It’s not only you.
Sometimes it helps knowing that you are not alone regarding circumstances within your family.
Having not seen or spoken with one of my daughters in nearly two years has had me thinking about how many families across the nation have, or are in this same circumstance. Yet, never talk about it.
I miss my daughter terribly. I miss her voice. I miss her smile. I miss her jokes. I miss her! We disagree on pretty much everything, but I still love her to death.
I’m open about all of this because I want people to know that they are not alone. Even though sometimes it feels as though we are the only one with a broken family. I use the work broken, because broken can be fixed.
After spending this past year asking some friends who seem to have all their ’ducks in a row’ sort of speak, I have not found one family that has no dysfunction within it.
I hate using the term black sheep of the family, as that is the term I have always heard it called when I was a child.
Often times during the Holidays there would be that one person that was very much part of the family but had decided to distance themselves from their family at some point. Coining the term, Black Sheep of the family.
I have a cousin that has traced our family back to the 1800’s and has kept many notes. She knows all our skeletons in closet.
She says that there is not one family where there has not been one person that has left.
It’s an ongoing cycle. One that I really believed I would break. But nope!
When I think of my parents and their siblings, I can think of the one on each side who stepped away from the family.
My mom and my dad each have estranged siblings.
I have a brother myself who never contacts me.
And now my kids have an estranged sister.
Both of my best friends each have estranged brothers.
During prayer recently a Sunday school teacher was asking for prayer for her estranged son.
He left her family at age 20, and is now in his 30’s she said.
He has not come back yet.
She said she still sets out a dinner plate each Christmas for him and the whole guest room of unopened Birthday and Christmas gifts from the past decade.
Getting back to my cousin who knows all about our distant family….her son is estranged from her. Her daughter is not, but just remains on speaking terms with her so that she had someone to cook and clean for her family.
A matter of selfishness. We all seem to have that one family member that sucks us dry too, and just uses us.
I have an aunt that has three kids. She has one son who doesn’t speak to her.
I have an uncle who has only one daughter, and she doesn’t speak to him. Both of my grandparents didn’t speak to their parents.
I have another friend who has a sister she never speaks with and her and also has a brother and a sister who never comes around.
So many broken families with people not fighting for what is important in life, and that is unity in the family.
I imagine that the ones that walk away from us, are also the ones who bail on their marriages and other relationships, instead of seeking counseling and working through the good times and bad. It’s just so easy to quit and give up. Sadly, It’s a throw away world.
So you see, life will never be a Hallmark movie. (But I still love watching them)
The news recently said that watching Hallmark movies increases your serotonin levels because they comfort us during the Holidays when what we want most of all, is to be with our loved ones.
Watching all these happy endings makes us feel good. And we all gave that, at least.
You are not alone this Holiday season…. Missing someone who has walked away.
From North to South 