion, it was, and is the definition of a very special kind on love.

#11 Mid life crisis’ 

I hear everyone tends to go through a mid life crisis’ between ages 40-50 years of age.

Men generally complain about the their wives during the metapause process too. One of the same perhaps? 

Both men and women have a certain period in their life when they feel just meh, for lack of better wording. Unhappy. Discontent. Bored. 
But if we all know this, and it seems that everyone goes through a spurt of discontent in their lives; mainly upon reaching middle age… why not start praying for God to intervene years prior. This would be so helpful!

It’s so important to teach this to newly married couples. Start praying now! 

It may sound selfish, but I almost feel it’s unfair to complain about your unhappiness.

I say this now because I’m past it. 

I was terribly discontent a decade ago, but was not middle age at all. 

I was unhappy because my life got uprooted and placed in a pile of, dare I say, sh*t?

A rose bush uprooted and placed in a field of daisies would never be happy. Would it?

Unless that rose was actually meant to be a daisy..

But never mind about that. 😉

I am talking about middle age ruts.And what people can do to remove themselves from them..

I don’t think it’s enevitable. I think we do have some control over it.

I still don’t believe we can choose to be happy, it we are miserable. But we can start praying while we are content and happy for our futures. 

It always feels like the most praying goes on when you are not happy. 

But if we start teaching to pray just as consistent when we are happy…

Anyways, this is something I have started teaching my children. 

Bloom where you are planted. 

Gosh! I wish someone would have taught me this years ago….

Hotel Stays

The best part of staying in a hotel is waking before anyone else, showering, packing, and then realizing that you can go back to bed if you want…
You don’t need to gather laundry, or tidy up, or even make the bed of you don’t want to.

You can simply, enjoy yourself!


Now there was a time when I found tidying up fun. About a decade ago. 

But as you get older you appreciate the luxury of having someone clean up after you. Like a child. I guess?! 😉
Not that I’m a particularly messy person. I had a cup of coffee this morning and didn’t leave the cup on the nightstand. I tossed it in the trash! But I could have left the cup on the nightstand. If I wanted too. 

A picture of the messy room from bed. 😉

I think there comes a time in a mothers life where her idea of a ‘good time‘ is doing nothing. Nada!

Sometimes NOTHING, is the best feeling in the world. Am I wrong?! 



There are times when dh wants to go to the movies, out for dinner, or just out for coffee and treats… and if we are ALREADY out and about, then by all means… let’s do it!



But if we are already at home. Cozy. In my yoga pants, then the last thing I want to do is get up to do my hair and makeup. Then get suitable clothing on and leave my house. 

I mean, we have Netflix and delivery nowadays. 🤣
Sometimes I think this mamas mind frame is only for mothers of many

Not that I consider my five kids MANY…

 I know my friends with 7+ kids are probably rolling their eyes at me… 
 

~Can anyone relate to this?

My text to DH

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What aI meant to ask him was,

“Do you want to eat and go swimming beforehand, or after we drop them off.

because they’d (the kids) would like to go swimming too.”

 

The kids have VBS tonight. So we were going to squeeze in a trip to the pool.

But…

I was distracted by the kids talking to me and trying to show me something in the middle of texting him. 😂

Afternoon date ;)

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We have been trying to visit all the coffee shops in the city.

This afternoon we tried West End Coffeehouse , in Winston Salem, NC.

Prices were reasonable. $4 per Latte’ Opposed to Starbucks, $5.25 Lattes.

They also serve wine and gelato.

They had the best quality coffee syrups.

The 1883 brand. And close to fifty different flavors, at that.
DH got the usual. A white chocolate mocha. Which he slurped down before I was able to snap a picture.

I got the sugar-free Latte’ Breve. Mmm!

Date Night

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I was trying so hard to fast from sweets and coffee this month, but then my husband took me out…

Above is a ‘Mammoth Coffee’

Very much like the ever popular Bulletproof coffees.

They sell them at Whloe Foods.

 

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And here we have a Reeses Peanut Butter Cake.

Organically made.

Does this mean it’s healthy?

I had about six bites. 😐

 

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I added cream and stevia, not realizing that it’s not the traditional way of drinking this beverage. Which is anaquired taste.

The 5 Love Languages

 

I am sure every one has read this book at one time or another. I was talking about it recently with dh and a friend, which led me to writing this post. I think it is very  important for us to know what our spouses, friends, and children’s love languages are. It really is helpful in a relationship to know.

For example: If a friend who is going through a hard time, who’s love language is, Words of Affirmation, and I send a gift, the gift can be real nice, but really is not going to do much for the friend.

Same goes for a friend who’s love language is Receiving Gifts.

If I try to console them with a hug, or offer to clean their house, these things may be sweet gestures, but will not actually be helpful for the  friend in need.

What are the 5 Love languages?
1.Words of Affirmation-
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important.

2.Quality Time-
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention.

3.Receiving Gifts-
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift.

4.Acts of Service-
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes.

5.Physical Touch-
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy.
For more detailed info, click here.

I went ahead and took the online quiz.  Because no one knows what their love language is, better then themselves.

I took a guess before I even took the quiz. And I was right on!

That said,

I think it is equally important to know what “other peoples” love languages are. Especially those close to you. ❤️

For example:

My mother NEEDS me to remember every single holiday. A gift, and a  card, show her I love her, and am thinking about her. If I forget even once, she feels regected. She also needs Words of Affirmation occasionally.  Therefore, she falls under #1, but mostly #3.

My father NEEDS me to tell him how important & fearless he is to me, and how much I admire him. He is not afraid of anything! And likes for me to remember that!

Which I do. He falls under #1 all the way!

At times, I still like to send him a gift, as I do my mother, but it is usually not very important to him.
I have come to realize in relationships in general,  If you are not getting the love language that you so desire, it is often times hard to give your friends and family the love languages that they  really need. It falls under mis-communication I suppose. Or maybe the whole, men are from mars, women are from venus.

Regardless.. The ultimate key is, Be Sincere! :o)

 

And for any one who does not  know what their love language is..You can go here, and take the quiz.  It really is that easy!